About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.

test scores

noe has a new layout. go see it. do it now.

i’m starting to realize that narratives are a good thing. i got my history quiz back and i got 15/20 which is a “good” by santa cruz standards. (“excellent” was 19 or 20.) my test score wasn’t wholly based on spitting out dates and facts — there is an amount of subjectivity in it. my response would have been considered a “4” by some ta’s and a “3.5” or “3” by others.

loreena mckennitt

my midterm is done and turned in. i am a happy jen. i’m listening to loreena mckennitt right now since i’m in a sort of dreamy mood. i know that a lot of her stuff does draw on pagan sources but a lot of it is also christian. i just finished listening to “book of secrets” and i’m now listening to “the visit”. i love “between the shadows” because it has such an eastern sound. krystal pointed out something in the entry above. loreena’s music is based on a lot of celtic influences which doesn’t necessarily make them all pagan. i know this and i’m sorry if this got miscommunicated. i’ve been under attack by other christians for liking her music and so i wanted to qualify what i said. she is *definitely* one of my favorite artists and one of the most creative ones as well.

extra time

i am about three pages into the 5 pages i have to do for soc today. the midterm topic isn’t unfair (though i could argue that reading max weber’s sociobabble counts as cruel and unusual punishment) but it requires a lot of re-reading as i hunt for quotes. i’m doing this entry to keep my sanity up. i’ve got nearly a page of space allowed on the second part of my response and i still need to write the page for my first response.

my orthodontist appointment kind of didn’t happen today. mom got up here at 12:40 and told me that it was going to take two hours to get home because 17 was a parking lot. i had to make a decision about whether or not i was going to attempt to make it. i chose not to go home because i felt like i’d have a problem being back up here by a reasonable time. i also knew that this afternoon could be better spent working on sociology and relaxing myself. i wish that mom hadn’t had to come all the way over the hill to tell me this (especially since she had to deal with the parking lot on 17). it worked out actually better for me so i don’t feel as bad as i would normally.


this might be my only entry until thursday because of my soc midterm. if anyone wants to give me quick quotes for “parting the waters”, i will love and worship you. 🙂

journal changes

well… i’m talking my cue from laurie and doing my journal on my main page. i was trying to get blogger to work but it refuses to. and people say it’s easy to use… i’ll probably play with it when i have a lot more time. i have the history quiz tomorrow as well as having to get replacement prescriptions for the ones that i lost during one of my anxiety attacks yesterday. (it’s causing another one. argh!!!) at least rite aid was nice about filling them again.

church was ok today and i did get the notes typed up and emailed to matt. now just to work on my map and read some soc in prep for my midterm. soc is wordy but my current reading should be interesting.

depression strikes again

well… last night i started crying while talking to jon and continued even after he fell asleep. this morning, i couldn’t stop crying and barely made it through my history section. i was advised by a few of my friends to skip my afternoon classes to sleep and try to stabilize. i went to my sociology class only because i thought the midterm was going to be handed out today and then went home, turned on napster to my “praise” mu3, and catnapped until jon called. then i waffled over whether to go to art history and finally decided not to after my friend amy commented that since i had a notetaker, i was safe to go sleep again. so… i came back up to my room and catnapped until i had to go to dinner.

i think i really need to start treating my depression as the illness that it is and i need to realize that there are going to be times that are worse than others and that i really need to rest during those times. these are also times when i need to remember that i also need to reach out to other people rather than mope around in my room. i am planning on going to Bible study tonight and i did eat with people rather than alone this afternoon. i was also really thankful for jon louie at lunch. he let me cry and just talked to me. thank goodness for small things.

busyness has arrived!

geez… i thought things were so boring and now they’ve picked up again. i’ve got a history 33 quiz on monday, a take-home midterm that will probably be due on monday as well, and i’ll be home this weekend which means that i’m not going to get much done. on top of that, i have wanted to kill all the cigarette-smoking, trendy, sk8ter freaks in my midst for everything from waving their cancer sticks in my face to blocking the aisles when i was trying to get off the bus. they pollute the air with their filthy language and show me yet again that i am among the minority of people on this campus who isn’t into the consumerist lifestyle. many of the frosh this year are among the worst of them especially those who complain that all the upperclassmen get parking permits (probably because 90% of sophomores and juniors got kicked off campus so the school could house the frosh and those displaced people have to commute to school). the little freshlings can learn to take the bus and get some exercise walking to the suv’s that mommy and daddy bought them. they also seem to think that multiple piercings look cool. they look so un-natural and stupid. i don’t know many guys who fall for girls like that. yes… i know that not all frosh are like that. we actually do have some really good freshmen this year. it’s just that it seems like the majority of them are trendy little airheads who came to ucsc because all the other schools rejected them.

history lecture today was wonderful and soc section was ok. my sectionmates weren’t being anti-christian. this is a good thing. i got to talk to jon before he left for a lecture — another good thing. i miss my fox. i think our love deepened this last time and i think it’s making it harder now. i’m trying to be a good jen and get through my classes so that i can get out of cali and go be with jon in ohio. soc irritates me but if passing it means that i’m one step closer to seeing jon, i’ll take it on