Our last guest poster is Mandi who is one of the most inwardly (and outwardly!) beautiful women I know. She is my right hand when it comes to trying to come up with fundraising ideas for Kaia and I appreciate her help so much!

When I think of a Proverbs 31??well, to be honest, I try not to think of Proverbs 31. For me, those verses are daunting, a reminder of the kind of wife I should be but often fail to be. A Proverbs 31 woman seems perfect, unattainable. That is, until I get to verse 30: ??Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.??

Most of Proverbs 31 focuses on what a virtuous wife does: she provides for the material needs of her family, she is thrifty, cares for the poor, and speaks with wisdom. It??s easy to go through this ??list??, verse by verse and think of situations in which I have failed to fulfill these tasks. But verse 30 is one of the few verses that describe qualities which are not necessary for a virtuous woman to possess, in this case charm and beauty. While a good woman may be charming or beautiful , she need not be. What a relief!

You see, when I think of a perfect wife, I envision someone whose outward perfection matches that of her inner life. She appears lovely, poised, and charming. Some days that could describe me, most days it does not. This verse is a reminder that outward appearance is not only unimportant, it also can be deceiving. That??s not to say that we shouldn??t try to look our best or that all women who put time into looking beautiful are vain or acting charming are deceitful, simply that these things are not the basis of virtue.

When Jen presented this project, I read through Proverbs 31 several times discerning which verse to select. Each time, this verse spoke to my heart. Since my daughter was born in December 2011, I have struggled to feel physically beautiful. I often feel beautiful in other ways; I believe the love of a wife for a husband and a mother for her child is beautiful in itself and I strive to perfect my beauty in this way. But physically, I??ve felt anything but lovely. On days when I don??t work, I usually don??t leave the house because I??m embarrassed to be in public. I??ve always struggled with blemished skin but since Lucia was born, it??s been absolutely awful. While I had some body image and self-esteem issues as a teenager, since meeting my husband, I??ve felt very comfortable in my skin. I don??t tend to put much stock into physical appearance, but over a year of looking in the mirror and seeing ugly red and blemished skin has caused my self-worth to slowly diminish to almost nothing.

??A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.??

Proverbs 31 is a beautiful reminder that I need to return to looking at myself through God??s eyes and not the eyes of the world. Open any woman??s magazine and there will be article upon article about how to appear more charming, how to look more beautiful. Yet, even if you ??perfect?? your beauty and charm, these things do not last. If you seek to attain eternal life, you must cultivate in yourself everlasting virtues.

A God-fearing woman may be invisible in the eyes of society, but to those that she encounters, she is a blessing. Beauty and charm rarely have the ability to transform lives, but a woman who loves the Lord leaves a lasting mark of love, grace, and dignity with her loved ones. I may not be described as beautiful or charming, but I am praise-worthy in the eyes of the Lord. If God sees value in me, who am I to say I am without value?

Mandi is a twenty-something wife to David and mother to Lucia. When she??s not changing diapers, teaching Spanish, or playing word games, she??s most likely blogging at Messy Wife, Blessed Life.

Our guest poster today is Amanda who has my respect not only because she’s a woman of immense valor, but because she’s also a youth minister. ESHET CHAYIL!!!!

??Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all.?? ?? Proverbs 31:29 (NAB)

Upon reading Proverbs 31:29 I have a knee-jerk reaction to say, ??Surely I have not excelled them all. God could not be talking about me.?? Then comes the thought that not only have I not excelled other women, but that I can??t even be counted among the ??many?? women of proven worth. All at once I??ve disregarded this entire verse because I??m certain it doesn??t apply to me. Proverbs 31 must be talking about some mythical woman who doesn??t exist in my reality.

But what if, for just a second, we consider the possibility that Proverbs 31:29 could actually be referring to each and every one of us? Then what? Our worth isn??t proven because we are perfect or sinless. In fact, our worth isn??t proven by any thing we do. We can rise while it is still night and distribute food to the household (v.15), we can reach out to the poor (v.20), we can do all the things that the previous verses describe and still not have our worth proven. Our worth isn??t proved by what we do, it is proved by who we are. Our worth comes from God and shines forth in our character, by being virtuous and faithful women. When the going gets tough, we fall to our knees in prayer. We recognize that it is God who proves our worth time and time again. There are many women of proven worth because they realize their worth is not of their own doing, but God??s. When we stop trying to prove our own worth and let Him find us worthy then we join the host of women this verse refers to.

This still begs the question, ??If there are so many women of proven worth, how can I excel them all??? We excel the other women by being who God created us to be: ourselves. St. Paul spends much of 1 Corinthians 12 talking about how we are each given a different gift. No one else on earth gets to be me, nor do I get to be anyone else on earth. God has called me to be me, here, in this time and in this place for a specific person. I exceed other women of proven worth by being me, by striving to fall more deeply in love with Him. God gave me special gifts and He gave you a special gift, a unique call to build up His Kingdom and glorify His name. Are you answering that call or are you bogged down by the art of comparison? Do you have yourself convinced that other women are doing ??it?? (whatever ??it?? is) better than you? Rid yourself of those thoughts because God is calling you some place unique and meant just for you. Follow Him there.

In reality, Proverbs 31:29 is meant for each of us. God finds us all worthy and proves our worth time and time again. He renews our worth when we turn our hearts towards Him and then He sends us out to build up His Kingdom in a unique way. By following His path for our lives we exceed all other women because only we can live out God??s call for us as individuals. You are a woman of proven worth, beloved by God, and invited to serve Him like only you can.

A woman after the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus, Amanda is also a Colorado native and can hardly imagine living anywhere else. She graduated from Belmont Abbey College in North Carolina in 2009 with a Bachelor’s in Theology, as well as minors in Psychology and Philosophy. Amanda works as a youth minister, and has a heart for women’s ministry. Her personal blog can be found at worthy of Agape.

Our poster today is Jenna who has mad coding skillz because I didn’t have to even *TOUCH* her piece — I just cut and pasted it without having to mess with with aligning pictures or anything.

I did something really original with my Catholic mom blog: I named it after a verse in Proverbs 31…I know, right? But, there is a reason we are all so in love with this Proverb: we often complain that being a wife and mother doesn’t come with instructions, but here they are. It is laid out pretty clearly. Our pesky human-ness just makes it a little difficult to follow.

So, which verse is my blog named for? Proverbs 31:28. And I like a lesser used translation, so my verse is from the good ol’ NRSV.

²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her happy;
her husband too, and he praises her:
²⁹ ??Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.??

Her children rise up

Let’s start with a hard one. For me, this is THE hardest. This part implies that the mother is already awake when her children rise. She didn’t set an alarm with good intentions only to turn it off without a second thought each and every morning. Who would do that? I’m sorry. I would. I would do that.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: The only thing that has ever even come close to motivating me is this amazing post. Genius, seriously.

and call her happy

If someone asked your kids to describe you, what would they say? I’m pretty sure they would say something of the vague variety (mommy is nice but she yells sometimes). Take that with a grain of salt; they have no idea what they are talking about half of the time. But, what about when they get older? How will they remember you? Always sitting on the couch with a laptop? (Mine might…) Always complaining/procrastinating/making excuses/fill in your own blank?

On top of considering our children’s views of our own happiness, what are we teaching them about theirs? Do we show them an example of happiness so they know how to deal with other emotions? Everyone experiences the whole gamut of emotions, of course, but a truly happy person can gracefully deal with moments (and sometimes long periods) of sadness, despair, anger and the like.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: People often put a lot of emphasis on finding your passion in life, getting a hobby, surrounding yourself with good friends. It’s not always that easy. Instead, find the happiness in the mundane. Instead of dreading and then rushing through the dishes, focus on the moment you are in. That is what you are doing in that moment. Be there.

her husband too

If you stay at home, does your evening look like this too: Husband comes home: “How was your day?” You say, “The kids were insane. I’m so tired. I can’t take this anymore. I need some me-time. Just don’t talk to me for a while.” Is that just me? I really try not to do this, but it happens. And, honestly, if it’s not every single day, Mike doesn’t really mind. In fact, he is super helpful. But, that kind of attitude easily becomes habit, especially if your husband is the very first adult-ish person you’ve seen all day. I don’t ever want to hide or bury my feelings when it comes to Mike, but overall, I want him to see me as a happy individual.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: Remind yourself that your husband doesn’t deserve your leftovers. Start your conversation with the happiness of your day before you lay it on him.

and he praises her

Is there any better feeling than when your husband is proud of something you do? Maybe I sound stupid saying that, but for me, it’s true. I mean, I married him for a reason: I really love him a whole lot. And, when someone you’re that crazy about loves what you’re doing and how you’re living, it’s pretty cool. Mike loves to brag about my blog and my freelancing. He thinks it’s so cool that I am able to stay home, do what I love and make money in the process. And, not so secretly, I get a little kick out of hearing him do it.

But, what about when no one notices what you’re doing each day? No one thanks you for dinner, for changing the empty toilet paper roll, for wiping that sticky crap off the wall. That’s usually the case, amiright? They don’t even notice, let alone praise you and give you all of the trophies and certificates you undoubtedly deserve. This part of the verse is asking a lot in regards to those feelings. Even if we aren’t getting the accolades, we need to do it anyway.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: This is so so so hard, but I try to keep one idea in mind (and I’m not saying I do this with extreme grace or even an ounce of it): we aren’t doing these things for the praise, or to make ourselves feel useful or even for our family believe it or not. We’re doing it for Him. You know who I mean. Him. We are taking care of our loved ones because God calls us to; it’s our vocation as wives and mothers. Darn, I know.

Oops. How did that get in there?

So, how do you live this verse? Any more pro-ish tips than I gave?

Jenna is a former HS English teacher turned stay-at-home-mom to her daughter Ellen and stay-at-home uterus to a baby boy unnamed at the moment. She spends her days taking care of her charges, freelancing and creating content for her blog, Call Her Happy. Sometimes she cleans things too.