Category Archives: Ministry

What I Wore on Sunday: May 19, 2013

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Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

What I Wore on Sunday

Pentecost is kind of a hard birthday to have if you’re a pastor’s wife because it means festival worship (smells and bells though one step below Christmas and Easter) and it frequently means that it’s Confirmation Sunday so there’s usually a special reception afterwards which doesn’t work well with a child like Daniel.

Moving on…

Red and I don’t do well unless it’s a more brickish red and that shirt in my wardrobe is long-sleeved, making it incompatible with the temperatures in the 80′s today. Daniel also decided to disable my alarm clock (!!!) so I woke up at 9:45 and had to come up with clothes for both of us really quickly. Thankfully, I’d showered last night so my hair was manageable and I had clean clothes! Church also started late because of a recording malfunction that had to be fixed.

So… here are the outfits:

Jen with Daniel upside down

I need something to use as a prop because I feel strange posing by myself.

Just resetting the bear...

Daniel was more than happy to be my prop. :) He also had no problem being upside down.

Jon with his guitar.

I decided to make this a family affair and hit Jon up for his picture before he headed out to his afternoon/evening engagements.

Here are the details on the outfits:

Jen
Shirt: Kohl’s
Pants: Kohl’s
Sandals: Naturalizer

Daniel
Shirt: Target
Shorts: Kohl’s

Jon
Shirt: Auton (hand-me-down from one of his father’s colleagues)
Pants: Nordstroms (hand-me-down from a colleague)
Belt: Kohl’s
Shoes: Kohl’s

Go visit Fine Linen and Purple and see what everyone else wore today.

Five Favorites: Stupid Things People Say When I Tell Them That I’m A Pastor’s Wife

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Five Favorites

If you didn’t know, I’m married to a Lutheran pastor. Most people either know this or smile and nod politely but it causes some people to say some pretty *interesting* things. Here are the five most interesting ones that I remember, three that are reactions to hearing that I’m a pastor’s wife and two that are stupid things people have said because of who I am.

One

“So this means you can have sex, right?” This was said to me at 2003 at a visitation for a parishioner who had passed away by a co-worker of the parishioner’s son. I was standing in the funeral home next to the church in some fairly conservative clothes with my husband and his internship supervisor next to me. My response: “I really hope so.” The person walked away and I remember seeing my husband’s internship supervisor’s face turning an interesting shade of purple and his eyes almost popping out of his head. Apparently, this was one of the more interesting things he had encountered at a funeral visitation.

Two

“Does this mean that you’re a nun?” This was said to me by a Lutheran kid at a Lutheran church camp. (I point out that it was a Lutheran setting because our clergy are almost always married.) Apparently, he really hasn’t paid attention in church because I knew his pastor and said pastor is very much married with kids who are my age!

Three

“But you don’t look like a pastor’s wife!” One of my former co-workers said this during my second week of work when I came to work wearing my “Pastor’s wife of an LQPV Eagle” sweatshirt. (LQPV is the local high school in the area where my husband served his first parish.) Apparently, I’m supposed to be old and wear long dresses or denim jumpers or something??? I mean… I did the long dresses and skirts but apparently I don’t fit the stereotypes otherwise?

Let’s now just go into stupid things people have said to me because I was the pastor’s wife.

Four

“You’re a pastor’s wife! You’re supposed to be holy and doing the work of God’s church!” This was said to me by a 90something parishioner in Minnesota when I told him that he couldn’t just walk into our parsonage unannounced. It had been a week since I had undergone a laproscopic cholecystectomy (“lap chole” for short — gallbladder removal) and I was walking around the upper floor of our parsonage in my sports bra and running shorts, so I was a bit panicked when the front door suddenly opened and I heard someone calling out, “Pastor?!? Mrs. Pastor?!?” Thankfully, one of our elders was nice enough to go talk to him and explain politely why this wasn’t allowed. He was more amenable to him explaining it than the 25 year old pastor’s wife.

Five

“You’re a pastor’s wife. You can’t drink alcohol if you’re out at a restaurant.” This was said to me by one of my “special” people in Montana who decided that she needed to lecture me about my appearance and my reputation when she saw me out shopping in sweats. What she didn’t know: I never drank alcohol around parishioners and I hadn’t had a drink in probably… over a year at that point because my liver had a death wish and they had to scrape scar tissue off of it when I had my lap chole. (I’m also the world’s cheapest drunk so it wasn’t a stretch to give up drinking.) She felt that she had a duty to lecture me about my reputation and standing as a pastor’s wife which meant that she would criticize everything I did, regardless of whether or not everyone else approved of me.

Go love up Hallie and the others.

Hymns that Speak to Me Right Now (VI)

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I posted a lot of these (like 5 of them) during Lent and I think this is a series that I’d like to continue.

Our selection this time is “Open Now Thy Gates of Beauty” that is used as a processional hymn/gathering hymn/opening hymn in a number of Protestant denominations, mainstream and conservative alike. The tune is Unser Herrscher by Joachim Neander (composed in 1680 — my taste in hymns settings is “the older the better”) and the lyrics are:

Open now thy gates of beauty,
Zion, let me enter there,
Where my soul in joyful duty
Waits for Him Who answers prayer.
Oh, how blessèd is this place,
Filled with solace, light and grace!

Lord, my God, I come before Thee,
Come Thou also unto me;
Where we find Thee and adore Thee,
There a heav’n on earth must be.
To my heart, oh, enter Thou,
Let it be Thy temple now!

Here Thy praise is gladly chanted,
Here Thy seed is duly sown;
Let my soul, where it is planted,
Bring forth precious sheaves alone,
So that all I hear may be
Fruitful unto life in me.

Thou my faith increase and quicken,
Let me keep Thy gift divine,
Howsoe’er temptations thicken;
May Thy Word still o’er me shine
As my guiding star through life,
As my comfort in my strife.

Speak, O God, and I will hear Thee,
Let Thy will be done indeed;
May I undisturbed draw near Thee
While Thou dost Thy people feed.
Here of life the fountain flows,
Here is balm for all our woes.
(HT: Net Hymnal)

I love it. because it totally describes the way we should be as we head into Mass/worship/prayer: open to hearing God’s voice with the realization that God is present.

I’m amazed that I found this on YouTube but there *is* a video. Woo. It’s from the installation of a bishop in the ELCA so they have the phatty organ and handbells with a sweet choir. You’ll see women processing in wearing their stoles — the ELCA ordains women as pastors. The last man in the procession who is tall/thin/bearded is Bishop Mark Hanson, the presiding bishop of the ELCA. I actually *like* this particular YouTube video because it shows us Lutherans doing church music well. The congregation is singing in addition to the choir and handbells, which is how I think hymns should be done.

…

OK… WordPress apparently hates me tonight so click here to see it.

Maundy Thursday Music

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For those wondering, I managed to get through my phone call to Social Security without swearing at them… at least over the phone. I was not having charitable thoughts. I’ll take this up the next time I do confession.

Today is Maundy Thursday (at least that’s what the Anglicans and Lutherans call it) with Maundy coming from the Latin word “mandatum”. If you read the story in John 12-14, you see Jesus commanding his apostles to wash each other’s feet, eating the bread and drinking the wine in His memory, and to love each other.

I could probably attempt to write a treatise on the Eucharist and how it’s an example of anamnesis but I don’t feel called to do that. I have the theological knowledge and the Greek knowledge but it’s late and forced recall is not a strong suit when I’m tired. Instead, I’m posting two YouTube videos.

First Youtube video: “How Beautiful” by Twila Paris with scenes from “The Passion of the Christ”. I first heard this song 10 years ago when the church I was attending based their midweek Lent sermons around it. It’s beautiful and somewhat ironic that it’s used for weddings and for Holy Week.

The second video is of the song “The Summons” which came out of the Iona community. I sang it 15 years ago and it embedded itself in my brain. The reason I include it is the repetition of “will you _______ and never be the same?” I know for me that my life has never been the same since I came to faith and if it was the same, I would wonder what was going wrong. Living out our faith changes us and I fully believe that it prevents us from ever being the same as we were before knowing Jesus.

15 Reasons Why I Stay in the Church

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Earlier today, Rachel Held Evans posted 15 Reasons I Left the Church. The seminary president of my Lutheran sect denomination posted a rebuttal of 15 reasons why I came back to the Church. Having read both, I decided to post my own response.

01. I stay in the church because while worship and Bible study are important, I find that our monthly Ladies’ Night Out blesses me and causes me to grow in unexpected ways.

02. I stay in the church because when we talk about sin, we also talk about God’s love and forgivness.

03. I stay in the church because sometimes I have the answer to the questions others ask. Sometimes, they can help me find the answer to the questions I ask. It’s all about “working out our salvation with fear and trembling” in the words of Philippians 2:12b.

04. I stay in the church because if it’s going to be anything other than a cult or a country club, there needs to be a voice speaking up, welcoming people, and advocating for the viewpoint that we’re a hospital for sinners.

05.) I stay in the church because whether or not the earth is young or old is not a hill on which I care to die and somehow it isn’t the most pressing issue that we’re being called to engage.

06.) I stay in the church because during those times I have doubt, I have a community of people picking up the slack in my faith and being present for me in the midst of my doubt. In this fashion, they are helping me to stay with God even during the times I put Him on notice.

07.) I stay in the church because it was someone trying to make me into their “project” that helped me find my voice and my assertiveness. It doesn’t hurt that I’m also the focus of God’s love and that in serving Him and immersing myself in the Word, I become a better person.

08.) I stay in the church because I believe that in Christ, there is no Democrat or Republican. I also respect that people have to make their own political decisions and that their decision may not be mine.

09.) I stay in the church because I believe in engaging and struggling with the passages in the Bible that include violence, misogyny, and genocide.

10.) I stay in the church because I need the reminder that I am dependent on others in such a way that I am part of a community of faith rather than a lone wolf Christian. Being dependent on others means that there are people to catch me when I fall and that I sometimes have to do the catching.

11.) I stay in the church because whether or not I believe in having a woman behind the pulpit, I know that I am part of the priesthood of all believers and can minister to others that way.

12.) I stay in the church because our outreach enables us to help a wide spectrum of people through things like food banks, helping out at homeless ministries, and raising funds for charities. Quoting Grey’s Anatomy, “it’s what Jesus would fricking do!”

13.) I stay in the church because it spawned people like William Wilberforce and organizations like International Justice Mission. Having a food pantry box in the narthex reminds me that I’m blessed to have food. Working with a local homeless mission through the church reminds me of how lucky I am to have a roof over my head.

14.) I stay in the church because I had people who held me through those times when I doubted God’s existence and who ministered to me during my “dark nights of the soul”, helping me to keep the faith even when I wasn’t sure I had any to begin with.

15.) I stay in the church because someone needs to gently remind people that those signs violate IRS rules concerning organizations with 501(c)3 status, one of which is that churches cannot tell their parishioners how to vote or they risk losing their tax-exempt status.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.
– 1 Corinthians 12: 27-31 (NIV)

Despite everything I’ve been through as a pastor’s wife, I’ve chosen to remain in the church because I know that I am part of the Body of Christ. I also know that I would fall flat if I ever stopped being part of the church because I’ve tried doing it on my own and I fell flat. Being part of the Body means being part of a community where we ideally journey to heaven together and help those who have fallen along the path.