At Midwest, they had us break up into groups and share our answers to these questions. These are my answers;

1.) Describe/discuss what your family was like at two points, when you were six and when you were sixteen. Come up with a metaphor to depict your family at each of these points. Come up with a “metaphor within the metaphor” to depict your role in the family at each of these points.
At six, the metaphor would be that of a matushka doll set. (These are stackable Russian dolls.) My family was very close and I felt surrounded by them. At sixteen, my family was like walking into Schenk Chapel in the afternoon when it was dark and the sun would be streaming in the windows. The “metaphor within a metaphor” for me at that age was the person walking through the chapel seeing the light streaming in. This was the time when I really came into my own with Christ and started going to church on my own.

2.) Describe a “dark night of the soul,” a time when you struggled with God, with faith, or with life. How did that change you?
This is definitely the fall of my second year of college when I was diagnosed with depression. It was a time where I struggled with who I was, how to deal with the pain I felt, and when I considered dropping out of school. It made me more aware of how dangerous it is to repress my feelings and it helped me to see that it was possible to be a faithful Christian and still struggle with depression. It also made me much more aware of the suffering of other people.

3.) Tell the story of a time when you felt particularly successful/effective in doing something.
This would definitely have to be my Project B, a paper that was required for me to pass US History AP with Honors credit. I wrote mine on the Scopes Trial and decided to tack a “little” section onto it about the debate in the U.S. today. I then found out that I could really have done another paper solely on the debate in its current form. My paper went over well and I had a wonderful time writing it. I even was able to use it in college for one of my classes.

4.) What are you like at your worst?
I cry. I sulk. I am moody. I am downright tempermental.

5.) Tell the story of an “out of character” experience.
In the Fall of 2000, we were on a pre-school retreat at Mt. Hermon and it was decided that we would do the high ropes course as a team building experience. I am completely terrified of heights and I was talked into doing it. I was fine on the first 5 elements and on the 6th one, I went into full panic hysteria. I made it across and determined that I would keep going. (This is of course after my friend Erik had loosened my death grip on the tree I was hugging with all my might.) On the 8th element, I fell off the rope and realized that I was sitting 55 feet above the ground completely supported. This was just unbelievably cool!!! I finished the course quickly. It was traumatic but I look back on it fondly.

6.) Share the most puzzling question you have about yourself.
Why can’t I be satisfied with what I’ve done instead of being jealous of what other people are doing or have gotten to do?

7.) Come up with metaphors for yourself from each of the following categories: an animal; a color; a country; a Biblical, historical, or literary figure.
animal: a cat 🙂
color: indigo
country: Ireland
figure: Anne Shirley (of “Anne of Green Gables” fame)

8.)Come up with a metaphor depicting your experience of vocation — call.
Mine would be walking through a ruined church in Ireland. The walls are still standing but it has long been abandoned after the roof and everything in it was destroyed by warring chieftains or Vikings. You know that something very wonderful and holy happened there, but you’re piecing together the details to explain what did. While you are figuring this out, there is a profound sense of holiness that pervades the air. The way that this is a metaphor for my call is this. My call is the picture of the church before the ruin of it. As I’m in this process, I’m picking through the memories I have of my life and seeing how the Lord has totally used them to prepare me. The sense of holiness is my sense that I have been called by God into ordained ministry.

9.) Describe an ideal ministry setting for you. Within that context, describe a particular challenge that would be most meaningful for you to address.
Mine would probably be a rural parish in the Minnesota or the Pacific Northwest. (I want mountains and possibly the ocean.) It would be in a very close-knit community and it would be a medium-sized parish. I would envision a parish where the sense of social justice is not “we need to attend to what’s going on in Latin America”; but instead “half the farmers in this community are starving because the harvest was bad. Let’s pitch in and help them and give any leftover money to Oxfam.” (I advocate doing things to help internationally; but it helps if you also are concerned about your immediate neighbor.) As far as the programs I’d like, I’d love a women’s group, a quilting group, a ministry that helps with hunger issues, some ecumenical involvement, and something for all ages. (In other words, the 18-55 year olds would not be lumped together as “adult Sunday School”. Let’s have something for the 18-30 year olds and then the 30-55 year olds.) The challenge would be getting the 18-35 year olds, especially if it’s a rural parish.

10.) What experience has nothing to do with church or ministry can you count on to bring pure joy to your life?
This would probably be spending time with Jon and our future kids. I also would be into crocheting, camping, hiking, and just GETTING OUT OF TOWN!!!

This isn’t meant to be a survey/meme but if y’all want to answer these questions in your own blogs, go for it. Just leave me a link in the comments section.

Rachel is still hurting. I can’t say I blame her. I was surprised at her reaction; but then again, the whole debacle in the U.S. probably looks pretty scary to those outside of English-speaking North America. *I’m* still hurting because it’s caused the portal some splits and these splits are not healthy.

I honestly am hurt when I read the comments of people like Gregory Popcak who seems to think that b4G did us a favor by posting the posters. He claims to be a therapist but his attitude is not incredibly theraputic. To be fair, he had some good words but he’s missing something there. *I* don’t like the fact that abortion exists either, but there are ways of preventing it other than making it illegal. Educate your kids about sex. Educate them about contraception. (Sorry… it’s either contraception or abortion and contraception can be as easy as NFP.) Educate them about the place of sex which is in marriage. Boycott advertisers who advertise during shows like “Friends” which encourage casual sex. Instead of outright banning abortion (which does nothing because women will still have them either in Canada, Mexico, or underground), why don’t we try to prevent the need for its existence? His comments make the pro-choice people like we’re a bunch of butchers that prey on unsuspecting women. The only reason I claim to be pro-choice is that I think that I have a right to make decisions that regard my body, and that the fate of me or my unborn child should not be in the hands of a 50 year old man sitting on Capitol Hill. What about those of us who have medical conditions that would make it dangerous to carry a child to full term?

The other thing that just irritates me about the pro-life movement is that they see Planned Parenthood as simply an abortion clinic. Believe me, it’s not. They provide sex education to schools. They provide low cost pelvic exams to women who may not be able to see a normal gynocologist because of cost. They provide condoms and birth control. The provide low cost sterilization for women who want that. Abortion is not the first option they push and when a woman does decide to have one, that woman is educated about what it is, what the risks are, what the procedures are, and what the effects will be. It isn’t like it’s the first and only option they push.

I would love to see both sides sit down and discuss this but there is too much animosity for them to even think about doing anything other than protesting.

Rachel does ask too many questions but she asks *good* ones. I recommend taking a look at her questions. I think they need to be pondered by people on *both* sides of the abortion issue.

Dinner was fabulous. Neither of us has expensive tastes so we managed to come out under $30 at a place where $50+ is the norm. I had some calamari and some spinach salad — the salad was probably the best part of the meal.

Over dinner, Jon and I were talking about the retreat and I commented on my conversation with J. David Hill, the Lutheran campus pastor at OSU who was leading the retreat. We were talking about Celtic Christianity and how it relates to Native American spirituality. While reflecting on it, I realized that both strongly emphasize a connection with the natural world that makes us a part of Creation. We are called to be stewards of creation, not just simply have dominion over it. He talked of having a place of sacred remembrance which sounds like the place I have in my mind from Santa Cruz. It was a spot at Stevenson College on the knoll overlooking East Field with a good view of the ocean. It was there I went to cry when I found out that Jon and Susie were together and where I finally said my good-byes to my friend Steve.

This all has really made me think about how I view the world. Was it created for me or was I created for it? I am just as much a part of it as the tree outside my window or the river flowing through downtown Columbus. This might be why my preferred prayer space is in the forest.

In case you ever wonder about how much God loves you….

But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
“For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your place.
“Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.
“Do not fear, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
And gather you from the west.
“I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
And to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring My sons from afar
And My daughters from the ends of the earth,
Everyone who is called by My name,
And whom I have created for My glory,
Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.”
–Isaiah 43:1-7 (NASB)

(We meditated on this passage in the retreat today.)

Retreat|*|We had a spiritual retreat today and about 8 of us from the seminary attended. It was led by the Lutheran chaplain from OSU who happens to be Native American and trained in spiritual direction by the Franciscans. We did have some quiet time to reflect but we also had some group discussion times. I feel somewhat more renewed spiritually and I am working on ways to fit prayer in next week in the midst of everything else…

Our discussion of spirituality was strongly focused on the more ancient ways like the Desert Fathers and Mothers and the Celtic Church (yay!!!) as well as Native American beliefs. Nature imagery does figure into my spirituality and I have to sometimes fight the tendency to worry about whether or not I’m turning too Wiccan or New Age. (No offense intended to those of you who are Wiccan or New Age.) What I am worshipping is created by God and I see divine fingerprints in it. However, I need to make sure I recognize that it’s the Creator who I pay homage to and not the creation. The Celtic prayers and blessings however really bring me closer to God, perhaps because they are so all-encompassing. For example:
Delightful it is to stand on the peak of a rock,
in the bosom of the isle,
gazing on the face of the sea.
I hear the heaving waves chanting a tune to God in heaven;
I see their glittering surf.

Delightful it is to live on a peaceful isle,
in a quiet cell,
serving the King of kings.
–“Columba’s Rock” from Celtic Prayers by Robert Van de Weyer
(If you want to know the reason for Columba’s flight from Eire, read this portion of my senior seminar paper)

I love this prayer because it uses the ocean and its sounds as a metaphor for our praise to God. [shameless plug] If you want to know more about this kind of thing, let me recommend my senior seminar paper. [/shameless plug]

Other Life Things
My mom sent me a very cute card for my birthday (which is tomorrow) with an orange kitten on it who has its head resting on two pears. The inside says “It’s your birthday — a catnap is being taken in your honor!” (To say I’m a cat person is *VERY* mildly understating it.) Inside the card were a few pictures — two of Jon and I in the church and one of Jon and I and our respective parents.

Law and Order
I watched the special episode of “Law and Order: SVU” last night and it was powerful. They decided to tackle the issue of molestations in the Catholic Church. Eric Stolz, the one who played the priest in question, was interested in doing this episode because he knew people personally who were molested by priests. The episode was interesting in that it had the normal plot twists and it was also a very contemporary issue. I read today about LA officials investigating Cardinal Roger Mahoney for failing to report sexual abuse, per a California law that requires clergy to report it within 36 hours unless it falls under the sacrament of confession. (We have this same law ingrained on our brains at the seminary because there is such a possibility of law suits otherwise.) In the episode, this dialogue took place:

The Priest: I became a priest to serve God and the Church
Detective: And those children aren’t part of the church?
…
The Priest: I have to do everything in my power to protect the pentitent.
Detective: What about the faithful? Who protects us?

When the priest exposes the perpetrator (by breaking the seal of confession), the perpetrator (who I will not name unless you email me and tell me that you want to know who the real molestor was) explains that the priest will be defrocked and excommunicated, losing all access to the sacraments for breaking the confession and losing their soul, the priest responds: “Actually, I think I’m saving it.”

Very powerful and interesting episode.