Category Archives: Personal Issues

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: August 6, 2012

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY August 6, 2012

Outside my window… dark. It’s supposed to get to 106F this week.

I am thinking… that I wish I had time to be part of the Sacramento Choral Society. In case I wasn’t clear in my Quick Takes, I could pass the audition to join without a problem and I’ve sung a chunk of the repertoire for their first concert but… it isn’t meant to be this season. I just have too much on my plate.

I am thankful… for my weekend with my parents.

In the kitchen… nothing to speak of.

I am wearing… black ratty Arabic shirt and black running shorts.

I am creating… this entry and some crocheting.

I am going… to hope I can get some decent crocheting done on the way down to LA in a week or so.

I am wondering… how long it’s going to take to smog the car and replace the tires that need to be replaced on Friday.

I am reading… Death on Demand by Carolyn Hart which I finished during my doctor’s appointment today.

I am hoping… the pain in my ears goes down. My FNP says the infection in my ears is gone and that the residual pain is my sinuses being inflammed and putting pressure on my ears.

I am looking forward to… a fairly quiet week. Daniel was supposed to have a playdate tomorrow at Fairy Tale Town but I’m not up to taking him.

I am learning that I have to rest myself and not push myself too much when I’m sick with a sinus infection or anything else that is sapping my strength.

Around the house… dishes and vacuuming to do.

I am pondering… how to deal with someone who is seriously irritating me.

A favorite quote for today… “It is better to forget about yourself altogether.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… Crystal Light peach tea.

A few plans for the rest of the week: car-related errands on Friday and making cookie dough at some point.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

Tips For Surviving Your First Year (Or Ten) Of Marriage

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Katie, the awesome chica behind NFP and Me is hosting a link-up as a way of celebrating her 2nd wedding anniversary. As I’ve now been married for 10 years, I figured that I’d toss in my $0.02 on the subject.

[+] Respect your spouse’s limitations. I’m a serious introvert (which may/may not surprise people) and I’m married to someone who is the exact opposite — an off-the-charts extrovert. Jon *likes* being around people and gets recharged that way. I, on the other hand, need to have time in a dark and quiet room after sharing the Peace at church. As it would look really wrong if people found me in the coat room reading a book during coffee hour in Montana, we used to take two cars to church. This way, I could leave when I felt “peopled-out” and Jon could stay and have all the conversations he needed. It also means that I need much more “alone” time than he does and I have to be really intentional about communicating this in a way that does not come across as “I don’t want to be around you”.

[+] It is occasionally OK to go to bed angry. There’s a point at which things have been discussed to death and no good is going to come out of talking/fighting about it any more for that night. There are also times when one person needs to decompress before they can really deal with the situation. In those occasions, it is actually better to just get some sleep and deal with things in the morning when everyone is not cranky and tired. I know that there is the verse in Ephesians 4 about not letting the sun go down on your anger but the point that Paul is making to them is not to let things fester. As long as you do plan to deal with it in the morning or at some point the next day, just go to bed. It will work out better.

[+] If you really can’t live without something being done a certain way, just do it yourself. You’re each going to come into the marriage with a specific way of doing things from folding laundry to loading the dishwasher. If something has to be done a specific way or at a specific time and asking your spouse to do it your way is going to start a fight, just do it yourself. It’s easier in the long run and spares the two of you a fight over why not matching socks while folding laundry is a crime that should be punishable by death.

[+] You need to be on the same page when it comes to starting a family. This was one of the reasons why Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert divorced her husband. The idea was that she would give up her career at age 30 to start a family and she wasn’t ready to do it. There were other things that contributed to her divorce (like her adultery) but that was the main one she listed. Is the wife going to stay home with the kids? Is there a compelling reason to avoid a pregnancy? (I’m assuming that anyone clicking over here from Katie’s blog is probably going to be Catholic and an NFP advocate.) Is a home birth an option? The only piece of advice I can give (other than to be on the same page) is to give yourselves some time to enjoy each other before you start having kids. It’s not to say that there isn’t life after kids — it just becomes a bit harder to get that weekend away once kids are in the picture.

Those are my thoughts on the subject. Happy “not-killing-Steven” anniversary, Katie!

7 Quick Takes: Big Brother, Roasting Beasts, and Not Reading 50 Shades

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

To those of you trolling the “Catholics for Choice” group on Facebook: CUT IT OUT! I’m aware that you feel that they’re raging heretics and hypocrites and you’re entitled to that opinion. I’m not going to argue with you on that one. What I will argue with you on is the efficacy of getting yourselves banned from the group. All you’re doing is giving them ammo to say that pro-life Catholics are intolerant, so cut it out! It’s also really bad manners.

— 2 —

REMINDER: Brett’s Blogathon 2012 is next Friday. It goes from 7 a.m. on Friday the 27th to 7 a.m. on the 28th over at Blogging for Brett. I’ll have information on how to donate on a sticky post at the top of the blog during the event.

— 3 —

Big Brother is back on. I don’t have a contestant I dislike thus far as much as I disliked Rachel on the last two iterations but Mike Boogie is starting to be a contender. I’m glad Frank got HOH for this coming week though — it will be interesting to see if he puts Willie up.

— 4 —

My evil twin and hopefully my sister-in-law are coming over for a barbecue on Saturday. If Jeanette (my sister-in-law) is coming, I’ll be needing to find a My Little Pony to put on her birthday cake as well as acquiring some cake mix. I also have to figure out the menu which means figuring out which beast to roast and how I want to roast it.

— 5 —

Going back to #1, I got a call from Planned Parenthood a few weeks ago. It was interesting because I never heard from them during the years when I was sympathetic to them. (I’m not unsympathetic to their practice of providing care to impoverished women — I’m just not in favor of abortion.) I’m guessing that they got my name from the campaign to take down Dan Lungren (my Congresscritter who I loathe because he’s a tool, not because he’s Republican). I don’t know exactly what they were calling about because after the person explained who they were, I politely said, “I should probably tell you that I’m pro-life and I’m not really interested.” I said good-bye and hung up. I’m sure there are some who would argue that I should have tried to debate with them but I had the bear child clamoring for my attention and I had no desire to pick a fight with someone who was probably trying to be nice and volunteer their time for their charity of choice.

— 6 —

Facebook had an interesting Yusef/Cat Stevens question this week. The question was which song you’d want to hear if he ever toured again and sang his secular stuff. It was interesting because a number of my Facebook friends commented who had absolutely no connection to each other. (My answer, by the way, is “Peace Train”.) I still can’t listen to “Moonshadow” with a straight face after the parody someone did on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me after Cat Stevens was taken off a plane in Maine for being on the no-fly list. “I’m being followed by an air marshall/Air marshall/Air marshall…”

— 7 —

I finally had a parishioner ask about 50 Shades of Grey today. She couldn’t understand why I was laughing so hard until I explained about the review that described it as “Twilight with spanking and no sparkly vampires”. What I told her was that she’s an adult and can read whatever she wants but I didn’t think it would benefit her Christian witness. It was at that point that I found out that she had joked about me having it on my NOOK during Bible study that morning. Yeah… not so much. 🙂 I’m generally not into reading whatever is popular with the exception of the Harry Potter books. I didn’t read the Twilight books until they had been out for awhile.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: July 16, 2012

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY July 16, 2012

Outside my window… dark and actually chilly with a breeze. I guess we’re supposed to be getting a storm in?

I am thinking… that I need to get up and get some stuff off the bookshelf but I’m also really tired. I really need to learn telepathy.

I am thankful… that it has cooled down a lot. I wasn’t looking forward to triple digits this week.

In the kitchen… good question. I need to go make myself some dinner.

I am wearing… gray maternity shirt and boxers.

I am creating… various things for Brett’s Blogathon 2012

I am going… to hopefully be able to avoid UCD Medical Center this week.

I am wondering… what tomorrow will hold for me.

I am reading… Death on Demand by Carolyn Hart. I haven’t really done reading lately.

I am hoping… Daniel is able to sleep off his fever tonight and can go to school tomorrow so I’ll get to go to Morning Prayer. (Selfish I know, but it’s keeping me sane at the moment.)

I am looking forward to… my massage on Friday and a BBQ with my brother (and hopefully my sister-in-law) on Saturday.

Around the house… the usual Cheerios tornado.

I am pondering… too many things mentally. I might have to journal them out of my brain.

A favorite quote for today… “Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… Coca Cola

A few plans for the rest of the week: Morning Prayer if I don’t have a sick kid, massage on Friday, and time with the evil twin on Saturday.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: July 9, 2012

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY July 9, 2012

Outside my window… 93F right now. They’re predicting triple digits for the next few days so I really hope they’re wrong.

I am thinking… about this.

I am thankful… for Morning Prayer with Anne+ this morning.

In the kitchen… trying to use up contents of the freezer.

I am wearing… Survivor shirt, running shorts, and my Celtic cross necklace.

I am creating… this entry and stuff for Brett’s Blogathon 2012.

I am going… to stay inside with the A/C until we cool down.

I am wondering… how much of a nap I can get when I finish this entry.

I am reading… Death on Demand by Carolyn Hart.

I am hoping… my IBS issues settle down.

I am looking forward to… Ladies’ Night Out this week.

Around the house… dishes, dishes, and more dishes.

I am pondering… too many things internally. I need to purge my brain.

A favorite quote for today… “When all the suns and nebulae have passed away, each one of you will still be alive.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… Crystal Light Peach Tea.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Morning Prayer tomorrow and Wednesday, Ladies’ Night Out on Wednesday night, Bible study on Thursday, and an Elk Grove trip on Friday.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

My Letter to the Editor

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Here is the letter I submitted in various forms to several Montana newspapers regarding the couple suing because their daughter was born with cystic fibrosis and they didn’t get to terminate their pregnancy with her. The papers were the Great Falls Tribune, the Spokesman-Review, and the Bozeman Daily Chronicle.

Since hearing about the lawsuit brought forward by Kerrie and Joe Evans of Gardiner, alleging that Kerrie??s right to the information that her daughter had cystic fibrosis was not given and thus her right to terminate her pregnancy was violated, I have struggled with the decision that it should be heard in court.

You see, I am the mother of a son with developmental delays and autism who was born 11 weeks prematurely when I developed HELLP Syndrome. It was only because my doctor caught it that both of us lived and my son ended up staying in the NICU at Benefis for two months. Two years later, he caught a cold which landed him in the PICU at UC Davis Medical Center with him intubated and me having to sign paperwork to put him on ECMO. ECMO was thankfully avoided when some simple ventilator changes caused an improvement but that night will haunt me forever. Another cold landed him in the hospital over Thanksgiving and we live our lives having to be careful of every cold or virus people contract around us.

What irritates me about all of this is that if my son had died in March 2011, every hour spent sleeping in the PICU bay, standing outside while codes were called on him, having to blog news on him because talking to people on the phone would cause me to weep uncontrollably would have more than worth it. Being his mother has made me an immeasurably better person.

I don??t doubt the emotional toll that having a sick daughter has taken on the Evans but I can??t help but sense that they view their daughter as merely an inconvenience rather than a child whom they love. I hope to God that I am wrong.

I don’t know if any of them will print it but I will keep all of you updated if they do.

**UPDATE** They printed it.

Struggling Here

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Four months ago, I blogged about a Montana couple who had filed a lawsuit because their daughter was born with cystic fibrosis. They contend that the doctor, hospital, and childrens’ hospitals should have tested them so they could have aborted her and saved themselves emotional and financial stress. A judge ruled a week or two ago no the case (no link to the article because the Great Falls Tribune now requires a paid subscription) and said that the lawsuit could go forward.

W.T.F.??????????

Do they hate their child that much?!?!?!?!?!? I mean, it sucks to be them or the parent of any child with special needs but guess what… YOU DON’T GET TO PICK YOUR F-ING DESIGNER BABIES!!!!!!!!! Yes, their life sucks and yes, it is stressful to have a kid that sick; but their daughter will eventually grow up and learn to read and she’s going to discover that her parents would have aborted her if they’d had the chance. How exactly are they going to explain THAT?

As the mom of a son with autism and developmental delays, I can tell you that it is a really hard life and there are a lot of days when it is an absolute struggle to drag myself out of bed because I feel overwhelmed. It’s why I’ve built up a support system around me where I can call someone and say, “I really need prayer today” or “I really need to vent about how frustrated I am.” I’m far from perfect, I throw the best pity parties around, but I can’t imagine my life without Daniel. Almost losing him last March almost killed me and I still tear up and cry a year later at the memory of that night. My life is so much immeasurably better with him in it and his laugh makes up for all the stress of the emergency c-section, my pregnancy from hell, the NICU stay, the PICU stays last year, and the struggles to get him where he is now. IT. IS. ALL. WORTH. IT.

I just want to ask people to pray for this couple that they get out of their selfish mindset. Right now, it’s a struggle for me not to curse about them any more than I have.