Travel. All of my flights went well other than my flight from Bellingham to Seattle being late on Monday and my flight to Bellingham on Tuesday involving horrible turbulence because of a weather system over the Whatcom County line. (I’m not a nervous flyer at all and even I was white-knuckling this one.) My hotel room was lovely and my rental car was great. I got to patronize the Qdoba in the Central Terminal off the C concourse both days even though I had a tight connection on Monday. (I was sitting next to the flight attendants for my San Jose flight who were deadheading from Bellingham. They told me I had time to grab food even though it was a tight connection and they’d make sure I got on my plane. They were right.)
Court. The only way I can put it was that it was brutal. The judge who was supposed to hear the case was elevated to the appellate court and we got a judge who had been on the bench for three days. It was really painful to have to sit there and listen to everything that was said about me. Nothing was conclusively decided and the case was continued to March. I had been made to fly down for this hearing, so I’m more than a little irritated at this.
Lenten devotional. I went straight from court to the airport on Tuesday and tried to channel my pain into editing reflections for my parish’s Lenten devotional booklet. I got quite a bit done and reading the reflections was a blessing to me.
My swearing. You know you might swear a little too much when you text your priest about how court went and she tells you to call her while also mentioning that she is looking forward to learning some new swear words. (She has a fouler mouth than I do so I didn’t teach her anything new.)
Daniel. I prepped like mad for this trip with regard to Daniel’s routine and care. My mom got an updated control journal for him and I did things like prep his lunches ahead of time and lay out his clothes so she could get him through the evening, morning, and afternoon I was gone without having to think too much. (I should add that my mom raised twins and backs me up 100% with Daniel’s care, so he was in the most capable hands with her. He also adores her which helps.) I was worried about him not sleeping but she got him to sleep just fine and handled his wake-up at 3 a.m. without a problem. She and my dad took him for “adventures” to Costco, Fred Meyer, and Haggen after school on Tuesday as well, which was fun for him. He was a happy kid while I was gone, but he was definitely relieved to see me.
State of the Uniom. (Yes, the misspelling is intentional. It was a typo on the tickets.) I haven’t watched it yet or read the transcripts. My life is depressing enough without reading about 45’s nonsense.
How I’m doing now. I’m worn out, not sleeping well, still feeling the sting of what Jon’s attorney said about me, and battling depression. Having to attend this hearing rebroke my heart, and the wound from having to file for divorce had the scab ripped off of it. I really want to crawl under the covers and curl up in a fetal position, but I don’t have that option. Instead, I’m dragging myself out of bed for class and doing what I need to do in order to parent Daniel because he needs a functional mama.
I don’t talk a lot about my divorce on here because it isn’t fair to Jon to have our dirty laundry aired, but know that it was not a decision I made lightly. Making it felt like I was being ripped in half.
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