T’is the season for me to become Scrooge-like as I’m being accosted with bad versions of Christmas carols and winter songs any time I leave the house. To deal with this, I decided to lay down some snark. So… here are 7 things that I wish people would stop saying to me.
*pointing at Daniel who is berzerking* “He has a lot of energy.” What was your first clue? That he runs everywhere instead of walking? That it’s only 11 a.m. and I’m already looking tired? That my pants are falling off because I’ve lost so much weight from chasing him?
(referring to my depression) “You should think happy thoughts and maybe you wouldn’t be so depressed.” Seriously, if that would make my depression go away, DON’T YOU THINK I’D BE DOING IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Now please go away while I retreat further into myself and curl up in a fetal position with the covers over my head.
“I heard your father-in-law has cancer. I saw something/read something/heard about this person who had cancer and was cured by [insert snake oil remedy].” No… just no. We believe in this amazing thing called “scientific research” which has *proven* ways to fight the cancer. By the way, those peach pits you were suggesting I give him? They’re full of cyanide. Just thought you should know!
“I heard that autism can be cured by a gluten-free diet. Maybe you should try that with Daniel.” Yeah, no. I already have a kid who is usually underweight and is in a picky eating phase. Trying the GAPS diet isn’t an option unless you’d like to come and cook for us because there aren’t enough hours in the day to take care of Daniel and mastermind what happens when.
There’s also the fact that every nutritionist I’ve talked to has rolled their eyes at the idea of being on a gluten-free diet if you aren’t sensitive to gluten or suffering from celiac disease.
“Have you tried [insert some homeopathic cure like essential oils] for your fibromyalgia? My neighbor’s cousin’s college roommate’s niece was cured from her fibromyalgia when she tried [insert homeopathic quackery].” *sighs* Why are you still here? You are not helping. Seriously, my Old Testament professor from seminary claims her fibro was cured by body talk and she has become a practitioner of it. I think it’s all just quackery.
*upon seeing my raccoonish eyes* “You need to take care of yourself.” OK… so would you like to drive me to the local nail place and babysit my kid so I can have a mani-pedi and some reading time? Please and thank you!
A prayer request. Mary Lenaburg of Passionate Perseverance and her family are dealing with the impending loss of their daughter Courtney. Please keep them in prayer as they’re trying to let go while being present with her in her last days.
For more Quick Takes, visit Kelly at This Ain’t The Lyceum.