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Unless you happen to live under a rock, you’ve probably heard about Mitt’s “47%” gaffe<\/a>. I am a member of that 47% so… I figured that as I’ve not hit my political snark quota this year due to promising not to badmouth any Republican candidate, I’d have some snark time now. \ud83d\ude42 Here are my “7 perks of being part of the 47%”.<\/p>\n Oh yes… please sponsor me in the Run for Courage<\/a> and please go love on Brett, my Reece’s Rainbow orphan<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n **PREREQUISITE WARNING: I am being sarcastic. Leaving me hateful comments and sending me hatemail will result in you being I.P. banned. If you are incapable of being civil or refraining from using my combox as your personal soapbox, you might want to skip this post in favor of something more palatable. — The Management**<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/a>— 1 —<\/strong><\/p>\n Finding new and creative quantities for food purchasing.<\/strong> Our monthly income qualifies us for WIC<\/a> so every month or so, I go to my local WIC<\/a> office, tell them how things are going in terms of nutrition\/eating for Daniel and for us, and receive checks for 1-3 months depending on how soon they really want to see me. It truthfully is a wonderful program and I am thankful to former president Jimmy Carter for drafting it as a way to prevent women from aborting their babies. (True story — the checks are in the mother’s name so that the excuse of not being able to feed her children is taken off the table.) However, I think the people who come up with the amounts of things need to go visit a supermarket. For “whole grains”, there exists the problem in finding the correct quantities. Loaves of bread are not 16 oz. (the amount specified on the “whole grains” check) — standard size is 20 oz. or more. You also can’t get 16 oz. of anything other than brown rice unless you have a co-op store in your community that has bins where you can measure it. I checked oatmeal canisters today at Target<\/a> and the smallest available was 18 oz.<\/p>\n <\/a>— 2 —<\/strong><\/p>\n Being told how to get my child to eat by someone who has no freaking clue about preemies and texture issues.<\/strong> My current WIC<\/a> office in northern California is wonderful and all the nutritionists I’ve encountered have been incredibly helpful when I’ve had problems or needed advice. My WIC<\/a> office in southern California, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. The nutritionist there was a complete nazi (down to the German accent — I’m not kidding) and harangued me at every appointment because my child was underweight. She’d give me pamphlets on shakes and stuff I could give him and remind me that I was the mother and I needed to take control. I wish I could have told her that gavage-feedings were a violation of the Geneva Conventions<\/a> but that would have been wrong. \ud83d\ude42 And, you know, actually giving me a referral to a pediatric nutritionist was totally out of the question, right?<\/p>\n <\/a>— 3 —<\/strong><\/p>\n Getting to hang out in Department of Health and Human Services buildings.<\/strong> Imagine the foulest and most rank building you’ve ever had the pleasure of stepping into and add three levels of grime, people screaming, children crying, and grumpy bureaucrats. That would be the DPPS in Pomona. Multiply the grime level by three and add in chain smokers and screaming homeless people and you have the DHHS in Sacramento. Every time I’ve been to each building, I’ve wanted to douse myself in bleach upon exiting. Why, pray tell, have I subjected my mysophobic<\/a> self to such torture? Food stamps and Medi-Cal (California’s iteration of Medicaid). When your income level is below a certain point and you and\/or your kid are medically fragile, Medi-Cal is kind of required. When your husband is between parishes and your savings is depleted, food stamps look incredibly good.<\/p>\n <\/a>— 4 —<\/strong><\/p>\n Hearing about how you must be incredibly lazy because you’re applying for public assistance after you’ve compiled enough paperwork to put together a volume of Harry Potter.<\/strong> I mean, it’s so easy to apply for and it’s not like they require all<\/u><\/strong> of the following: birth certificates for every member of the family, marriage certificate, social security cards for everyone, driver’s licenses\/state ID’s (color copies if the originals are not available), mortgage paperwork\/rental lease, statements on all investments, copies of every insurance policy regardless of the type (life, auto, homeowner’s, renter’s), three months of current bank statements for every<\/u> account including those that might be closed, utility bills, phone bills, cell phone bills, signed explanation of anything you get for free as part of your job (i.e. our parsonage) by those who own it or pay for it, and a few other documents that I’m not remembering. I mean, it’s like no effort, right?<\/p>\n <\/a>— 5 —<\/strong><\/p>\n Being denied said public service because your caseworker lost your paperwork.<\/strong> It’s not like it hasn’t happened… three times. And of course, this is my fault, right? Especially after I physically put it in the dropbox at the DPPS\/DHHS with my worker’s number on it… TWICE? Yeah, medical providers *love* hearing about that, especially when you’re the fifth person that day to tell them that. (The providers thankfully believed me.)<\/p>\n <\/a>— 6 —<\/strong><\/p>\n Being told that if I did without the perks in your life, I wouldn’t need public assistance.<\/strong> We don’t have cable or satellite. I don’t have a smartphone or data plan. I have a cell phone but it’s for emergencies and we have the lowest possible minutes plan for it. We also didn’t have a land line at our apartment while Jon was between calls so our cell phones were pretty much it. The church pays for our Internet and during that year between calls, I found places to do Internet for free. I don’t buy clothes and when I have this year, it’s been because my bras have fallen apart or our now-defunct dryer punched holes in my shirts and underwear. Otherwise, my clothes are several years old or have come from Goodwill. My car is 8 years old and was bought used last year. (Given the amount of driving I have to do that is Daniel-related, a car is a necessity.) In other words, I’m not going out and getting pedicures or spending my money on fancy gadgets so I’m not entirely sure what perks people are talking about.<\/p>\n <\/a>— 7 —<\/strong><\/p>\n Being told that I’m a freeloader and should pay my fair share.<\/strong> Funny thing there… Turbo Tax, the church accountant, and the IRS all agree that I don’t owe any… because we qualify for the child tax credit and EIC. There’s also the interest on Jon’s student loans that we can deduct and medical expenses over a certain amount because Jon is self-employed. That year Jon was between calls? We were below the poverty line and while payroll taxes were deducted, we got back every penny paid of federal income tax. Clergy are self-employed so we pay estimates on those taxes. The refund we got last year on our 2010 taxes covered January – June of self-employment taxes if we owed any at all. (Still working on that. Sallie Mae needs to send me paperwork so I can finally finish.) So really… I’d totally pay if I actually owed any taxes and any refund I get is automatically put toward the next year’s estimates so it’s not like I can go on a massive shopping spree with it.<\/p>\n <\/a>— Bonus —<\/strong><\/p>\n Being told that I have a victim mentality and have an overinflated sense of entitlement.<\/strong> Actually, I don’t have a victim mentality in the slightest. Did crap happen and did we get put in a bad place? Yes, but that’s the nature of life. Do I feel entitled to housing\/food\/health care from the government? Only in that I’ve paid taxes in every job I’ve worked to support the programs that helped us out during that year in between calls. Am I proud to have had to go apply for food stamps? No, but now I know how to do it so that I can help a parishioner in that situation. Do I enjoy having a son on Medi-Cal? Given that they’re paying what insurance doesn’t cover, I’m happy that he qualifies by virtue of receiving SSI for disabilities. (Filing for SSI is another level of hell that I’ll save for another time.) I have a million dollar baby — literally — and his medical bills are 5-6 figures. Having to figure out how to cover those on our own would mean filing for bankruptcy… for something that wasn’t our fault. To protect parents in our situation, the SSA and various state agencies have programs to help out.<\/p>\n What I think people don’t realize is that to qualify for these services, you need to meet really strict criteria and it’s not incredibly easy to do. I have “my manilla envelope of fun” with all the stuff needed to apply for these things because it is so much easier than having to dig through file folders to get it. Both Jon and I have been fingerprinted as part of the food stamps process and they require proof of income every 3 months and you are kicked off if your income level disqualifies you. I hardly think that it breeds entitlement.<\/p>\n For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Unless you happen to live under a rock, you’ve probably heard about Mitt’s “47%” gaffe. I am a member of that 47% so… I figured that as I’ve not hit my political snark quota this year due to promising not … Continue reading