Author Archives: Jen

About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.

52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose: If I Could Turn Back Time…

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This week’s topic: if I could turn back time…

I try to live my life without regrets but there are things in my past that I wish I could do over.

If I could turn back time, I would make sure Daniel got the high-risk screening in Montana. Granted, our lives were in such chaos at the time that it would have been ONE MORE THING but it would have let us know that there was a problem before we reached southern California and had to figure out how to get him help.

If I could turn back time, I would not have compared Daniel to every other child I encountered. Doing all the comparing just made me feel like the worst mommy ever… and for things that weren’t my fault.

If I could turn back time, I would not have been so jealous of moms with normally-developing kids. This has been another source of stress in my life and it’s one that kept me from appreciating Daniel as much as I should have. I’m not going to lie — it is hard having a kid with special needs — but it is ten times cooler when he hits those milestones.

If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have procrastinated as much in high school. I did get good grades but they could have been better if I hadn’t put things off until the last minute.

If I could turn back time, I would have gone with my strengths in college and double majored in History and Linguistics. I’m glad I had all the Biology and Chemistry but my college GPA would have been better if I had gone with history classes and language classes, areas where I excel.

If I could turn back time, I would have learned NFP before I got married. The Pill had some negative effects on me and other forms of contraception don’t appeal to me. I wish I would have learned how to read my body to know what my fertile signs were so that I wasn’t in the dark about how my body works.

If I could turn back time, I would tell myself not to sweat the fact that I was never invited to Homecoming because it was overrated and I had better times at the formals in college. It really depressed me in my junior and senior years not to be invited and I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me. The answer: nothing. The really awesome guys who I hoped would ask me all turned out to be gay. Yeah… didn’t see that one coming.

If I could turn back time, I would take better care of myself. I’m having to drop a chunk of weight and am finding that doing so is a catch-22. My fibromyalgia is better with exercise… but the exhaustion makes it hard to exercise. I really need to find something I like doing and stick to it.

If I could turn back time, I would ignore the lies I was being told by Satan that any church I attended would give me crap because my parents weren’t there. I was thoroughly welcomed when I *did* start attending church and they were fine with the fact that I attended by myself.

Now go see Becky and what everyone else would do if they could turn back time.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: July 29, 2013

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY July 29, 2013

Outside my window… sunny and cool for this time of year — only in the 80’s.

I am thinking… that naps are wasted on cats and on the young.

I am thankful… for access to good medical care.

In the kitchen… chicken marinating.

I am wearing… green “Online Debate Team” t-shirt and black running shorts.

I am creating… blog entries and devotions.

I am going… to have a crazy day on Friday with parent training for Daniel’s ABA therapy, a doctor’s appointment, and a massage.

I am wondering… if Daniel will nap today as he’ll have had school plus 3 hours of ABA therapy.

I am reading… Going Going Ganache by Jenn McKinlay. I still have Apologia pro vita sua on my NOOK but I needed something light for a little bit.

I am hoping… for a quiet night.

I am looking forward to… my nail appointment on Wednesday.

Around the house… got vacuuming done today.

I am pondering… too many things internally.

A favorite quote for today… ??You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth of falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it??? ? C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

One of my favorite things… quiet. I don’t have it at the moment and probably won’t have it until Daniel goes to bed unless he decides to nap after therapy today.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Morning Prayer tomorrow with Anne, mani/pedi on Wednesday morning (I feel like a yuppie suburban mom), and my crazy insane Friday of activities. Daniel also has therapy today, Wednesday, and Friday.

A peek into my day… Sharing the video of Matt Maher at World Youth Day again. What can I say? It’s powerful.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

Am I This Passionate About My Faith?

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It was unfortunately a typical Sunday for me — no church because either Daniel or I was sick (in this case, me) so I did the Sunday readings on my own. I was reading through my Facebook this morning and my friend Kate had posted this video.

It’s Matt Maher singing “Lord, I Need You” at World Youth Day during Eucharistic Adoration and it almost brought me to tears to see. (I think if I wasn’t so tired, it would have induced tears.) For one thing, you’ve got 3 million young people kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament and praying. For another, Maher himself is kneeling as he’s playing which shows that he gets the gravity of what he’s singing.

It brings to mind the question of whether I’m this passionate about my faith. I do actually have an excuse for missing church this Sunday (still getting over bronchitis) but for the last few years, I will admit that I’ve had a lot of Sundays sitting in church and wanting to be anywhere else but there… regardless of what church I am in. It has nothing to do with Jon’s previous parishes and synods throwing us under the bus and it doesn’t mean that I hate Jon’s preaching or that I don’t support his ministry. It isn’t a crisis of faith — I’m passionate in my love for God and in my belief in Jesus Christ. There is still something that just isn’t right and seeing this video is showing me that I’m missing something.

Word from Kaia’s Country

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If you look over at my sidebar, you’ll see a beautiful little girl named Kaia. She is an orphan and her adoptive family just traveled to meet her for the first time. I didn’t know if I’d hear from her adoptive mom so I was really happy to get the following email today:

We met her yesterday & had our 2nd visit today. She is wonderful. She is so sweet & smart. Even after our second visit she started picking up on a few English words! She has a speech delay, so we may have to get some therapy for that. The level of Hep C has become lower in the past couple of years. She already considers our son as her brother & has called us mama & papa a couple of times. We cannot wait to get her home!!!

Woohooooo!!!!

Things I’ve Learned from VBS

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Jon is teaching VBS tomorrow/today (I forgot to write something for Friday and it’s still Friday in Alaska and Hawaii so cut me some slack!) so I decided to share the things I’ve learned from teaching and helping with VBS in the last few years.

-Froot Loops stick to your ears if you lick them.

-Never ask kids if they have questions. It never ends well.

-The batteries in your digital camera will die the second you need to take a series of pictures for the end of day Powerpoint display.

-Singing silly songs is a lovely way to deal with your grief after sitting with a family whose member has just died.

-You can recall a huge amount of Scripture if it has been part of a silly song.

-There is nothing like chicken-dancing after having a tough day at work.

7 Quick Takes: Writing These Took a Herculean Effort

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

Serious cuteness. When Jon was about to pull into the driveway this evening, Daniel rushed to the window to watch and started singing “da da da da da” to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. As Jon walked around the house to get the garbage cans to put out, Daniel followed him around the bank of windows and then rushed to the door when Jon started unlocking it. When Jon came in, Daniel took his hands and started bouncing. It was totally fun to watch.

— 2 —

Orphans. Do you see these three adorable children?

First row: Brett and Iris.
Second row: Kaia.

BrettIrisKaia

Brett still needs a mama. Iris finally has a family committed to her. Kaia has a family committed to her who will be traveling to her country and will meet her tomorrow! Click on their names to see their Reece’s Rainbow pages.

— 3 —

Not good for me to find. Did you know that HuffPo has a Cats section???? A page full of cat stories!!! Can we say “massive time waster for Jen”???

— 4 —

I might be getting a little verklempt… Thank you to Beth Anne who shared this with me on Twitter. The ones involving cats are lovely but they’re all good and may cause a little water to leak out of your eyes.

— 5 —

Real life. So my chest cold *did* turn into bronchitis and by Sunday, I was sick enough that my parents were terrified of letting me drive home by myself. On Monday, I went to the clinic where my FNP wrote me a script for antibiotics and an inhaler as well as giving me the option of also having a Rocephen shot. I took her up on it (mostly because my life would suck immeasurably more if Daniel got this) and of course, the shot *would* have to be given in my rear end. (It’s probably good that I was too sick to reflect on this at the time because I think prudish me would have been blushing and hugely embarrassed as it was the male student nurse giving it.) I was also too tired and sick to think of curse words to say (the shot hurt like Hades) and was instead going through the Jesus prayer to try and keep myself calm. The injection site is still sore a few days later but the shot was a good thing — I turned a corner within 24 hours and am almost back to normal today.

— 6 —

Some good news. Thomas of Fuller Life (formerly known as “Strong Catholic”, “Identified Catholic”, and “Listening for the Shepherd”) has some BIG NEWS. He’s been a little vocal about it all week and I’ve been mocking him mercilessly so I figured I’d give him some link love as a way of making it up to him. I’m also under orders to pounce on his naysayers like a “mama lion” (or is it “friend lion”?) so please go give him some congrats and please don’t make me screw up my gel nails.

— 7 —

With Simcha on this one… Apparently, there has been some grumping in the Catholic blogosphere (where I hang out because there aren’t any Lutheran bloggers like me) about the confessionals at World Youth Day in Rio because they aren’t “pretty”. Simcha Fisher takes them to task and I’m with her on this one — yes, they aren’t as aesthetically pleasing as Gothic cathedral but seriously… THAT’S NOT THEIR PURPOSE!!! I’d personally rather see hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of young people having the opportunity to engage their faith and seek forgiveness for their sins than something that may be aesthetically-pleasing but not functional.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

11 Things Meme Reloaded

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I’m redoing this meme in order to have something fresh for the 7 Posts in 7 Days challenge over at ConversionDiary.Com. The one I did last year is here. I was tagged by Ann of House of Estrogen.

Rules
1.) The first rule is to post these rules.
2.) Post a photo of yourself then write 11 things about you/your life.
3.) Answer the questions for you set in the original post.
4.) Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5.) Go to their blog/twitter to tell them you have tagged them.

OK… so let me find a picture I like.

Daniel and I.

OK… 11 things about me

01.) I’m a fraternal twin. My brother Sean (usually referred to as “the evil twin” on here) is 6 minutes older and 9 inches taller.
02.) I unashamedly sing along to whatever is on the radio when I’m in the car.
03.) I have kissed the Blarney Stone when I was in Ireland with my family in 1998. I don’t recommend doing it if you’re afraid of heights.
04.) I hate cooked vegetables. I love them raw though.
05.) I don’t have a smartphone. Reception inside the house is iffy at best and I’m not out of the house enough to justify a data plan. I live off my laptop instead.
06.) If I’m sitting anywhere (including traffic), I have a habit of twirling my hair.
07.) I love being in the water. I joke that I’m part fish.
08.) I’m an IXFJ. My N and S are almost exactly on the line and flip every time I take the test.
09.) I collect Celtic crosses.
10.) I love things to be organized but HATE cleaning.
11.) I can’t stand having long fingernails.

OK… my questions to answer!

1.) What is your favorite movie? It varies. I like the classic Disney cartoons like ??The Aristocats?? and ??The Sword and the Stone?? as well as ??Forrest Gump??, ??The Birdcage??, ??The Spitfire Grill??, ??Whale Rider??, and ??Saved??. (Same answer as last year because I’m not a movie person.)

2.) If you could go back and give your 16 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Hang in there. Life gets so much better when you hit college.

3.) Why do you blog? It’s cheaper than therapy and has allowed me to meet so many interesting people.

4.) What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing that? At different times, I wanted to be a princess, a lawyer, or a doctor. I’m currently a stay-at-home-mom and cat slave, so I’m definitely not doing that. The jobs I’ve had that I’ve loved have been working as a library assistant in seminary and working as an admin assistant for an import brokerage.

5.) M&M’s – plain or peanut? Mint.

6.) What was your first car? 1984 Volvo 240 GL.

7.) What is your favorite Halloween costume you’ve ever worn? My cat ears and tail from 2007 and 2008. My father-in-law actually wore my ears at his Ph.D hooding ceremony in 2008.

8.) What are your favorite blogs to read? Personal ones. The bloggers vary from Canadian pastors to Mormon housewives to authors like Rachel Held Evans.

9.) If you were to have a boy and a girl tomorrow, what would you name them? Aidan Michael and Hannah Grace. (Same answers as last year.)

10.) What was your favorite class in college? My advisor’s classes (European religious history and the cult of the saints) and “Making of the Modern Middle East”.

11.) What celebrity do you think it would be fun to be friends with? Still going with Pauley Perrette (“Abby Sciuto” on NCIS). She’s in her 40’s but can pull off the goth look so well. She’s also very much like her character on NCIS in her real life temperment — at least from what I’ve gleaned from interviews on TV.

OK… now my questions!

01.) What food would you never eat even if you were paid to eat it?
02.) What is your favorite Bible verse or quote?
03.) Should jello at church be in the proper liturgical color?
04.) What was your high school or college mascot?
05.) What do you wish you could do?
06.) What book should everyone read?
07.) What is the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?
08.) Pretend I magically arrived on your doorstep. How would we spend your ideal day?
09.) Manicure or pedicure? (Thomas, you might want to consult Alison on this one!)
10.) What is the best type of ethnic food (i.e. Italian, Japanese, Indonesian)?
11.) Grey or orange tabby cats?

Now for the tagging!

Beth Anne @ Beth Anne’s Best because she didn’t do it last year when I tagged her.

Thomas @ Fuller Life so he can have some interesting post topics for the 7 Posts in 7 Days challenge. (I also just totally want to see his answer on the manicure/pedicure question.)