{"id":436,"date":"2003-07-29T20:46:39","date_gmt":"2003-07-30T01:46:39","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=436"},"modified":"2007-04-06T17:15:43","modified_gmt":"2007-04-07T00:15:43","slug":"something-i-need-to-vent-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/?p=436","title":{"rendered":"Something I Need To Vent On…"},"content":{"rendered":"

LA Times: A Pastor Accused, a Congregation Torn<\/a><\/p>\n

**I actually created a new category for this post called Personal Issues<\/a> because I couldn’t fit it succinctly in just one of the other categories. I’m also quoting a large portion of this article. For my thoughts on it, click on the (more…) at the bottom of the entry.**<\/p>\n

I was reading the Christianity Today weblog<\/a> tonight while Jon was in a Youth Committee meeting and came across this story. Apparently…<\/p>\n

Church members contend that Hall, 51, has made jokes about oral sex in front of women and has given unwanted hugs to some congregants, and that five years ago he played a sophomoric prank on a female education minister.<\/a><\/p>\n

Bishop Dean Nelson, who heads the Southwest California Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, asked Hall to resign in June. Hall refused. And, under the denomination’s rules, there isn’t much church leaders can do about it.<\/a><\/p>\n

Leaving “may be an easy thing to do, but for the healing of the church I want to be there,” said Hall, who has been pastor at Trinity for nine years. “I don’t think it ever helps to run away from situations.”<\/a><\/p>\n

That stand has left the congregation divided. Some members say they will leave if Hall stays. Others say they will leave if he leaves.<\/a><\/p>\n

…<\/a><\/p>\n

Hall said he regretted making remarks with sexual innuendo and hugging female parishioners who felt uncomfortable with such actions. He acknowledged behaving inappropriately when he gave a “wedgie,” a sharp tug on the waistband, to the former education minister, according to a report from the Oakland-based Center for Ministry, an interdenominational organization that provides training and counseling for evangelical pastors.<\/a><\/p>\n

…<\/a><\/p>\n

In April, Nelson asked the church to grant Hall a three-month paid leave of absence while the accusations were investigated. When the bishop asked congregants to comment about Hall, some women such as Cherry felt they could finally share their concerns about his behavior.<\/a><\/p>\n

Typical of being an abuse victim is you think you’re the only one,” Cherry said of why she didn’t come forward sooner. ” ‘Who would believe me?’ I told the bishop.”<\/a><\/p>\n

When Nelson told the congregation about the sexual harassment claims, many did not believe them.<\/a><\/p>\n

…<\/a><\/p>\n

Cherry, one of a dozen congregants who shared information with Nelson, said she believed the church council listened too passively to her and other women’s grievances.<\/a><\/p>\n

“I’m assuming since they’re not asking me about my story that they don’t care,” said Cherry, who has since left the church. “To me it seems like a done deal, so those of us who have been damaged \u00ef?? well, I’ll have to find a new home for my faith.”<\/a><\/p>\n

Despite complaints such as Cherry’s, the council has decided for now to keep Hall as head pastor, provided he undergoes additional training and counseling. Nelson invited him to another hearing with the synod Monday to address the allegations and other concerns about his leadership. Kelley told the bishop that his client would not attend the hearing.<\/a><\/p>\n

Earlier this month, Hall, who grew up the son of medical missionaries in South Africa, choked back tears as he preached to the congregation for the first time in three months.<\/a><\/p>\n

“I deeply regret and apologize for any insensitivity I’ve had, for any actions that may have hurt anyone,” he said. “These past few months have been a jail for me.” <\/a><\/p>\n

  • This is the kind of thing that is really a black eye for Christianity, let alone my denomination (ELCA<\/a>) because any behavior of a pastor or Christian person in the public eye reflects on the other 150+ million of us in the world in the eyes of non-believers. My denomination has already had one sexual misconduct trial this year (pastor in Texas abused a bunch of kids and is now serving 499 years in prison) and we really didn’t need another one, especially since there’s a huge lawsuit pending from the other one. (The pastor from the Texas case gradauted from my seminary so we’re on the list of defendants and if it settles, it could be very devestating for the seminary.)<\/li>\n
  • This person is a pastor. Pastors are held to a high code of conduct by virtue of their profession and also agree to abide by such a moral code at ordination. We also have the double standard that we are somehow better than the average joe because of our work. In addition, ELCA<\/a> clergy are required to undergo training in sexual boundaries which includes appropriate contact, appropriate language, and basically how to keep one’s boundaries. (I know this because we had a unit on it during our first quarter of seminary which is pretty much required by the church’s insurance companies.) I *KNOW* Pastor Hall went through such training because I know (and am related to) pastors in that synod. (Jon’s family is pretty much a dynasty out there. Extrapolate as you will.) He should have known not to make oral sex comments in the presence of his parishoners, let alone in front of female<\/em> parishoners.<\/li>\n
  • I really wonder why he went out and got an attorney if he’s so innocent in this situation. Correct or not, hiring an attorney kind of put the nail in the coffin as far as his guilt was concerned. There’s also the fact that he has defied his bishop and is refusing to leave a congregation that his actions have divided. It’s an accepted standard that if you are the cause of division in a congregation, that you leave so as to remove the source of division from the congregation and let it heal. In addition, he should be accountable for his actions and in being accountable, he should step down and face the consequences.<\/li>\n

    <\/p>\n

    On a more personal level (which is why this falls under personal issues), this article (and the events it describes) distresses me because I feel very much for the women who are claiming to have been sexually harassed. I was sexually harassed in high school and I remember<\/u> being terrified about coming forward and admitting that I was being harassed. As someone said in the article, “typical of being an abuse victim is you think you’re the only one … who would believe me?” My harassers friends made my life a living hell at school after I went to the administration about what was going on and my harasser’s father reamed the school for suspending his son “who had done nothing wrong”.<\/p>\n

    If my situation was awful in a school setting, imagine it being in a church setting where the harasser has quite a bit of traditional and charismatic authority. Would you really want to be part of a church where the pastor made oral sex jokes in your presence, gave you unwanted hugs (it counts as inappropriate touch — trust me on this), and played immature pranks on the church staff? I would hope not because that isn’t the kind of atmosphere that breeds community or lends itself to worship. Would I really want to be a spiritual setting where I was made to feel uncomfortable?<\/p>\n

    It distresses me to no end that when these women reported the harassment, they were brushed off or accused of spreading rumors because they hated the pastor. I know that some women have made up lies to spite people (it’s happened to guyfriends of mine); but the majority of the time, the complaints are very much legit and the women are shamed into silence. Such behavior would not be tolerated in corporate culture, so why is it tolerated in the Church? Aren’t we supposed to be different from the world and shouldn’t that difference be reflected in the way we treat people? Shouldn’t we aim for the ideal that society is like the Church, not the Church like society? This means that society’s crude attempt at humor should not have any place in the walls of the church, especially not coming out of the mouth of someone called to serve the needs of the church.<\/p>\n

    Probably the most distressing part of it is that Bishop Nelson asked Pastor Hall to resign. Apparently, this is the first time in Bishop Nelson’s tenure that such a request has been denied. Pastor Hall claims that he wants to stay and help heal the church. And this healing is going to happen how? Yes, he apologized in front of the congregation but that doesn’t cut it. An apology is not going to magically make the embarassment of these women disappear or excuse what he did. As I said before, his actions have consequences and one of them is that his church is now divided. it sickens me that people would follow him to wherever he went next — it’s a sign of a personality cult which is never a good thing in a pastor.<\/p>\n

    Actually… I was wrong. The thing that distresses me most is that I got denied candidacy because of the PTSD and depression caused by the sexual harassment that I had to endure in high school while Pastor Hall is able to keep his job and even has supporters. Hello? Sexual harassment is mental rape. It’s not mere words and it sure as heck isn’t innocent as far as the actions. Some people hate being hugged and hugging them without their permission is violating their space and their right to decide what appropriate touch is for them. Pastor Hall *should* resign — I mean, it’s the ethical thing to do and it would be the appropriate move to help his congregation heal… if he actually cares about that. His reputation is going to be shot no matter what and it would probably be better for him to protect what shred of dignity he has, rather than be dragged out kicking and screaming.<\/p>\n

    OK… it’s 2:45 here and my cats are simultaneously rebuking me for not being in bed. G’night all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    LA Times: A Pastor Accused, a Congregation Torn **I actually created a new category for this post called Personal Issues because I couldn’t fit it succinctly in just one of the other categories. I’m also quoting a large portion of … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-issues"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p38xoO-72","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=436"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}