i’m reading the devotionals that jon’s mom wrote for this week in “christ in our home” (the elca equivalent of odb) and i’ve gotten to the one she wrote about her cat timothy who is s-p-o-i-l-e-d with a capital “s”. this “young lion” gets all the pampering that he desires and though he thinks he “suffers in hunger”, he is fed remarkably often. he makes my mom’s demonic orange cat look like an abused child. the devotional is based on psalm 34:9-14 which talks about how those who fear the Lord lack nothing.

i just got the “wow worship” cd. it is *soooooooo* good. i really miss contemporary worship when i’m home and i’m blasting it on my cd rom and singing along. it’s a cool way to worship and i really enjoy having music that encourages me while i work. the first cd in the album is probably my favorite since it has all the really good ones like “heart of worship”, “shout to the Lord” (which almost *always* brings me to tears when i sing it), “Father, i adore You”, and “the river is here”. “shout to the Lord” brings me to tears because the lyrics are so powerful and also because it reminds me of my friend steve lazaar who died two years ago. he had been one of my co-leaders for the leland christian fellowship during senior year and he was one of the few people who was really a good friend throughout high school. he died of a massive heart attack two years ago and i am still really struggling to accept his death.

i ended up deleting yesterday’s entry because i felt that it was too sugar-coated in what i was saying. i also felt that i was being downright pharisaic in my talk of my issues with society’s views on sex. (i’m one of those *old fashioned* people who thinks that sex is for marriage alone.) i felt like i was saying that every one of my generation except *me* is headed down the wrong path. i feel like i’m being too judgmental in saying that. sigh… why is it that everyone is allowed to voice their thoughts but christians are urged to keep their mouths shut?

go to prayer.diaryland.com. now. do it.

my devo time today included ephesians 4:25 – 5:2 (get rid of all bitterness and forgive people and then be imitators of Christ). it’s a passage of lessons that i should learn. i admit that i am really bitter about things and i admit that i am angry that i’m stuck in san jose since it’s really hard being home. i love my family and all, but san jose just has some bad memories. i admit that dad and i have been fighting lately over my attitude. (he wants me to loosen up and i want him to actually listen to me instead of interrupting me and writing me off.) i really need to forgive him for some of the arguments that we’ve had but it’s so hard…