Author Archives: Jen

About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.

Reflections on Atheism (V)

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One sore subject that comes up in the dialogue between Christians and atheists is the idea that atheists have no morals. Let me make this very clear from the beginning:

BEING ATHEIST/AGNOSTIC/FREETHINKING DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE NO MORALS.

I want to be clear on that.

The difference, I think, is that Christianity has one sense of what is moral and what isn’t and we get really irritated when others don’t conform to it. Purity is a virtue which is why we frown on adultery, homosexuality, pre-marital sex, and pr0n. If I was judging atheists by those I knew in college or who I read online, this would be a bit questionable (i.e. Jen McCreight’s post on the Dan Savage pr0nfest in Seattle and her comments from the AHA gathering in Boston). However, I know that she isn’t representative of all atheists and she and I also would agree to disagree on that. (At least… I think she would.)

I think that there is a set of morals that all of us (believers and non-believers) can agree to:

-no cheating
-no murder
-no stealing
-no adultery
-fair wage for a day’s work
-help others who need it
-Golden Rule: do unto others as they would do to you

Having said that, there exists the question of atheists/agnostics not having a chance against Christians when running for office. I think I’ve addressed this before but I think it is unfair and that the Christian generally has the upper hand because they’re a known quantity (in theory) and they’re expected to uphold a certain moral standard. On the other hand, I really have a problem with those who run for school board elections that make their faith/philosophy into an agenda, be it Christians wanting to put God back in the schools or atheists who want to secularize things. I have no problem with secularization and evolution being taught in science classes — I have a problem with it when it is taken to an extreme.

This is kind of a lukewarm post based on my last ones but the issue of atheists having morals isn’t a hard one: they do — they just may differ from ours. Again, I’d love to have feedback on this.

7 Quick Takes Friday — 7 Mystery Authors I Discovered in the Last Year

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7 Quick Takes

I thought I’d share seven murder mystery authors I’ve discovered in the last year.

–1–

Leslie Meier: Writes about the adventures of Lucy Stone, a newspaper reporter in Tinker’s Cover, Maine.

–2–

Tamar Myers: Writes about the happenings of Magdalena Yoder, a Mennonite innkeeper in Hernia, Pennsylvania.

–3–

G.A. McKevett: Writes about the delightful private investigator Savannah Reid in San Carmelita, California. (She’s also a Facebook friend and interacts with her fans.)

–4–

Mary Daheim: Two series of note — one follows Judith Flynn (an innkeeper in Seattle) and the other follows Emma Lord (newspaper editor/owner in Alpine, Washington). The Judth Flynn ones (the Bed & Breakfast mysteries) are silly and the Emma Lord ones are a little more normal.

–5–

Denise Swanson: Writes about school psychologist Skye Denison in Scumble River, Illinois.

–6–

Livia J. Washburn: Writes the Fresh Baked mysteries about Phyllis Newsom and her housemates in Weatherford, Texas.

–7–

Katherine Hall Page: Writes about rector’s wife/caterer Faith Fairchild in Aleford, Massachusetts.

(For more of this, head to Conversion Diary.)

On Osama bin Laden’s Death (III)

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CNN.Com: Obama won’t release photos

I saw in the news story that 56% of the people in the CNN Opinion poll want the death photos released.

Ummm… no.

(By the way, the death photo that was on the cover of newspapers around the world is a fake.)

There is the question of what the release of the death photos would solve. The answer: nothing really at all. The U.S. has already identified him in a number of ways (DNA, biometrics, etc.) and the photos were taken for the purpose of proving all this to those who are in control (i.e. the President, Secretary of State, military officials). Releasing them isn’t going to bring back any one of the 9/11 victims, those killed in the bombings of the embassies, those killed the bombing of the barracks in Saudi Arabia, or any of the thousands whose blood is on the hands of bin Laden and his Al Qaeda operatives.

Conspiracy theorists aren’t going to believe them and would probably demand to see his body (which is at the bottom of the Arabian Sea) and releasing them would only serve to fan the flames of the anger of the jihadists who believe that America is the Great Satan. Do we really want to do this?

An added reason: the pictures of bin Laden are apparently pretty gruesome and not fit for publication in a newspaper. If the photos were released, who’s to say that someone wouldn’t plaster them on the front page of a paper?

I believe that we need to let this go. Osama is dead. He isn’t coming back and God willing, the documents and computers recovered at his compound are going to help the authorities stop Al Qaeda from doing anything else dastardly in the world.

How To Be A Perfect Pastor’s Wife

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My favorite Byzantine Catholic priest’s wife posted today on how to be a perfect priest’s wife. She mentioned me in her post so I thought I’d play off of what she said and add a few of my own thoughts.

Know that there is no such thing as “perfect”. You may be married to a man of God but both of you are still human, even if this thought completely SHOCKS your parishioners. Realizing this early on will help you preserve your sanity.

Make peace with the fact that your husband works over holidays. That wonderful image of the kids opening their presents on Christmas morning while the parents and extended family look on? Not going to happen unless you take your kids to be with your extended family and leave your husband to do Christmas morning worship on his own. (Not that I’ve done that… multiple times.) Advent/Christmas and Lent/Easter are insane and it means Wednesday services/soup suppers, special services for the Triduum, and generally not seeing your husband for about 4-6 weeks. My friend mentioned her husband possibly having to work on their anniversary — that was a Lenten soup supper/service this year for us. We STILL haven’t gone out though that’s more to do with Daniel flipping out if we leave him with a babysitter. You find ways to celebrate holidays at “alternate times”.

Find your niche. My friend did a great job on this one, mentioning that people get a little prickly if they think that you’re going to replace them. (OK… in my experience, people get A LOT prickly.) One thing I make VERY clear is that I may be the pastor’s wife but my view of my job is to enable others to do their jobs better and this means that I’m not going to be the WELCA president, Sunday school superintendent (even though I have part of a Masters degree in theology), or on council. (Being on council would be a MAJOR conflict of interest.) The job that I tend to find myself doing in every parish is sacristan/Altar Guild because I’m detail-oriented enough to know what colors need to be on the altar, how much wine/bread to prep, and what banners would fit the season best. The best arrangement I had was in Minnesota where my partner did the altar flowers and I did the sacristan stuff. Another thing I’ve also done is be the back-up person for coffee hour if someone was going to have to miss. My favorite job is lectoring but so far I haven’t had any offers here.

Learn early on how to keep a secret. We’ve had someone in every parish but this one who has called “innocently” to find out where Jon is. (Translation: they’ve called to mine me for gossip because Jon is probably meeting with someone and getting information that would be great when put through the rumor mill. God bless small town life.) My answer: “he’s out doing visits” and I leave it at that. If they ask me who, I claim blissful ignorance (though I probably know where he is) and tell them to call his cell phone if it’s an emergency. With rare exception, that cell phone call doesn’t happen.

Help your husband. Mine has had to be his own secretary in two of the three parishes he has served. This means that I’ve had to fold bulletins, run them off, deliver them on my way to town, assemble reports for the annual meeting, and that kind of thing. I’ve also had to adjust his stole on occasion, fix his microphone, and that kind of thing. It’s harder now that I have Daniel but I view my job on Sunday morning as being that extra pair of hands for him to make sure things go off OK. I love my friend’s suggestion of having a box for those things that need to make it to church. Thankfully, we live around the corner from the church and my husband’s church stuff is contained THERE but I could really have used that in the last two parishes.

Pray for and with your husband. This does seriously make a difference when things are going crazy.

Be social. I’m off the Myers-Briggs scale as an introvert. (Being a cloistered nun would be perfect for me at times.) Smile at people and say “hi”, especially to people you don’t know. If they’re visitors, they may actually return. One thing I do tell people is that my hearing isn’t great when I have a cold and that I hyper-focus so they need to tap me on the shoulder if I don’t hear them or respond to them.

Establish VERY clear boundaries. The parish called your husband, not you. Thus, you should be theoretically off-limits. This means that you are not your husband’s secretary, people should not be telling you things about other people, and they need to meet your husband at the church instead of the parsonage. You are only required to be at worship — everything else is your gift to the parish. I make it clear to people that they need to talk to my husband if they have a message because my short-term memory is not great… especially when I’m chasing a two year old. When people start telling me something about someone else, I explain that I really shouldn’t be hearing whatever they’re saying. I don’t invite people over to the parsonage for coffee because it’s our private residence — not an extension of the church fellowship hall. (I usually will get together with people in public, like on the playground.) I also do not discuss church business at work and have thankfully had bosses who will back me up when people try to do that. (Yes, I’ve seriously had parishioners call me at work when they can’t reach Jon. When they get huffy at me, I transfer them to my boss who tells them firmly that this is a business establishment and that they need to wait until I get home to talk to me.) People will try to challenge your boundaries so be firm (and tactful).

Make friends outside of church. I have a blogging network for a reason — I can talk about things other than whatever is happening at church or in the community. It’s also mentally healthier for me when the church isn’t my social life.

Learn to smile and nod. You know how kids say the darndest things? Parishioners are the same way. I’ve had people ramble on to me about their opinion on something which is 180 degrees from mine. (Case in point: The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren. I’ve had people swear by it while I would rather swear AT it and burn it.) Telling them that they’re wrong and misinformed does not work well, especially since they’re the ones paying your husband and controlling your housing. 🙂 Learning to smile politely and nod while listening is essential. You can roll your eyes later when you get home.

Figure out what works for you. Every parish is different and every marriage is different. Learn how to balance your the part of your identity as a pastor’s wife with the other parts of who you are. Blogging is how I reconcile everything. I also write murder mysteries. Find out what works for you.

On Osama bin Laden’s Death (II)

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Now that I’m slightly more rested…

One thing for which I’m grateful is that I have friends who help me keep perspective. Last night, I saw all the rejoicing and everything in New York and elsewhere and all I could feel was “ummm… someone just died.” I’m not in any way begrudging New Yorkers their right to rejoice and be happy because the 9/11 were a horrific event in their city from which many still bear physical, mental, and emotional scars. However, OBL was a human being, someone’s child, and someone’s friend — I cannot divorce those aspects of his life from the embodiment of evil that he became.

A passage that people shared today:

Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live? — Ezekiel 18:23

I read a piece about the response to his death in Saudi Arabia. One person who knew him and fought alongside him in Afghanistan against the Soviets talked about his sadness at losing his friend and also sadness at the person he became. (I’m trying to find the link and am failing.)

One thing that has been particularly interesting to me today is that they made the decision to bury him at sea so that they could be in accordance with the Islamic custom of burial within 24 hours. (CNN.Com has a pretty decent collection of opinions on this.) There were several reasons for this:

1.) No country wanted him. I don’t know if this was one of those things where they asked around ahead of time as a contingency plan but they didn’t have a spot on land to put him at the time he was killed. Usually, the rule is that you’re buried with your head facing Mecca.

2.) There was the risk of his grave being desecrated. This guy was responsible for the deaths of THOUSANDS of people and it’s fair to assert that there would have been someone who would have done something to his grave or his body if he had been buried on land. Even if the U.S. had buried him secretly in an out-of-the-way place, someone would eventually find him.

3.) There was the risk of his grave being made into a martyr’s shrine. Even though he had lost a great deal of popularity in the Muslim world, there are still the diehard followers who view his death as a martyrdom rather than an assassination. The last thing we (or Pakistan or Afghanistan or any country) need is for his grave to become a rallying place.

The way they actually carried out the burial was also very carefully done. His body was washed, wrapped in a white sheet, remarks were read in Arabic, and he was gently tipped off a board into the water. That it was done on a ship was also very intentional — there had been false reports that he was tossed out of a helicopter which would have been a disrespectful way to do it. I’m thankful that our government and its armed forces *DID* make the effort to give him a respectful burial for no other reason than it shows that he did deserve to be treated with dignity in the end.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: May 2, 2011

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I can’t believe it’s May already!

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY May 2, 2011

Outside my window…Sunny and quite warm.

I am thinking… about the Christian response to Osama bin Laden’s death and the stuff on my plate for getting Daniel’s medical bills taken care of.

I am thankful for… a wonderful weekend with my family and Jon’s family for Jon’s sister Joanna’s wedding.

From the kitchen… Betty Crocker Complete Meals — Beef Stroganoff.

I am wearing… coffee-colored polo shirt and jeans shorts.

I am creating… this entry 🙂 and a few other pieces of writing.

I am going… to Walgreens, Target, and Trader Joe’s at some point today.

I am reading… Murder of a Real Bad Boy by Denise Swanson.

I am hoping… the little bear goes down for his nap soon so I can have mine.

I am hearing… Daniel rustling in his crib and “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” on iTunes.

Around the house… relatively clean but there’s unpacking and laundry to be done.

One of my favorite things… black cats that serve as “mews-ses”

A few plans for the rest of the week: neuro appointment for Daniel tomorrow, meeting with the accountant on Thursday, and the Promise Walk for Preeclampsia on Saturday — sponsor me!

Here is picture for thought I am sharing… The Flathead River in April 2008

The Flathead River in April 2008

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

On Osama bin Laden’s Death (I)

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I heard the news when I called my mom to let her know that we’d gotten home from L.A. where we had been for my sister-in-law’s wedding.

Rather than try to come up with something coherent when I’m tired and waiting for Daniel to go down for his nap (so I can go down for one too), I’m going to give you three links to amazing women who sum up my sentiments: Elizabeth Esther, Jackie, and Leah.