I was a bit harsh toward the person I was quoting in my last post and I thank those who pointed this out. However, those kinds of posts still incense me because it shows a lack of understanding for what I deal with daily and have dealt with in my past.

As far as medication is concerned, I would agree that anti-depressants are definitely over-prescribed. People take them as happy pills and ignore the fact that the meds would be most effective when coupled with therapy and other forms of treatment. I don’t know a single person on Paxil or Zoloft that hasn’t also benefitted in some way (however small) from therapy. In my case, it took the edge off of the extreme mood swings and depressive episodes so that I could deal with some issues (self-esteem, deaths of people I knew in high school, the sexual harassment,…) in psychotherapy. I was blessed to have a wonderful Christian woman as a psychotherapist and I remember praying with her on occasion. It *does* take two to three weeks for the meds to work; but it is a marked change when they do.

This person also commented on the fact that most of these drugs are tested on animals (as most research is — there are some similarities in physiological chemistry and there is at least some similarity in anatomy with mammals) and we go on the basis that it works in the brains of those animals. As we can’t do experiments on humans for many of these drugs, we’re having to trust that there is a connection. There’s also the fact that some medications may work better for some people than they do for others and there are quite a few new drugs on the market these days, so many doctors have a choice of what they use or what combination they use.

As far as the assertion that the drugs really only treat symptoms, that’s really what most medications do anyway. Colds are viruses so taking a Coridicin tablet isn’t going to make the cold go away but it lessens the impact of the symptoms so that people feel functional again. In the case of depression, the symptoms of it can be so debilitating that people can’t get out of bed. I know that my Xanax wasn’t a cure — it treated my insomnia, which enabled me to get more sleep and get into a better sleep pattern, which in turn helped my body to start regulating my seretonin levels again. Serzone *is* seretonin and norepinephrine (a neurotransmitter) and the extra seretonin as well as a delivery system for it helped to correct the imbalance that they perceived me to have. Medicine is not an exact science in the least and there is quite a bit of guesswork involved in much of it. You have to go on what has been proven to work in the past, which is why doctors tend to prescribe certain antibiotics for certain infections — they’ve seen enough cases where it has worked positively in other people. I *know* that I’m not cured of my depression — I *still* have some hard times and some hard days; but another part of my treatment was learning some coping skills for dealing with those days. Making sure I’m eating, sleeping, and getting exercise are all things I do to control the depressive episodes and I’ve only had one really awful one in the last two years. I also do *try* to maintain constant spiritual disciplines because those help immensely — prayer is calming and does much good when I am in a depressive state.

Lastly, this person claims to have “spent many hours reading case studies, pouring over counseling books, examining secular teachings on depression and sputtering over the nonsense that many popular Christian psychologists are teaching” which is all well and good; but they haven’t dealt with it in the same way that I have and they don’t mention having watched anyone in their family suffer with it. You don’t know how bad it can be until you’ve lived with it yourself or with someone who has it. Scholarly research only goes so far and there is also a need to read work by secular psychologists in addition to the Christian ones because they do some worthy research as well and deserve an ear.

I am not saying that prayer shouldn’t be part of the treatment and that Scripture doesn’t have a place in counselling. I’m saying that there are times when more than the simple Word of God is needed and other forms of treatment would be more effective. There *are* spiritual and emotional causes to depression as well as some physical ones (such as thyroid problems) in addition to the simple chemical imbalances; and I think that we need to look at each situation holistically and treat it as such.

Warning: Jen is venting. Take my words in light of this last sentence. Thank you!

People like this irritate me. It’s nice that depression doesn’t happen to Christians in their little sterile fundamentalist college world; but in the real world, it does and it irritates me every time I get to listen to someone tell me that if I only had hope in God, my depression would magically disappear. Ahem… King David suffered from depression and he had hope — read the Psalms. At least 1/3 of them are not happy in the least.

The five years before I was formally diagnosed were incredibly difficult. I was suicidal, had problems dealing with stress, had times when I couldn’t stop crying, and got diagnosed only because my threshold for stress had broken and it was affecting my life. Fall 1999 was one of the toughest times in my life and I remember times when I couldn’t stop crying and nights when I tossed and turned, keeping my roommate awake. The meds helped to take the edge off so that I could eventually start dealing with things in therapy; but I still had occasional weeks where I couldn’t stop crying. It’s been almost two years since I ceased medication and therapy and I’ve been fine; but it was during that time that I learned the necessary coping skills to deal with living with depression and PTSD daily.

The thing that aggravates me the most is that this person talks about all of my suffering as a consequence of responding unbiblically. Uh yeah… so I’m basically supposed to lie and pretend to be all happy when inwardly I want to crawl into a hole and die??? I believe that acting that way is sinful because we’re attempting to deceive God, ourselves, and others by making it appear that we are doing well when we aren’t. *THAT* is unbiblical and it denies God the chance to grow us. I found that my tears were a better (and more healing) witness than pretending all waa good and I found that the Lord worked more strongly through the times when I admitted my pain than He did during the times before my diagnosis when I was trying to pretend that everything was all right.

I will admit that I think doctors overprescribe anti-depressants and people use them as happy pills. Depression is something that many people live with daily; but some don’t really need the medication and use it to escape their problems. This is why I think treatment should be a holistic thing: treat the mind, the body, and the spirit. Medication, perhaps a change in diet or exercise, counselling, and (if it is appropriate) something devotional would be a thought. I’m not currently on meds or in therapy; but I also do things to control my depression such as pray, meditate, keep my stress level down (or at least try), blog, go for walks, make sure I get enough sleep, make sure my diet is balanced, and pet my cats. (The last one lowers my blood pressure and is calming. It works. Trust me.)

OK… Jen is getting off her soapbox and curling up with her fluffball now…

CHRIST IS RISEN!!!!!!!
The Lord is Risen indeed! Alleluia

For my reflections on the Triduum, see my blogs4God spiel on it.

Holy Week is a *BIG* week for liturgically-minded Christians and is part of the reason why I love Lent so much. I missed Palm Sunday worship and actually regret this because it’s an ecumenical procession at St. Paul’s and (like everything else worship-related) is a HUGE deal. I thankfully did make it to Maundy Thursday though I didn’t go up for the foot-washing. My evil cold was awful that night and I did spend quite a bit of time in the sacristy coughing up a lung, but thankfully we had stations for communion and intinction was an option. Our choir anthem was fantastic and I made it through our practice afterward.

Good Friday was the Tres Oras service at noon and my choir had the first four “words”. (You do a hymn, a reading, a part of LBW Hymn 112 [“Jesus in Thy Dying Woes”], a sermon, an anthem, and a prayer for each of the 7 last “words” of Jesus. A “word” is a saying from the Cross. Each segment is 25 minutes and the service is 3 hours long.) I made it through the words for the most part, though I did have to leave and cough up a lung occasionally. The Episcopal rector co-presided and preached the first sermon which was GOOD. The fourth one was the UCC pastor in town and he also did well because his sermon was personable and down to earth. Our music was fabulous and really captured the whole “mourning” theme. I was also exposed to some of the Easter lilies which added nasal congestion on to what I was suffering. I cam home and went to sleep as the Coridicin HBP I’d taken was making me dopey, and I slept through the Tenebrae service (in this case, a dramatic reading of John’s Gospel) that night.

We had nothing for Holy Saturday (mostly because we have a Sunrise Service and full music for the 8:00 service); but Sunday morning was glorious. I was still dealing with my cold (though doing better) and I made it through each service OK as I had my inhaler, a SlugMug of water, and cough drops with me in the pew. The music went well and we had organ with full brass for most of it. After the 8:00 service, the choir people got the remnants of Easter Breakfast and I had some time to chill. We went and spent lunch and most of the afternoon with a family from the church who had also adopted us for Thanksgiving.

You’ve also probably noticed the new layout which is a sunrise one for Easter. The layout is called “Christos aneste!” and the sunrise is because the resurrection was discovered at sunrise on the third day.