Author Archives: Jen

About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.

What I’ve Learned This Lent

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This would have been up sooner but I spent much of yesterday evening in the Pediatric ER at UCD Medical Center with Daniel after he suffered a febrile seizure. (Translation: he spiked a fever really quickly and it triggered a seizure.) I was telling the paramedics that it was ironic that I was in an ambulance because I’d been in one three years earlier when they were having to transfer me to Great Falls to have my emergency c-section.

So… this is what I’ve learned this Lent:

[+] My taste in worship music is not strictly Protestant. It might be that I have more Catholic readers than Protestant these days but a lot of my Catholic friends liked my favorite hymns and worship songs or had some interesting commentary on them. I shouldn’t be surprised because some of those hymns are pretty universal but some of it did surprise me in a good way.

[+] I really need to get a subscription to Sojourners magazine. I could seriously write pages of commentary on every article that appears on my Facebook wall or in my email. It’s wonderful to find like-minded people and a like-minded publication because I seem to defy all labels as to what kind of Christian I am.

[+] I get by with a little help from my friends. It’s been a Lent full of humbling myself and asking people to pray for me when I knew I was going to be dealing with some really hard things. In exchange, I’ve prayed for other friends when they’ve expressed the need for prayer. It’s been a blessing to pray for others and to receive their prayers which isn’t surprising but still an awesome thing.

[+] I am seriously a broken person. I struggle with jealousy, anger, pride, and trust issues when it comes to my relationship with God. Some of this was blogged out and other things were dealt with over Twitter or on Facebook. None of this is surprising — I wouldn’t be utterly dependent on the Cross if I had the capacity to be perfect.

[+] There is more worship music out there on YouTube than I thought. I had no idea that my favorite Communion hymn was out there or that a lot of my other favorite songs had multiple videos. Such an awesome discovery.

[+] I learned a lot about my faith and how far I’ve come. I don’t think I could have dealt with Daniel’s seizure yesterday if I hadn’t dealt with his traumatic birth and the hospital stay last year. Yes, I was sobbing when the paramedics arrived and when they were loading us into the ambulance. However, I persevered and Daniel is OK.

[+] I learned how completely awesome Tim Hawkins is. Christians need to learn how to laugh at each other and how to laugh at ourselves. Tim does a great job with that.

I’ll post something for Easter Sunday tomorrow but I wanted to do kind of a review here on Holy Saturday.

Good Friday

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I love Good Friday because all the music is 16th and 17th century stuff and I love Baroque. These are my favorite Good Friday hymns. The first one is “Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted” which isn’t old but I love the Spanish-influenced guitar and the way Fernando Ortega does it. The second one is “O Sacred Head Now Wounded” (also known as “O Sacred Head Surrounded”) done by Fernando Ortega, chosen because I love the way he sets it. The last one is “Ah Holy Jesus” and I love the way they set it (no idea who is recording it) as well as the harmonies.

One More Hymn for Maundy Thursday

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I was SERIOUSLY jazzed to find my favorite Communion hymn on YouTube.

The words:

Now we join in celebration
At the Savior’s invitation,
Dressed no more in spirit somber,
Clothed instead in joy and wonder;
For the Lord of all existence,
Putting off divine transcendence,
Stoops again in love to meet us,
With his very life to feed us.

Lord, as round this feat we gather,
Fill our hearts with holy rapture!
For this bread and cup of blessing
Are for us the sure posessing
Of your loving deed on Calv’ry,
Of your living self, our vict’ry,
Pledge of your unfailing presence,
Foretaste here of heav’nly gladness.

Lord, we share in this communion
As one fam’ly of God’s children,
Reconciled through you, our brother,
One in you with God our Father.
Give us grace to live for others,
Serving all, both friends and strangers,
Seeking justice, love, and mercy
Till you come in final glory.
–LBW 203

The music:

Maundy Thursday Music

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For those wondering, I managed to get through my phone call to Social Security without swearing at them… at least over the phone. I was not having charitable thoughts. I’ll take this up the next time I do confession.

Today is Maundy Thursday (at least that’s what the Anglicans and Lutherans call it) with Maundy coming from the Latin word “mandatum”. If you read the story in John 12-14, you see Jesus commanding his apostles to wash each other’s feet, eating the bread and drinking the wine in His memory, and to love each other.

I could probably attempt to write a treatise on the Eucharist and how it’s an example of anamnesis but I don’t feel called to do that. I have the theological knowledge and the Greek knowledge but it’s late and forced recall is not a strong suit when I’m tired. Instead, I’m posting two YouTube videos.

First Youtube video: “How Beautiful” by Twila Paris with scenes from “The Passion of the Christ”. I first heard this song 10 years ago when the church I was attending based their midweek Lent sermons around it. It’s beautiful and somewhat ironic that it’s used for weddings and for Holy Week.

The second video is of the song “The Summons” which came out of the Iona community. I sang it 15 years ago and it embedded itself in my brain. The reason I include it is the repetition of “will you _______ and never be the same?” I know for me that my life has never been the same since I came to faith and if it was the same, I would wonder what was going wrong. Living out our faith changes us and I fully believe that it prevents us from ever being the same as we were before knowing Jesus.

Lenten Worship Music (VII)

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During the two months that we were commuting to Great Falls in order to be with Daniel almost three years ago(!), I managed to patch into a KLOVE signal bouncing off one of the buttes and “God of This City” by the Northern Ireland band Bluetree was one of the songs that was popular during that time. It gets its name from the mission trip the band took to Pattaya, Thailand and the deplorable conditions they found there. They launched a charity called Stand Out International in 2009 to rescue kids out of the sex industry, probably based on what they saw there.

When I was driving home from PT with Daniel yesterday, this song was playing on KLOVE and I decided to feature it. Here are the lyrics:

You’re God of this city, You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation, You are
You’re the light in this darkness, You’re the hope to the hopeless
You’re the peace to the restless, You are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like You God

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

You’re the Lord of creation, the creator of all things
You’re the King above all kings, You are
You’re the strength in the weakness, You are love to the broken
You’re the joy in the sadness, You are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like You God

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for You and love for You in this city

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Yes, there is no one like You God
There is no one like You God

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for You and love for You in this city

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here
Still to be done here, still to be done here
Still to be done here
(HT: SongLyrics.Com)

I love it because it’s hopeful and if it was inspired by the squalor of that city in Thailand, there’s a definite need for hope. I can also so see it being used for various “city clean-up” ministry things in the States with no knowledge of why it was written. The irony of that is that the band is based in Belfast and there is a definite need for hope in that city, especially in the ghetto areas where the paramilitary action can be prevalent.

Here’s the song:

Getting By With Help

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One of the jobs that is tough with having a special needs child is dealing with the Social Security Administration regarding your child’s SSI. My local one is incompetent at best and in March, they messed up Daniel’s SSI amount because the person reviewing the file decided to skip a page of what makes him eligible. When I called them and told them to FIX IT, they told me to return the check and they’d send out a corrected one. I complied and got a letter from them yesterday saying that Daniel’s SSI was suspended until I called my local office because his March check had been returned to the US Treasury… by the local office. Ready to punch a wall yet? Making things “better”, I got the letter 15 minutes after the office closed which means that I get to deal with it today. Oh flipping joy.

Knowing the incredible temptation to use four-lettered words and the creative curses that could spring out of my mouth, I tweeted and Facebook-messaged a few friends to pray for my mouth tomorrow that in my anger I wouldn’t sin. I’m not saying that I won’t have had angry thoughts about the SSA but I’ll be less likely to use language that will rub off on Daniel in bad ways.

It was a lesson in the fact that I’m not alone on my “journey home” and that we aren’t meant to try and get through the world ourselves. We have the Holy Spirit and we also have each other. Without the help of Rich and Kate, I’d probably be in VERY deep trouble right now in terms of the state of my soul… or at least more trouble than I normally am as a broken person.