I’m feeling icky from the yuckiness that is either:
a.) a migraine
b.) a sinus infection
c.) the crud that’s going around
Since I need some cheering up, could y’all like leave me a comment about why you read this blog? I know I’m being a drama queen, but it would make me feel better…
OK God… what’s up with all the stinkin’ forest fires?
Jen, those stinkin’ forest fires were started by the lightning you were admiring a few weeks ago.Â? Besides, the forest renews itself through them.
And the people whose houses are burning down?
They knew the dangers when they built their houses in the middle of the forest.
Tell them that.Â? Now how about sending the smoke west rather than east?Â? Or do you get some kind of sick enjoyment out of my sinus and allergy issues?
Quit whining and take some Sudafed.Â? No wait… you can’t take that.Â? Try a nice warm shower and those saline rinses that Tom and Dr. Amy told you about doing.Â? You haven’t done those in how long???
And exactly how do I do this when the water smells like sulfur?
My aren’t we full of kvetching tonight.
Well the headache from the lack of glasses isn’t helping my mood.
I’ll work on expediting the glasses to you.Â? In the meantime, read Psalm 8 on the majesty of Creation, take some Aleve for the headache, and go curl up in a dark room with your black creature.Â? Capeche?
Capeche LORD.Â? Amen.
To the people who make my frames:
Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease hurry up and send them to Pearle Vision so that they can mail them to me.Â? The eye strain and headaches and inability to drive is getting really annoying.
Snuggles,
me
(I am going to admit right here and now that I’m ripping this idea off from Sir Sours. After all… I’m religious not schizophrenic as Herr Pisco would say.)
Yo God… we need to discuss a few things.
Jen! So nice of you to talk to me at a time other than your daily devotions! By the way, you realize that you should ideally pray even when you’re not going through Sacred Space, right?
Point taken. Now what’s with this acid reflux? I’m asking you for health and strength and all good things and you’re giving me this stinkin’ acid.
Said stinkin’ acid is from the garlic bread you ate at 3 a.m. and the cans of soda you’ve consumed today. Have you ever thought about giving up soda for a reason other than Lent?
Ummm… did it last year and then you let my gallbladder become a dead lump of flesh so that I was living on clear liquids like ginger ale?
You know that I created you perfect and that included a gallbladder that was designed to fulfill a certain purpose. You’re the one who downed the McD’s as a child and all those carbs.
And you knit me in my mother’s womb and gave me the predisposition to high cholesterol. As for creating things perfect, why did you have to create rattlesnakes? I spent all morning terrified that I was going to step on one.
We’ll discuss the whole creation issue later and I recommend that you look at what I said to the last person who asked that question.
I know… read those chapters in Job. That’s very nice. Now onto the job front: am I going to be subbing this year? Do you happen to have any bright ideas about what you want me to do if that doesn’t work out?
Jen, have you not forgotten what Jeremiah told the Israelites when they were in Babylon? I’ll give you a hint: you quoted it to all your frosh in college.
OK… so you know the plans you have for me. Mind enlightening me as to what you’re gonna do? I mean… it would be *nice* to know and all.
Jen, Jen Jen. You need to learn to trust me. By the way, you need to go sing at both services tomorrow.
Are you going to give me good sleep and not keep me awake after I pray for sleep like you did last night so that I can be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and not rip peoples’ heads off?
That’s up to you and your Coke addiction.
*rolls eyes* Fine, I’ll sing tomorrow but you’d better help me get sleep tonight without the use of pharmaceuticals or ethanol-based liquids!
Good khouria. By the way, keep up the intercessing on behalf of others. It builds character and shows others my love.
Will do. Amen and all that jazz.
I was at TEH EVIL STORE today and saw the following on the label of a bottle of honey:
Og trans-fats!!!!
[sarcastic] That is just soooooo good to know! I mean, like, I hate it when my honey is all fatty and stuff? And it is, like, so good to know that I’m not going to get heart disease from these bee secretions![/sarcastic]
OK… honey is all sugar — why would anyone worry about trans-fats in their flipping honey?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
It’s been said that the best food is the stuff that doesn’t have labels on it promoting its nutritional value… like the fruits and vegetables in the produce section?
Let it be said that liquid nitrogen is evil stuff when sprayed on skin for the purpose of removing moles and beauty marks that may or may not be cancerous.Â? I was seriously having to suppress the urge to swear today when my doc was spraying it on my chest and back!
And of course, I get to go back for more punishment next week.Â? Oh freaking joy…
Even though I got enough sleep last night, I can’t seem to shake the vale of exhaustion that has come over me.
This could be due to several things:
[+] the flipping heat
[+] the lack of caffeine and sugar in my body (since I was living on Coke for 2 weeks as it was one of the few things that killed the taste of the Biaxin and Ceftin)
[+] working 4 days this past week
I have two pages left to translate for the Blogathon and need some encouragement to do them.Â? Anyone want to come online and be my cheerleader?Â? 🙂