Official Comment Policy

Because there are people who want to be stupid and leave nasty comments for me, I decided to take some inspiration from The Bloggess (may she ever be lauded!):

When I first started blogging, I was a bit shocked that perfect strangers would go to the trouble to leave comments like “your retarded” (sic) but I quickly learned that those people are the same @$$holes from high school, and that it’s amazingly easy to change a comment saying, “You suck and you’re a crappy writer and everyone hates you” to “You are the best writer in the world and I’m naming all of my children after you.” Then the troll would return to see what damage he’d done to my self-esteem and would be livid to see that I’d changed his comment and would write, “I NEVER WROTE THAT. I WROTE THAT YOU SUCK. YOU AREN’T FUNNY” which I would quickly change to “Your writing is magical and I would love to watch you sleep but I’m afraid to get too near you because my herpes are really contagious.” Then I continue to do this until the troll spontaneously combusts from sheer frustration. It seems harsh but if someone is going to try to bully me I at least want to be entertained by it.

Bottom line: I reserve the right to edit comments in moderation if they’re particularly nasty and make them so overwhelmingly positive that people look like jerks when they write about the original comment on their own blogs. I so greatly enjoy sitting back and eating caramel corn while watching the heads of my trolls explode. 🙂

Oh yes… every new commenter has their comment go into moderation the first time which means that it’s close to impossible for a troll to pass a comment through without me being notified first. The email I get about a comment in the moderation queue contains I.P. information which means that I can I.P. ban that person. And because I love my trolls, I also take the ISP information down and forward the email with the foul comment in it to the troll’s ISP and email provider, alerting them to the troll using their Internet service and email address for harassment. In a couple cases, people have had their Internet service cancelled or had their email provider threaten to cancel their account if they do it again.

So please… don’t screw with me unless you want me to have a whole lot of fun at your expense.