The last few days have been packed. I attended the first funeral on Wednesday (of the three active members of our church who died this past weekend) and it was very uplifting. Mary (the deceased) was an amazing woman and the readings were very powerful as were the chosen hymns. Afterwards, I and others stayed to transform the fellowship hall from church to dining room for Mary’s funeral luncheon.<\/p>\n
Just before the second funeral, Jon told me that he and Bill had to head to Columbus to be with the family of a member of the church (D) who was having major heart surgery yesterday. His surgery was scheduled for 2:30 pm and he had a serious heart attack around 12:20. Thankfully, his son and wife were in the room and they got a code called in within 15 seconds. His brain was unfortunately without oxygen for a period of time, so his survival rate was put at 20%. After conducting two funerals, Bill and Jon were exhausted and Jon volunteered me to drive.<\/p>\n
When we got into the hospital, D was still in surgery. We sat with his wife and his son until the surgeon called us in for a conference. I wasn’t expecting to be allowed in but they asked me to stay. (Usually on hospital visits, I bring a book or some crocheting and fold myself into a chair in the lobby for however long the visit takes.) D survived the surgery — praise God! The surgeon was really awesome and explained the situation, finishing with a request for Bill to pray for all of them — a very good thing in this situation. We sat with the family and comforted them until D was moved into ICU. Again, I was allowed to go into ICU but I did so only to find out where D was so I could direct Bill there later. Afterwards, we grabbed dinner at the Wendy’s in the hospital basement and headed back home so Jon and I could do visiting hours for the person to be buried today.<\/p>\n
The funeral today went well — at least that’s what I heard. My job was getting the drinks and stuff ready and making sure our WELCA president sat down on occasion. \ud83d\ude42 I also baby-sat the kitchen with our Church Council president while the ladies were at the funeral and John (CC pres) and I did some more prep work. The luncheon went well — WAY too much food but I limited myself to only what I was hungry for at the time.<\/p>\n
In the last few days, my call has started resurfacing. Perhaps, I’ve been in prayer so much in the last few days that I’m starting to listen again and perhaps it’s because I’ve been doing so much church work — serving food, setting up tables, comforting distressed people, sitting in vigil, and thinking more spiritually. I think that it’s starting to resurface because I’m realizing that my call to the ministry is not about administrating (though I’m called to preach the Word and administer the sacraments) — it’s about helping people see the hope that *IS* Jesus Christ in their lives and helping them understand this hope and depend on it in times of trial.<\/p>\n Worship Schtuff<\/b> You’re probably saying, “Jen! How dare you criticize worship using songs written in the last 20 years! These bring young people to the church and are the future of worship.” Actually, I’ve worshipped in both the “traditional” and “contemporary” worship settings and contemporary worship frequently leaves me thinking that I’m there to be entertained and not to worship the One True God. One church I attended had “praisettes” in matching dresses who all moved the same way — including their prayer expressions (“OK… raise hands to sky – now turn to left – place right hand on heart..”) that it was like they had singing robots up there. The contemporary worship at my church in Santa Cruz was brilliant when I got there, unacceptable after the first worship leader left and someone replaced him, and got better with the next worship leader who was there for the next two years. I left that church because I really missed liturgy and being able to worship with other like-minded people. I missed the Lenten traditions of my church, the creeds, the way they treated the Eucharist with respect, the contemplative times for prayer without cheesy music playing in the background, the inspiring lyrics of the older hymns… Jon’s internship parish is worship nirvana for me because it’s traditional and everything is done with reverence.<\/p>\n OK… enough for now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The last few days have been packed. I attended the first funeral on Wednesday (of the three active members of our church who died this past weekend) and it was very uplifting. Mary (the deceased) was an amazing woman and … Continue reading
\nMy Call to Ministry<\/b>
\nAfter the unpleasantness<\/a> in April, I felt my call to ministry get really silent. Part of this was just that I didn’t want to think about my denial of entrance into candidacy and I think the other part was the fact that I realized how undiscerned my call still is. I tried blogging on the Small<\/u> Catechism<\/u> and got through the 10 Commandments, which has been formative — I now know that Luther’s thought on why we obey the BIG 10 is because we are to love and fear God. However, my spiritual life became really quiet as my heart was frequently too angry to pray or I’d fall asleep before praying at night. My QT habits are erratic at best to begin with and there are times when I get my spiritual edification through singing along with my hymn CD and times when I get it from C.S. Lewis — I don’t have a strict pattern. (Well… I did when I was in school and had breaks scheduled in that I used.) Anyway… I started not feeling my call as strongly.<\/p>\n
\nI am also really seeing what my worship identity is as well. I’m starting to move much farther away from the praise choruses (i.e. Vineyard and Hillsong) and instead am embracing the older hymns and liturgies because they really tend to fill me more and the liturgy is something that dictates the way I worship. (It’s a J thing, yo.) This week, I’ve been listening to the hymn “Abide with Me” a lot because it really reflects my mood right now in the midst of all the funerals and the hospital visit yesterday. I think that *some* of the praise choruses can be adequate for worship; but others are too vapid and really aren’t edifying in any way. <\/p>\n