{"id":5166,"date":"2013-04-24T21:42:35","date_gmt":"2013-04-25T04:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/?p=5166"},"modified":"2013-04-24T21:44:56","modified_gmt":"2013-04-25T04:44:56","slug":"five-favorites-stupid-things-people-say-when-i-tell-them-that-im-a-pastors-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/?p=5166","title":{"rendered":"Five Favorites: Stupid Things People Say When I Tell Them That I&#8217;m A Pastor&#8217;s Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/grace-filled.net\/fivefavorites.jpg\" alt=\"Five Favorites\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<p>If you didn&#8217;t know, I&#8217;m married to a Lutheran pastor.  Most people either know this or smile and nod politely but it causes some people to say some pretty *interesting* things.  Here are the five most interesting ones that I remember, three that are reactions to hearing that I&#8217;m a pastor&#8217;s wife and two that are stupid things people have said because of who I am.<\/p>\n<p><center><strong>One<\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;So this means you can have sex, right?&#8221;<\/strong>  This was said to me at 2003 at a visitation for a parishioner who had passed away by a co-worker of the parishioner&#8217;s son.  I was standing in the funeral home next to the church in some fairly conservative clothes with my husband and his internship supervisor next to me.  My response: &#8220;I really hope so.&#8221;  The person walked away and I remember seeing my husband&#8217;s internship supervisor&#8217;s face turning an interesting shade of purple and his eyes almost popping out of his head.  Apparently, this was one of the more interesting things he had encountered at a funeral visitation.<\/p>\n<p><center><strong>Two<\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;Does this mean that you&#8217;re a nun?&#8221;<\/strong>  This was said to me by a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elca.org\" title=\"ELCA\">Lutheran<\/a> kid at a <a href=\"http:\/\/elca.org\" title=\"ELCA\">Lutheran<\/a> church <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flbc.net\/\" title=\"Flathead Lutheran Bible Camp\">camp<\/a>.  (I point out that it was a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elca.org\" title=\"ELCA\">Lutheran<\/a> setting because our clergy are almost always married.)  Apparently, he really hasn&#8217;t paid attention in church because I knew his pastor and said pastor is very much married with kids who are my age!<\/p>\n<p><center><strong>Three<\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;But you don&#8217;t look like a pastor&#8217;s wife!&#8221;<\/strong>  One of my former co-workers said this during my second week of work when I came to work wearing my &#8220;Pastor&#8217;s wife of an LQPV Eagle&#8221; sweatshirt.  (LQPV is the local high school in the area where my husband served his first parish.)  Apparently, I&#8217;m supposed to be old and wear long dresses or denim jumpers or something??? I mean&#8230; I did the long dresses and skirts but apparently I don&#8217;t fit the stereotypes otherwise?<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s now just go into stupid things people have said to me <em><strong>because<\/strong><\/em> I was the pastor&#8217;s wife.<\/p>\n<p><center><strong>Four<\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;You&#8217;re a pastor&#8217;s wife!  You&#8217;re supposed to be holy and doing the work of God&#8217;s church!&#8221;<\/strong>  This was said to me by a 90something parishioner in Minnesota when I told him that he couldn&#8217;t just walk into our parsonage unannounced.  It had been a week since I had undergone a laproscopic cholecystectomy (&#8220;lap chole&#8221; for short &#8212; gallbladder removal) and I was walking around the upper floor of our parsonage in my sports bra and running shorts, so I was a bit panicked when the front door suddenly opened and I heard someone calling out, &#8220;Pastor?!?  Mrs. Pastor?!?&#8221;  Thankfully, one of our elders was nice enough to go talk to him and explain politely why this wasn&#8217;t allowed.  He was more amenable to him explaining it than the 25 year old pastor&#8217;s wife. <\/p>\n<p><center><strong>Five<\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;You&#8217;re a pastor&#8217;s wife.  You can&#8217;t drink alcohol if you&#8217;re out at a restaurant.&#8221;<\/strong>  This was said to me by one of my &#8220;special&#8221; people in Montana who decided that she needed to lecture me about my appearance and my reputation when she saw me out shopping in sweats.  What she didn&#8217;t know: I never drank alcohol around parishioners and I hadn&#8217;t had a drink in probably&#8230; over a year at that point because my liver had a death wish and they had to scrape scar tissue off of it when I had my lap chole.  (I&#8217;m also the world&#8217;s cheapest drunk so it wasn&#8217;t a stretch to give up drinking.)  She felt that she had a duty to lecture me about my reputation and standing as a pastor&#8217;s wife which meant that she would criticize everything I did, regardless of whether or not everyone else approved of me.<\/p>\n<p>Go love up <a href=\"http:\/\/moxiewife.com\" title=\"Hallie\">Hallie<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/moxiewife.com\/2013\/04\/five-favorites-vol-9\/.html\" title=\"Five Favorites (vol. 9)\">the others<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you didn&#8217;t know, I&#8217;m married to a Lutheran pastor. Most people either know this or smile and nod politely but it causes some people to say some pretty *interesting* things. Here are the five most interesting ones that I &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/?p=5166\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,2,30,7,14,27,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-life","category-faith","category-life-in-big-sky-country","category-memes-and-link-ups","category-ministry","category-minnesota-life","category-personal-issues"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p38xoO-1lk","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5166"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5166\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5173,"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5166\/revisions\/5173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grace-filled.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}