About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.

*Trying* to Be Positive

I’ll just say it: this year sucked for me. But… rather than focus on the bad (which is unfortunately tempting), here are the positives for this year.

  • God’s presence in my life.
  • Having Jon in my life
  • My kitties
  • Tying quilts with WELCA’s in Montana and Minnesota and the fellowship I gained from that
  • Pontooning with my WELCA in Minnesota
  • Blogathon 2005
  • Recovering so quickly from surgery
  • Montana — it’s just a good thing this year
  • Thanksgiving with family
  • Christmas with family
  • Getting to hang out with Melissa while I was in Washington
  • Time with my mommy (and other family) while I was in Washington
  • Baking bread with Benjamin and Nathaniel while I was in Washington
  • Psych-testing in Minneapolis
  • Getting my driver’s license… twice
  • The support I got after the journal fiasco
  • Being able to get the domain name I wanted
  • The amazing friendships I’ve made this year on and offline
  • Beating the self-injury thing. (It’s been 6 months. This is good, OK?)
  • The kids at all 5 churches I’ve been part of this year
  • Baking with Ca, Ke, and Ka for the open house
  • People in Minnesota who loved me through all the yuckiness
  • Jon getting through the call process in only 2 weeks
  • Having family only an hour and a half away
  • Being on meds that actually keep me stable

::Embodiment:: Project on LJ

I’m doing this on LJ this year.Â? I think it’s a neat idea and I will be looking for a journal tomorrow as I head to Shelby for some other things.Â? 🙂

If you’d like to participate, get an LJ account (if nothing else, you can read my rantings as well as the things those participating have to say) and sign up by midnight on January 1st!

Why Must Everything I Do Be Feminist Just Because I Happen To Have Ovaries?

My activity of choice lately (mostly because I can’t do both it and eat at the same time) has been to make squares that will eventually become a blanket of some kind for afghans for Afghans. Because of this, I’ve been pondering some of the articles I’ve read about the crocheting/knitting boom and they caused this rant to formulate in my head.

A year or two ago, I read something about how knitting (and crocheting) has become the “new feminist thing”. At the time, it really irritated me because my crocheting is a stress release and occasionally an inexpensive way to deal with what to give people for birthdays, HannuKwanzaMas, weddings, baby showers, and all that. For some odd reason, there seems to be this drive to reclaim anything women do as “feminist” and re-author the myths that women are subservient for doing these things.

One of the reasons I’ve stopped blogging about faith and politics lately is that I can’t escape being told that I’m either too feminist or not feminist enough when I air my views. My denomination’s hierarchy and voicebox are both very much to the left of where I am and one thing I’m grateful for not having to think about any more is the feminist conception of God and how that relates to me. I am made in the image of God — just because I happen to conceive of a Fatherly-type God does not mean that I have any problem with my femininity or that I am a hypocrite because I don’t envision God having ovaries. My God is not on the same existential plane as me which means that God can have both male and female attributes and still be able to create things beautifully. (This is in response to an argument I read in some evil feminist book I was forced to read for seminary where the author talked about how God had to be female because the world was conceived and only a woman could conceive the world as men are too destructive to create things of beauty. Said book is in the “when the heat fails” box in case Jon and I ever need to burn someting to stay warm.)

This is also the reason I’ve not really pushed to head back to academia. Any seminary that would let me do my thing would be a place that would be too far left of my theology. I do want to eventually get my Masters in something (I’m leaning toward Counselling at the moment) but at the same time, I really want to get out of an environment where feminist rhetoric is pushed at me — I see men and women as equal and in a lot of ways, having the feminist anger shoved down my throat is promoting the role of women over men. I’m part of a church that ordains women — I’m chill with that as it’s as far as I think things need to go. I do not need to ponder the gender-specific term for a female pastor nor do I seek to promote women in the church over men who are just as capable — I’d rather see the best candidate have the office in both the larger Church body and the parish than have it given to a woman so that the gender balance is equal.

I call myself a feminist because I believe that surprising notion (at least to some people) that as a woman, I am a human being who is worthy of love and respect. However, my need to promote my femininity stops there. I do not need to read Scripture with a feminist hermeneutic and I do not need to be told that doing my stress release is an attempt to reclaim something in a feminist fashion.

OK… Who Gave Me This Cold?!?!?!?

Given that quite a few of you have colds, flus, etc., can I please inquire as to who gave me this bleeping cold?Â? I blamed Jon originally but I think someone might have given it to me online!

Then again, I spent 3 days in close quarters with family and was adrenalinated beyond normal…

Argh… my sleep schedule is knocked off as I’ve been doped on cold meds and I’m now awake at wrong times and asleep at others.Â? (Well… the sleeping in this morning was due to my 15 lb tabby who sat on me and vibrated even when I changed positions.)

Linking

If I link to you off of g-f.net, feel free to link back here. I’m no longer hiding myself since I put new safety features in place, so feel free to fix your current links if you haven’t already.Â? Just please don’t link with my last name, OK?

Jenn[i] Dreamed of Trains

A train out on the hiline near the house

Out here in the wilds of the Montana hiline, we have trains that come through about every 30-45 minutes.Â? It’s actually kind of soothing to hear them come through at night — there’s something about the sound of the whistle blowing and the tracks rumbling that makes me feel like everything is right with the world.Â? (Thunderstorms and heavy rain have the same effect — don’t ask me why.)Â? One of the best places I’ve slept has been in the upper berth when I’ve been on Amtrak headed somewhere — the rocking and rhythm just lulled me to slumber.

My grandfather is currently in rehabilitation and has had good and bad days though most recently, the days haven’t been that good.Â? My mom asked if I could get a series of pictures of some trains coming through near my house (I live about 1000 feet from the tracks) because it might cheer him up.Â? This is the beginning of said series of trains.