Category Archives: Personal Issues

{five favourites}: Miscellanea (LXXVIII)

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#5Faves

One

“Cantus” by Connie Dover. This piece is so beautiful that it’s bringing me to tears, y’all!

Two

This post from Kelly. I don’t care what she says — Kelly is an exceptional mom.

Three

This presidential debate “yoga” game. I definitely think doing this will be better than large quantities of alcohol in the long run.

Four

“Immanuel” by David Wesley. If you like Peter Hollens and you like Christian worship music, you’ll like him.

Five

“Build Your Kingdom Here” by Rend Collective. This is one of the songs I listen to when I need a pick-me-up.

Go love up Bonnie, DeBalino, and the others.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: Autism Speaks

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31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

You know how I blogged on information literacy last week? (You didn’t read it? Go read it now. I’ll wait.) Well… I have an example of it now.

The website that is given out to every parent that gets an autism diagnosis for their kiddo is Autism Speaks. They’re the most vocal organization out there of all the resources on autism, they sponsor walks to raise money for research, and they’re all about managing autism/finding a cure etc. I was too shell-shocked to really read up on it when Daniel was diagnosed and instead focused more on learning about ABA because it was a way of working with him that seemed to reach him in ways that other things didn’t.

One small problem with the site: it’s run by neurotypical people and is aimed at making autistic people more like those who are neurotypical.

The problem with this: People with autism AREN’T neurotypical. It would be like putting someone in a room with speakers going at full volume with a million different sounds and then expecting them to carry out their life as normal. IT’S NOT THE WAY OUR BRAINS WORK!!!

A big problem that I have is that people act like autism is a deadly disease and that it’s incompatible with life. Seriously, I’m high-functioning (which we discovered AFTER Daniel was diagnosed) and my life is fine. Do I have to find ways to adapt to the world? Yes. I go into hiding after having to be social for an extended period of time and I tend to hyper-focus. I also have always taken what people say very literally and had to learn to distinguish between reality and hyperbole. Is my brain useful in this world? It is. I think my brain functioning in a slightly different way means that I have a way of seeing things and analyzing things that helps me and which can other people. Would it be that way if I wasn’t on the spectrum? No, and I think it would be boring.

After finding out what the signs for autism in girls are and discovering that I fit them, I changed my viewpoint quite a bit. Rather than hoping that ABA and other therapies would “fix” Daniel, I started thinking about what would help him to live in the world being the person God made him to be. I also eventually (like a month ago) stopped feeling like Daniel’s autism was a failure on my part. (And yes, I had been made to feel that way by a lot of people.)

Daniel never stopped being the kid he “used to be” — he has always been himself and will always be the kid he is. Instead, I need to work on myself and my expectations. I found this to be the case when I met with his teacher and two of his therapists today for my “fall family meeting” (a fancy-schmancy name for a parent-teacher conference) and they talked about how much a sweetie pie he was, how he interacts, how he participates so well, and just how much they love him. I used to freak out about him staying at grade level and now I’m more concerned with making sure that he learns to be kind and have made peace with him being whoever he ends up being as a student. (Kiddo *LOVES* school so I’m pretty sure he’ll catch up eventually.)

So how exactly does information literacy fit in? Well, they tell you to look at bias, manipulation, etc. as a means of determining which sources are more authoritative. Autism Speaks doesn’t (or at least didn’t for a while) have any autistic people on their board of directors or really in any high-up part of the organization which is a bit weird for an organization that purports to speak authoritatively on a condition.

I asked my dear friend Anita for an alternative and she recommended the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network instead.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: Choosing Life (I)

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31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

This is a really controversial subject and I want to make it clear that I’m not judging anyone for the decision they did or didn’t make.

So…

I hate that I’m having to bring this up but… we have a problem in our society and it’s that we shy away from anything that inconveniences us. This manifests itself very prominently when it comes to our inability to accept any physical/mental defect in our children. The abortion rate for diagnosed spina bifida cases is 64%, for example, and I’ve heard people say that the rate of abortions of babies with Down Syndrome is around 90%. That last one doesn’t surprise me because I know they jumped me forward in line for a 3-D ultrasound with Daniel because there was a chance that he had Down Syndrome and they needed to know if they needed to do amniocentesis to get a diagnosis because the test result came back at ~20 weeks gestation and the deadline to terminate the pregnancy was 24 weeks. (For those who haven’t heard the story, my response was that I’d be happy to get the ultrasound but I was not getting amniocentesis nor was I going to abort my kid. It was a big step in my pro-life conversion.) Neither condition is actually “incompatible with life” as many doctors say they are and I think that this is a result of all the lawsuits brought for “birth injuries” because the kid did not come out of the womb in perfect condition.

And yes, the one thing I *WILL* judge are wrongful birth lawsuits. Those things make me vomit because you’re telling your kid that you would have aborted them if you had the chance. (Case in point.) In the case of this mother in Montana, she did not exercise her due diligence and participate in genetic counseling, which is apparently the fault of her doctors, right? (By the way, her daughter is doing fine.) It’s not like there are people who have it and are doing fine or anything…

What I really wish would happen is that doctors working with pregnant women would be required to spend some time interacting with people who *DO* have Down Syndrome or spina bifida because, as I said earlier, neither one is incompatible with life though they can and do make life inconvenient. Two of the daughters of the pastors in the bigger town where we lived in Montana have Down Syndrome and one of them lives on her own, has a job at a daycare, and is able to function on her own with a little bit of help. (The other daughter was quite young when we lived there but I do believe she is moving in the same direction.) I know several young men in their 20’s who are the sons of former colleagues of Jon’s and were born with spina bifida. Both are in college and self-sufficient. I can’t imagine the world without any of these four people.

I’ll probably re-visit this topic tomorrow. In the meantime, I have an Accounting test tomorrow and need to get some sleep!

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: October 16, 2016

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For Today…

Simple Woman's Daybook

Looking out my window… cloudy and windy with temps in the low 50’s. We missed getting hit with the worst of the big storm last night but we’ve still got some of the winds from it blowing.

I am thinking… about my Practical Accounting test tomorrow and the Excel work to get done before Wednesday.

I am thankful… we didn’t lose power last night or have any of the big trees in the yard fall on the house like it was predicted to happen.

One of my favorite things… calm nights where I can listen to music and chill.

I am wearing… chocolate brown shirt from Fred Meyer and jeans from Kohl’s. Church clothes were my burgundy Old Navy shirt and my black slacks/black cardigan from Kohl’s with my trusty black flats.

I am creating… a folder for the student files for this chapter of Excel. (We have database files that we play with as we work through the chapter.)

I am listening to… the wind outside.

I am hoping… my glasses arrive from Firmoo soon and that they do in fact fit and look good on me.

I am learning… about maintaining workbooks in Excel and adjustments in Practical Accounting.

In my kitchen… I think chicken cacciatore is on the menu tonight.

In the school room… Daniel has school pictures on Wednesday so I need to schedule in a haircut for him in the next two days.

Post Script… I was greatly amused by this during the last debate.

Shared Quote… I thought this was awesome.

My new motto.

A moment from my day… I had the song “I’ll Tell Me Ma” in my head last night and found a cool version by Dr. Eric Jones that involves body percussion. The original song is on top and the Eric Jones version is on the bottom.

Hosted by The Simple Woman.

7 Quick Takes: Migraines, Eye Exams, and Secret Trump Apologists, Oh My!

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

*facepalm* Let me explain this in small words so that people understand because apparently, there are people on Facebook who are depriving a village somewhere of their chief idiot:

If your reaction to the news that he’s groped women, harassed them, and treated them horribly is anything other than “that’s horrible!” and possibly “I’m not voting for him” (I’m not saying that you have to like or vote for Hillary)… YOU’RE A TRUMP APOLOGIST.

If your reaction to this news is “well, I’ve been dealing with that all my life so why is this any different”, you’re missing the freaking point and… YOU’RE A TRUMP APOLOGIST.

If your reaction to the news is to deflect to Bill Clinton and what happened during his administrations, you’re missing the point (yet again) and *surprise surprise*… YOU’RE A TRUMP APOLOGIST. (And for the record, I was not old enough to vote in the 1992 and 1996 elections so you can stop claiming that I’m responsible for whatever he did.)

If your reaction is to cite 50 Shades of Grey as evidence that women are asking for it, you’re a disgusting human being and (not shockingly)… YOU’RE A TRUMP APOLOGIST.

If you’re reaction is to say “yeah, it’s horrible but I’m voting for him anyway”, you need a filter between your mouth and brain and *drumroll*… YOU’RE A TRUMP APOLOGIST.

— 2 —

And speaking of the stupid deflection to 50 Shades of Grey… This meme explains the problem in that logic very succinctly. It also illustrates why I am *INCREDIBLY* proud to have contributed money to the effort to kick Joe Walsh out of office and replace him with the amazingly wonderful Tammy Duckworth. 😀

Joe Walsh is a moron.

— 3 —

And for the record… You are not required to vote for either Trump or Hillary. If you find them both repugnant and are of the opinion that third parties take votes away from your chosen candidate, you have the option of simply not voting for a presidential choice on the ballot. HOWEVER… you *DO* need to vote for someone for the House, Senate (if there’s a Senate race in your state this year), governor, and for any local races because those people do the day-to-day governing. In the case of your House member and your senator, they’re part of one of the checks and balances on the President’s power.

— 4 —

Eye exams. One of the temple pieces on the frames of my glasses snapped on Tuesday and I had to find someone who could do an eye exam because I haven’t seen either an optometrist or ophthalmologist in probably 2 years. (They get pissy if you go in for glasses and your prescription isn’t current.) One local place was able to get me in this afternoon and when they checked my vision, we discovered that my distance prescription on my sunglasses corrects to better than 20/20 in terms of reading as well. As I’ve had reading glasses for 23 years and bifocals for 22 of them, this was a surprise. It’s also another sign that my vision improved after the HELLP Syndrome which is almost unheard of — usually, women have to get a stronger prescription for their vision after having it.

— 5 —

The timing is impeccable. Can I just tell you how fun it is to have an eye exam while dealing with a migraine? It’s just fabulous. The tech and the optician were both apologizing for putting stuff in my eyes and shining lights in because light sensitivity is one of my migraine symptoms.

— 6 —

Stormy weather. The Pacific Northwest is supposed to get hit with several *MASSIVE* storms this weekend with insane winds and atmospheric pressures that are apparently reminding one forecaster of what was seen during the 1962 Columbus Day storm that killed 46 people. (My Practical Accounting professor had me look it up during class today because I was bored and done checking my homework. It’s nice to be useful.)

I and the rest of God’s country would appreciate it if you’d keep us in prayer that there are no fatalities and no widespread power losses.

— 7 —

A kindred spirit. You know your professor is a kindred spirit when you get all the references to literature, movies, and TV shows that she throws into quizzes/pre-tests/tests. Our last test had the business owners named after characters on The Office and our pre-test for the chapter test this coming Monday had names from Pride and Prejudice.

For more Quick Takes, visit Kelly at This Ain’t The Lyceum.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: ID Bracelets

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31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

Good news: The nice people at Dayspring want to give one of you fabulous people a $100 gift card. I know that a gift card like that would *TOTALLY* pay for my yearly Christmas cards. 🙂 Go on over to yesterday’s post for the Rafflecopter.

Even better news: I figured out how to get my Desktop back after the [insert expletives] at the Evil Empire decided that it would be a *FABULOUS* idea to put my laptop in tablet mode after doing the Anniversary Update. This makes my life *SO* much easier than it has been for the last 2-3 weeks because I have my desktop, my taskbar, and the ability to layer windows back. I’m trying to work through my intense fury before I send my feedback to the lackeys at the EE’s headquarters in Redmond because they have MAJORLY inconvenienced me for the last few weeks.

So… today’s topic from “the cheater entry list” is ID bracelets for kiddos. If you have one who is non-verbal like my Daniel, this is important. These two are my favorite companies.

Road ID: I discovered them two years ago and Daniel is on his second one. (We’ve moved a few times.) One feature I love is that you can get the Interactive version of the nameplate which puts a code on the back that a first responder can call into a 1-800 number and have access to every bit of your medical information so that they have all your medications and drug allergies when they’re taking you to the hospital. A lot of hikers, backpackers, and runners use them and the whole concept came when someone had an accident and couldn’t communicate with the first responders. Additionally, they let designate a charity to whom they’ll donate part of your purchase price (you can pick between around 9 of them). I seriously cannot say enough good about them and they have been wonderful in terms of customer service.

Alert Me Bands: We switched to this one a year ago (before switching back to Road ID after this last move) after a friend pointed it out to me on Facebook. It’s a similar concept to Road ID and the bracelet we had for Daniel was similar to this one. (I added one in about Daniel being non-verbal and having asthma.)

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: You Know You’re The Mom of A Developmentally Delayed Kid…

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31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

There is a giveaway from the lovely people at Dayspring. They really want to give someone a $100 gift card. The Rafflecopter for the giveaway is below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I’m in the midst of a week where I have a boatload of work due on Thursday and Friday so there might be “cheater” posts put up by me in the next couple days. Today’s is one that I wrote in November 2011 that applies to what I’m writing about this month. Enjoy!

Daniel had a pediatrics appointment today. After it was over, I seriously felt like I should be putting together a “You Know You’re A _____ If” list. So without further adieu…

You know you’re the mother of a developmentally delayed kid when…

[+] You rejoice because your kid is at the 25th percentile for height/weight/head circumference because they can finally plot the points on their growth chart.
[+] You can succinctly describe your horrendous pregnancy and birth experience in under 10 words but most of them have three or more syllables.
[+] The sight of your kid walking at 2.5 years old makes their pediatrician clap with joy because, dude, this is HUGE.
[+] You aren’t fazed by your kid’s abysmal MRI results because you got the report six months ago and your child’s physical therapist from Easter Seals talked you off the (figurative) ledge at that point.
[+] Your child’s pediatrician tells you that your child’s brain has many abnormalities (see “MRI results above”) and will never be like the brains of other kids their age. Your response: “We’ll see” while thinking to yourself that your child has a habit of defying predictions like these.
[+] Those abysmal MRI results get you a consult to every specialist you ask to see.
[+] Your child has more specialists in their lives than most hospitals have on staff. (Josh’s mother Susan is my former IV area director.)

Now for the ones that don’t apply to the peds appointment today!

[+] You know that you will cry when your child turns three and (in California) you lose your Easter Seals therapists. (Under the Lanterman Act in California, your child becomes the problem of their local school district once they turn three.)
[+] All your child’s developmental milestones are VERY BIG DEALS!!!!!!!
[+] You have stories from the NICU, PICU, and Peds wards of the hospital.
[+] You’ve had to explain to people why your kid is not waving at them, why your kid does not need a children’s menu, or why your kid isn’t doing ____ when other kids their age can do it.
[+] You finally just learned how to (joyfully) suppress the urge to say “Bite me!” to the person who asks the third question on that last item. (OK… again this is probably just me.)
[+] It makes you happy when people acknowledge your child/have a normal conversation with them instead of talking over them.
[+] You read the blogs of other mothers who have kids with developmental delays/Down’s Syndrome/autism spectrum disorders and can identify with their posts.