Category Archives: Faith

Am I This Passionate About My Faith?

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It was unfortunately a typical Sunday for me — no church because either Daniel or I was sick (in this case, me) so I did the Sunday readings on my own. I was reading through my Facebook this morning and my friend Kate had posted this video.

It’s Matt Maher singing “Lord, I Need You” at World Youth Day during Eucharistic Adoration and it almost brought me to tears to see. (I think if I wasn’t so tired, it would have induced tears.) For one thing, you’ve got 3 million young people kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament and praying. For another, Maher himself is kneeling as he’s playing which shows that he gets the gravity of what he’s singing.

It brings to mind the question of whether I’m this passionate about my faith. I do actually have an excuse for missing church this Sunday (still getting over bronchitis) but for the last few years, I will admit that I’ve had a lot of Sundays sitting in church and wanting to be anywhere else but there… regardless of what church I am in. It has nothing to do with Jon’s previous parishes and synods throwing us under the bus and it doesn’t mean that I hate Jon’s preaching or that I don’t support his ministry. It isn’t a crisis of faith — I’m passionate in my love for God and in my belief in Jesus Christ. There is still something that just isn’t right and seeing this video is showing me that I’m missing something.

Things I’ve Learned from VBS

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Jon is teaching VBS tomorrow/today (I forgot to write something for Friday and it’s still Friday in Alaska and Hawaii so cut me some slack!) so I decided to share the things I’ve learned from teaching and helping with VBS in the last few years.

-Froot Loops stick to your ears if you lick them.

-Never ask kids if they have questions. It never ends well.

-The batteries in your digital camera will die the second you need to take a series of pictures for the end of day Powerpoint display.

-Singing silly songs is a lovely way to deal with your grief after sitting with a family whose member has just died.

-You can recall a huge amount of Scripture if it has been part of a silly song.

-There is nothing like chicken-dancing after having a tough day at work.

7 Quick Takes: Writing These Took a Herculean Effort

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

Serious cuteness. When Jon was about to pull into the driveway this evening, Daniel rushed to the window to watch and started singing “da da da da da” to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. As Jon walked around the house to get the garbage cans to put out, Daniel followed him around the bank of windows and then rushed to the door when Jon started unlocking it. When Jon came in, Daniel took his hands and started bouncing. It was totally fun to watch.

— 2 —

Orphans. Do you see these three adorable children?

First row: Brett and Iris.
Second row: Kaia.

BrettIrisKaia

Brett still needs a mama. Iris finally has a family committed to her. Kaia has a family committed to her who will be traveling to her country and will meet her tomorrow! Click on their names to see their Reece’s Rainbow pages.

— 3 —

Not good for me to find. Did you know that HuffPo has a Cats section???? A page full of cat stories!!! Can we say “massive time waster for Jen”???

— 4 —

I might be getting a little verklempt… Thank you to Beth Anne who shared this with me on Twitter. The ones involving cats are lovely but they’re all good and may cause a little water to leak out of your eyes.

— 5 —

Real life. So my chest cold *did* turn into bronchitis and by Sunday, I was sick enough that my parents were terrified of letting me drive home by myself. On Monday, I went to the clinic where my FNP wrote me a script for antibiotics and an inhaler as well as giving me the option of also having a Rocephen shot. I took her up on it (mostly because my life would suck immeasurably more if Daniel got this) and of course, the shot *would* have to be given in my rear end. (It’s probably good that I was too sick to reflect on this at the time because I think prudish me would have been blushing and hugely embarrassed as it was the male student nurse giving it.) I was also too tired and sick to think of curse words to say (the shot hurt like Hades) and was instead going through the Jesus prayer to try and keep myself calm. The injection site is still sore a few days later but the shot was a good thing — I turned a corner within 24 hours and am almost back to normal today.

— 6 —

Some good news. Thomas of Fuller Life (formerly known as “Strong Catholic”, “Identified Catholic”, and “Listening for the Shepherd”) has some BIG NEWS. He’s been a little vocal about it all week and I’ve been mocking him mercilessly so I figured I’d give him some link love as a way of making it up to him. I’m also under orders to pounce on his naysayers like a “mama lion” (or is it “friend lion”?) so please go give him some congrats and please don’t make me screw up my gel nails.

— 7 —

With Simcha on this one… Apparently, there has been some grumping in the Catholic blogosphere (where I hang out because there aren’t any Lutheran bloggers like me) about the confessionals at World Youth Day in Rio because they aren’t “pretty”. Simcha Fisher takes them to task and I’m with her on this one — yes, they aren’t as aesthetically pleasing as Gothic cathedral but seriously… THAT’S NOT THEIR PURPOSE!!! I’d personally rather see hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of young people having the opportunity to engage their faith and seek forgiveness for their sins than something that may be aesthetically-pleasing but not functional.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: July 22, 2013

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY July 22, 2013

Outside my window… cloudy. I’m kind of hoping for some rain as that may explain my headache earlier or it could just be the Rocephen shot from this morning.

I am thinking… that I really hope Daniel doesn’t get the cold that turned into bronchitis for me.

I am thankful… for my parents being able to get me home yesterday when I was in no shape to drive because of the bronchitis. I’m also thankful for access to good medical care this morning to get treated.

In the kitchen… chicken marinating.

I am wearing… a black t-shirt with white Freya fur and black running shorts.

I am creating… blog posts.

I am going… nowhere exciting this week. I’m kind of glad — I had enough excitement this weekend.

I am wondering… if Cullen will stop shunning me tonight.

I am reading… Newman’s Apologia pro vita sua still. It’s a long work and I haven’t gotten much reading time these days.

I am hoping… I sleep well tonight. I have to sleep sitting up because being flat or even tilted makes me start coughing.

I am looking forward to… feeling better and being able to breathe again.

Around the house… cleaning to do for tomorrow’s visit from the respite person.

I am pondering… way too many things internally.

A favorite quote for today… “God is love, and that love works through men ?? especially through the whole community of Christians.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… naps. They are wasted on cats and on the young.

A few plans for the rest of the week: trying to get copyediting done, blogging daily as part of ConversionDiary.Com’s 7-posts-in-7-days link-up, interviewing respite people on Tuesday and Thursday, as well as Daniel having ABA on Wednesday and Friday.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

Me and NFP

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Katie at NFP and Me has a link-up for posts about NFP this week because it’s Natural Family Planning Week. Here’s mine.

One of my big rules for myself on this blog is that my sex life is off-limits. BIG boundary. Brick wall with razor wire over it.

Yeah… just drove a battering ram through that wall and am talking about it for the purposes of this post.

So.

When I was in college, I took a class in “Religion and Social Change” from the Sociology department and my professor was a complete jerk. When we hit Catholicism and were going to be discussing liberation theology, he devoted an entire lecture to perpetuating Catholic stereotypes like the rhythm method being “Vatican roulette”. If you want to know how bad it was, my little evangelical Christian self was sitting in lecture praying for him to STFU. I honestly didn’t know anything about Catholic teaching on sex other than pre-marital sex was banned and back in the day, the “rhythm method” was the method recommended to avoid having kids. I did know a number of Catholic women, however, who openly thumbed their noses at Church teaching and were on the Pill so I guessed that dissent was allowed.

Let me just make it clear: my former denomination and my current denomination have no opinion on birth control. My current denomination is pro-life (no abortion) but they’re fine with me being on the Pill.

Fast forward a few months to me going in for a pelvic exam before I got married where I was given samples of the Pill. I had a bad reaction but figured that it was a fluke. A couple years later, I got another script for it and it caused me to be incredibly nauseated. I tried the patch two years later. The patch also made me nauseous and caused bleeding so severe that they had to put me on progesterone pills for three cycles to try and stop it. The next year, my doctor found an incarnation of the Pill that didn’t mess with my system and I was happily on it for 4-5 months until I missed a dose and had to deal with breakthrough bleeding. By the time the breakthrough bleeding was over, Jon and I were pondering the idea of a family so I just never renewed my prescription. We had no problems conceiving Daniel and thoughts of contraception left my mind until after his birth.

For those new to this blog, let me put Daniel’s birth succinctly: he was born by emergency c-section at 29.5 weeks because I developed HELLP Syndrome. In addition to multiple organ systems threatening to fail, I also had a 30% placental abruption so I was also bleeding out when they opened me up. I was in the hospital for 6 days and he didn’t come home until he was 2 months old, a month earlier than they were estimating. My first order of business was getting back on my anti-depressants because I was so susceptible to PPD that I had a number of people watching me for it. My second order of business was getting back on the Pill because I did *NOT* want to be pregnant again after what had happened to me. My odds of having HELLP Syndrome again are around 20% and that scared the daylights out of me. I spent the next 2 1/2 years on the Pill.

So what changed?

In August 2011, I injured a muscle in the back of my leg and it took its sweet time in healing. Daniel was being treated for a blood clot that had developed from his central line while he was in the hospital so there was the potential risk of me developing one. After having a venous Doppler done (easiest ultrasound EVER), we ruled out a clot but it still unnerved me a bit that it was even a consideration because I was on the Pill. At the same time, I was getting to be good friends with a lot of Catholic women who were faithful to Church teaching, including Katie of NFP and Me. Reading her posts on the subject as well as what a few others wrote made me re-think the Pill. I’m one of those weirdos who reads the packaging insert for all her medications and the packaging for the Pill (at least Levlen) talked about strokes, high blood pressure, and a number of side effects. After the scare about a blood clot in my leg, I really did not feel comfortable being on it. Finally, I just didn’t refill it after I finished a month’s dose and after briefly going back on (and forgetting pills left and right), I have been free of hormonal birth control for a year.

I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t terrified of getting pregnant but what I’m really finding is that I’m not in favor of using artificial means to suppress pregnancy. My body told me exactly when it was ready to have a baby in no uncertain terms and I didn’t have problems with fertility because I listened to it. It begs the question of whether or not I could avoid pregnancy by listening to my body and learning what signs it gives for when I’m fertile. I had a really great Anatomy and Physiology professor in college who showed us full color slides of the hormone changes that take place in a woman during her monthly cycle so the idea of NFP actually makes sense to me. My current method (which may be added to eventually) is the Lady-Comp. Every morning, it goes off at 7:30 a.m. (though I can set it to go off within a window of a couple hours in any direction) and I stick the probe under my tongue to take my temperature. Once it records it, it shows me a green light if it’s an OK day to have sex and a red light if it’s a fertile day. At the moment, I’m only getting red lights as it’s my first cycle using it but my plan is to learn about STM in addition so I have some back-up that actually relies on my body instead of using condoms or something artificial. I’m not going to lie — the idea of checking my cervical mucus grosses me out — but there is science behind the reasoning for it so I’m willing to try it.

I realized my thinking had changed last year when I was going over my med list with the nurse at my doctor’s office (my med list is pretty extensive) and when I told her that I had gone off the pill, she asked why I didn’t just ask my nurse practitioner for a prescription to another type of birth control. It was a fair question but I remember thinking “why would I want to do that???” I’m not comfy with the risks associated with the Pill, I’ve had friends who had horrible experiences with Depo-Provera, the thought of an IUD being inserted makes me contemplate celibacy, and none of the barrier methods like condoms appeal to me. I’m on so much medication because I seem to be the repository for genetic conditions on both sides of the family that I’d rather not add ONE. MORE. PILL. to my daily pill box, especially one with that many side effects. I know what the side effect statistics are and I’m one of those *special* people who is statistically likely to be affected by them. I’m sure this question is going to come up on Wednesday when I go in for my yearly physical but I’m prepared to answer it and my nurse practitioner is on my wavelength enough that I think the words “I use NFP” will be sufficient.

So there you go… a non-Catholic kinda sorta secular view on NFP. Now if anyone knows of a good mason who can help to repair the gigantic hole in the brick wall barrier around my sex life, let me know. 🙂

7 Quick Takes: My Life As It Is Sung

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7 Quick Takes

I am feeling pretty flattened by a cold that may/may not be pondering a turn to bronchitis so thinking of unique and interesting Quick Takes is not on my list this week. Instead, please accept 7 songs that are speaking to me at the moment.

— 1 —

“Washed by the Water” by NEEDTOBREATHE. (Thanks, Kassie.) This is so incredibly relevant to my life as a pastor’s wife, especially when Jon’s parishes have gotten bitey. It’s such a blessing to know that I am “washed by the water”, that I’m a child of God through it all.

— 2 —

“Give Me Jesus” by Fernando Ortega. It’s a hymn that we sing in church and I love Fernando Ortega doing it because he limits the instrumentation to piano and guitar. It moves me because one of the things I want most in my day is just Christ’s presence with me.

— 3 —

“On Jordan’s Stormy Banks I Stand” by Jars of Clay. There’s been a lot of death among my friends in the blogging world lately so this one is on my mind. I lovelovelove it because it reminds me of the hope we have in being with God after we die and the fact that this world is not our home.

Speaking of such things, please keep praying massively for Dwija of House Unseen and her family The funeral for baby Nicholas is tomorrow at 11 a.m. and they will need much in the way of prayer for comfort, strength, and peace.

— 4 —

“Whom Shall I Fear” by Chris Tomlin. There was a shooting of a police officer in my small town in January and it was definitely a tough week for us. He was a K-9 officer and all of us felt so much pain for his canine partner who couldn’t understand why his master had departed. I was out for a late night Jack in the Box run (don’t judge) and this came on the radio. It was seriously perfect timing.

— 5 —

“Who Am I” by Casting Crowns. This has been a favorite since I heard it on the radio while driving back from Appleton when we lived in Minnesota. My father-in-law reminds me frequently to “remember not only who you are but whose you are.” This song answers that beautifully.

— 6 —

“The Way” by Jeremy Camp. I am not at all ashamed to admit that I sing along with the radio in the car. LOUDLY. 🙂 This is one of my favorites to sing along with whether it be on KLOVE, Air1, or a mixed CD. I may have also cranked up the volume and blasted it to drown out inappropriate music from other cars at stoplights… a few times.

— 7 —

“God’s Not Dead” by the Newsboys. This is another song I love to belt out in the car when it comes on the radio. I haven’t used it to drown out inappropriate music from car stereos at stoplights only because I didn’t have it on a CD… until now. 😀 With the confusion over the Pope offering a plenary indulgence for those who follow World Youth Day on Twitter, I thought it was appropriate for this week. By the way, the best line from the article linked in this Quick Take is from the last paragraph:

The worst headline came from the normally careful Slate: Pope Francis is not offering indulgences ??in exchange for Twitter followers.?? He has plenty of Twitter followers. But he??d probably exchange a few hundred of them for headline writers who actually read the story.

I love the wit of Fr. James Martin, S.J. and I recommend his book Between Heaven and Mirth very highly.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

Five Favorites: Miscellanea (IX)

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Five Favorites

One

Not a favorite. Let me be clear: this one is NOT a favorite. Dwija from House Unseen just lost her son Nicholas at 21 weeks 3 days gestation. Please send prayers, positive energy, good thoughts, or whatever you do to her and the rest of the Borobia family at this time. I’m wishing I lived anywhere within driving range so I could bring them food, take care of the littles, hug them, and cry with them. Such is the nature of bloggy friendships — we may never meet in person but we know each other by our souls.

Two

Jenn’s Litany Run. Jenn has discerned her vocation as being a nun with the Norbertine Canonesses but in order to enter in August, she has to be debt-free. She has $33K of student loans to pay off and someone has offered to match any donations between now and July 31st. That means that $25 becomes $50, $100 becomes $200, and so on. Go on over and toss a few bucks her way.

Three

The shirt mentioned in #4 on Kelly’s Five Favorites this week. Kelly commented that she needs a shirt that says “socially awkward and unable to shut up.?? If that shirt is ever printed, I seriously need a copy. I seem to be putting my foot in my mouth this week and just opening it to switch feet.

Four

Robitussin. I’m fighting allergy crud that has migrated to my chest so I was up until 4 because breathing hurt. Robitussin is getting rid of some of the crud. I saw my nurse practitioner today and it’s apparently not an infection so I’m on orders to get intimate with my inhaler to deal with the breathing issues and she ordered up some Tessalon pearls to help with the cough. Robitussin has helped though.

Five

Trader Joe’s Honey. One thing that irks me is the fact that a lot of the honey you buy in the grocery store isn’t from the US and some of it isn’t honey. There was an investigation by one of the Seattle newspapers in 2008 or 2009 that showed antibiotics in honey that was imported from China and as I was working for an import brokerage at the time, this didn’t surprise me. One of the store brand honeys that they tested that was what it said it was came from Trader Joe’s so I’ve been buying my honey from them if I don’t have the option of getting it from the beekeepers themselves.

Go love up Hallie and the others.