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<\/center><\/p>\nIt’s been over two years since I posted this<\/a>. I got word yesterday afternoon that the settlement officer had signed and approved my papers, terminating my marriage. As I’m processing all of this, I thought I’d share some wisdom on how to help and support people in my position.<\/p>\n <\/a>— 1 —<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Recognize that you don’t know the whole story.<\/strong> Unless you spend every minute with your loved one and their partner, you don’t know what happened in their relationship, what problems existed, and what they’ve hidden from the world. Yes, it might be surprising to you that they’re divorcing, but keep that to yourself.<\/p>\n <\/a>— 2 —<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Realize that they do not owe you an explanation nor do they owe you a reporting of every single thing that happens in the legal proceedings.<\/strong> As much as you might want one, your loved one does not owe an explanation to anyone but their partner and God. Prying will get you put on an info diet.<\/p>\n <\/a>— 3 —<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Don’t judge them.<\/strong> This goes back to #1. You don’t know what happened, so you don’t get to tell them that they’re a horrible person for filing for divorce or that they are irreparably damaging their children. For all you know, their partner could have been verbally\/emotionally abusive or could have been cheating on them for years.<\/p>\n The winner for the dumbest thing I heard:<\/strong> that I was committing adultery by divorcing Jon.<\/p>\n