The Simple Woman’s Daybook: October 9, 2012

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY October 9, 2012

Outside my window… dark and cloudy. It was only 75F today which is glorious. I’m kind of bummed that the temperatures are going back up to normal (80’s) next week.

I am thinking… that I miss fall in the Midwest (Minnesota and Ohio). I loved 4 distinct seasons and seeing the trees looking like they were on fire with color.

I am thankful… for Jessica’s baby being born healthy. Go visit her and show her some love!!!

In the kitchen… failed ravioli with pesto. Let’s just not talk about it again, m’kay?

I am wearing… grey maternity shirt and running shorts.

I am creating… ideas for various things.

I am going… to get some quality time with a friend tomorrow.

I am wondering… how I’m going to make it until the election. The attack ads are wounding my soul. I’m seriously pondering the idea of sending tinfoil hats to the National Republican Congressional Committee based on the conspiracy theory ads they’re running. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee is also on my sh*t list.

I am reading… Bossypants by Tina Fey. Hopefully, I’ll be able to finish it this weekend with all the driving going on.

I am hoping… my absentee ballot arrives soon. I can’t wait to vote! I just wish they included an “I voted!” sticker with it.

I am looking forward to… Morning Prayer and hanging out with Anne.

Around the house… *sticks fingers in ear* Lalalalalalala! I can’t hear you!

I am pondering…

A favorite quote for today… “Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.” — Martin Luther

One of my favorite things… the quiet time after everyone goes to bed.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Morning Prayer tomorrow, shoe-shopping and finishing paperwork on Thursday, heading to San Jose on Friday, and wedding of a good friend on Saturday.

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Regarding My Quick Takes on Being the 47% (V)

I’m picking this thread back up after a week or so off to take care of my sick toddler who then gave me his cold. Anyway, I wanted to do a post with tips on dealing with foodstamps, Medicaid, SSA, and similar programs.

[+] Keep all your necessary documents in one folder. It will help when you have to bring in birth certificates, marriage certificates, copies of social security cards, copies of driver’s licenses, copies of your lease/mortgage, utility bill, or whatever else they require.

[+] Never give them original documents if you’re just dropping paperwork off. Believe me, you will never see said documentation again because they will lose it, especially if this is a document that is completely essential for your taxes. Your bank can print out copies of statements for various accounts and you can make copies of paystubs. Make two copies of everything so that you have another copy to submit after they lose all your documentation for the first time.

[+] Get the name of the person you meet with or talk to each time. I know that when I was fighting with the SSA last year, I would talk to a different person each time because my assigned person never answered her phone. I kept track of everyone I talked to and the time I spoke to them because it was ammo I could use when I requested a supervisor.

[+] If you aren’t satisfied, ask for a supervisor. My never-fail trick for getting stuff done is to call my case worker and then her supervisor and then her supervisor’s supervisor, adding a new level of supervisor each time I call and get nowhere. I’ve even left messages on all these peoples’ answering services twice a day if necessary. It might take a few days but eventually, you will get enough people irritated with your messages that they will do whatever you want in order to get you to leave them alone. 🙂

[+] In the process of making a nuisance of yourself, be polite to a fault. I’ve heard it said that if you haven’t been kicked out of your local SSA office, you aren’t trying hard enough. (This holds true for the Pomona office of the SSA.) Rather than ripping people a new one (which is totally understandable given the process and hoops one has to jump through), be insanely polite. Better yet, be passive-aggressively sweet when you leave voicemails telling people to get off their butts, when you explain that it has been two months and this is unacceptable, and when you explain that you have left messages on their supervisor’s voicemail telling them how incompetent said worker is. It makes it harder for them to say that you are being abusive and to make up excuses as to why they’re not playing ball.

[+] Remember that some of these workers are counting on you giving up before your benefits are approved. There are some genuinely wonderful social workers out there and I want to say that the majority of them really do give a crap about the people they help. The others, however, are of the opinion that the harder you make it, the less likely the person will make it through the gauntlet. As hard as it is to do, keep the pressure on your worker if they seem to be working against you. If you do indeed qualify for benefits, fight for them.

The thing that keeps me fighting and actually gives me hope is a talk given by a fellow pastor’s wife in Montana who works for the Department of Human Services in Great Falls. I think the best thing she said is that she explains to her clients that it could easily be her sitting in their chair. Her empathy struck me and it gives me faith when I have to deal with some form of social services.

OK… any other topics I should be covering with this? I’d love your feedback.

Run for Courage/Catholic Exchange Virtual 5K

When Cari of Clan Donaldson posted about the Catholic Exchange Virtual 5K, I thought it looked interesting. I mean, what other 5K’s offer the option of limping or crawling — it was totally a win-win for me.

Catholic Exchange Virtual 5K

Around the middle to end of August, I started paying attention to what S (Daniel’s former physical therapist from Easter Seals) was posting on Facebook about Run for Courage that would be taking place on the same day as the Virtual 5K. She and I are both fans of International Justice Mission and it seemed like a cool event in which I could participate. An added bonus: they offered a 5K option which meant that I would be able to do the Virtual 5K without having to figure out a place to run with a route that would be around 5K so I went ahead and signed up. Over the next month, I blegged for sponsors and raised $150. I always meant to go for a walk and actually train but things like my fibromyalgia got in the way.

On Saturday, I got up at 5:20 a.m. and packed Daniel’s dude bag with diapers, wipes, Cheerios, goldfish, and apple juice while Jon (who had come out to the living room around 5 a.m.) got Daniel ready. We were out of the house by 5:50 and in Elk Grove by 6:15 where we would be meeting S and the members of her church that were taking part. It was the first time she had seen Daniel since he turned 3 (almost 6 months ago) and she was impressed by his progress. While we waited for people to come, I installed Daniel’s car seat in her car and tried to be chipper even though it was seriously too early for me to be charming. After stashing Daniel’s stroller in someone else’s car, we prayed and headed to Folsom where the race was going to be held. Since I wasn’t driving, I was able to eat my bagel and drink my latté. (Our rendezvous point was right next to $tarbux. Woo.) We got to the park around 7:00 a.m. and parked about 1/4 mile away. (There were probably 5000 people there — parking was insane.)

After getting our bibs and changing shirts, we lined up according to the race we’d be running (or walking in my case) and they had people warm up. The 10K people went first and then the 5K runners were allowed to leave. The walkers (like me) were last and I managed to start out well. My goal was to be under an hour and it seemed attainable. I started doubting it though when we hit the first mile marker and I was already feeling the burn. I kept moving though and grabbed water when we hit the water station around halfway through. One really cool thing was that the race organizers had recruited volunteers to be cheerleaders and as pathetic as it sounds, they were a blessing.

Once I hit the second mile marker, I realized that I had forgotten to take my inhaler before starting. (Bad asthmatic! No cookie!) I was starting to get pain across my chest and I probably should have stopped at that point. Then again, this is me we’re talking about and I’m notorious for ignoring my body and just pushing myself like nothing else. I almost cried when we hit the third mile marker and the sign said, “You’re almost done!” Yeah, I seriously wanted to *be* done at that point and I was resenting the perkiness of that sign. I kept moving (I did the whole 5K without stopping) and with 30 yards to go, S spied me at the finish line and opted to join me and push Daniel’s stroller for the last little bit. My time was 1:04:24 — a little over 4 minutes more than my goal of being under an hour but I had also been pushing probably 45 lbs of kid + stroller for 3.1 miles. (I would have easily been under 45 minutes if it had been just me walking.) Before we had crossed the line, S had tossed me a water bottle and once I was over the finish line, she took Daniel while I grabbed some fruit and a cereal bar. I also discovered that my inhaler had fallen out of my cosmetic case in my purse and it took a few minutes to find the canister portion so I could take a few hits off of it. Once I had drained my water bottle, my chest stopped hurting so much and the pain largely vanished after two puffs of Albuterol.

I was definitely the last one over the finish line of the church group with which I was hanging out but that was fine — my goal was to complete it, not vie for a good finishing time. One of the women had come in 3rd overall in the 10K and first in her age group so we stayed around to cheer for her when she got her prize. After this, we loaded up and headed back to Elk Grove. Once I had been dropped off and done my Elk Grove errands, I headed home and tossed Daniel and myself into the shower. (Both of us are allergic to grass and we were in stubble all morning.)

Me after the race.
My bibs.

The top picture is me (un-Photoshopped or airbrushed) before my shower. The bottom picture is my race bib next to the Virtual 5K graphic.

7 Quick Takes: Back to Normal This Week

7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

I’m taking part in Run for Courage on Saturday. We’re raising money for organizations that help victims of sex trafficking become whole again. You *know* you want to sponsor me. And no, I’m not running. My philosophy on these things is “I only run when chased” and I have a feeling that if I tell that to the leader of our team, she’ll chase me for 3 miles. (She’s a half-marathonner. I put nothing past her.)

— 2 —

You see that cute little boy on my sidebar? His name is Brett and he needs a mama. Are you possibly his mama? Go check out his profile and show him some love.

— 3 —

We’ve had a pretty interesting discussion on social services going on here since my Quick Takes last week. We’ve talked about problems with various social programs, discussed experiences, talked about solutions, and I hope this series of posts has been a starting place for some conversations about “the 47%”. My offer still stands: if you have experience (life or otherwise) in this area, I’d love a guest post. My email address is jen at grace-filled dot net.

— 4 —

I had a guest post this week over at Life Happens When. Go on over and read how life happens when you have a premature baby. There’s a lovely picture over there of me asleep with Daniel in the NICU.

— 5 —

Holy NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles season premieres, Batman! Those were some amazing season premieres. I like NCIS as a show more than I like the spin-off so I probably enjoyed that one more though I did like the complete twist at the end of NCIS: Los Angeles. On Wednesday morning as I was sleepily putting Daniel’s lunch together for school, it struck me that there are some parallels between ghost in C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce and the villain episodes leading up to the season finale and then the season premiere for this season of NCIS. Both the ghost and the villain lost sons and allowed their grief to cloud their judgement. This clouded judgement resulted in them both making foolish decisions. In the case of the ghost, she gave up heaven. In the case of the villain, he planted bombs on Navy ships, blew up the NCIS building on the Navy yard, killed an FBI team trying to take him down, and ended up losing his life at the end of the episode.

— 6 —

To the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and the National Republican Congressional Committee: you both suck. There were ten straight smear ads on in the three minutes before the NCIS season premiere started. 10 of them. Have I mentioned that they only covered three Congressional races? Yeah, I’m serious. Both of those groups sponsored the ads and it was actually split 50/50 down the middle. To both groups: those ads are bad for our souls. Either find something positive to say about your candidate or accept that a lot of us will be flipping channels. To the DCCC: I want the money I contributed to you back.

— 7 —

I want autumn to come. It’s supposed to be in the high 90’s this weekend. I wish I could magically be transported to New England or the Upper Midwest where the leaves are changing, the nights are cold, and the temperatures during the day aren’t horrific.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

Regarding My Quick Takes on Being the 47% (II)

I’m writing this while waiting for Daniel to wake up from his nap and also waiting for Jon and my evil twin to finish grilling my dinner. 🙂 Because of this, I’m saving Cari’s comment for tomorrow or Monday. Today, I wanted to talk about my experience with WIC because Cari references it in her comment.

My mother-in-law was one of the first women to go on WIC and I think it was with my husband (35) though I could be wrong — it could be with my sister-in-law (who is almost 30). Basically, it was created by Jimmy Carter as a way of helping a mother take care of her child. The idea was to remove a reason for the mother to abort her child so the checks are always in the name of the mother and not the boyfriend or father. You can apply when pregnant and the income threshold is 185% of the poverty level. The page with the list of state agencies is here.

I first applied in May 2010 when we were in southern California. I wish I’d been able to do a better search on which office was the closest because I ended up going to an office that was farther away from our apartment than I needed to. Also, I was usually the only white woman there which wasn’t a bad thing — just… not my usual experience. When I came in, I’d sign in and wait to be called. Daniel hated to sit still (he still hates it) so I’d stroller him around the office. They’d call me and measure him and then I’d see the nutritionist. Their chief nutritionist was a woman from Germany and I think she was so used to dealing with moms who knew nothing about nutrition and basic care of their children because she treated me like I was completely stupid. Daniel was severely underweight due to texture issues in his mouth (which is common with preemies who have been on ventilators) and she couldn’t understand why he wasn’t gaining weight. She would give me pamphlets on shakes made with ice cream that “kids like to eat” and I’d come back the next month to tell her that it didn’t work and that I couldn’t make him drink it. After my monthly (or so) fight with her, they’d print out checks for a month and make an appointment for me to come back.

When I went to the grocery store, I’d have a check with specified amounts of food on it like a gallon of milk, 16 oz. of whole grains, and 16 oz. of cheese. They give you a booklet that explains what you can and cannot use the checks for and when I first went to the WIC office, they showed me a video on what to do. When I’d check out, I’d separate the WIC items from the other things I was buying and the checkers would process the checks a certain way, making me show them my book to verify my signature. What they allow is different for pregnant women than it is for breastfeeding women (they’re big on breastfeeding) or for moms with kids of different ages.

When we moved up to northern California, it took awhile to get re-established with WIC because of Daniel’s hospital stay and the fact that my nutritionist in southern California was singularly unhelpful in giving me any idea of how to find my county office. The county office up here also is annoying when it comes to getting someone to answer the phone. Finally, I located it while I was out one day and made an appointment to come in with Daniel. That first appointment was just to get us set up in their system and they were completely chill with Daniel crawling around the room and getting into everything. The next month, I met with Nancy (one of the nutritionists) and she was just unbelievably wonderful. I had met with a pediatric nutritionist at UC Davis a few weeks earlier and Nancy wanted to hear everything they’d had to say. She helped me get things worked out to have WIC pay for a month of Pediasure while we worked through a home healthcare place to get Medicaid to pay and she even gave me some ideas on how to get him working on different textures.

The last year that I’ve dealt with WIC has been almost exactly like my appointment with Nancy — they’ve been patient about Daniel flipping out because he wants to get into things and after two appointments of Daniel tantruming, Nancy put something in the computer that allows me to come in without him as long as he stays within the bounds he needs to on the growth chart. They’ve altered checks to take out some of the milk because Daniel is on the Pediasure and also taken out the eggs because both Daniel and I are allergic to them. When I asked them why they weren’t forcing me to attend “class” like they did in southern California (a short lecture on stuff like introducing more vegetables and decreasing sugar in your child’s diet), they explained that Daniel was eating well and within good bounds on the growth chart so they weren’t going to make do that. At the appointment before Daniel started school, I asked about lunches and they gave me some ideas on what to pack that he might eat. It’s been like having my own personal nutritionists and it’s a complete change from my experience in southern California. The local office is walking distance from our parsonage and it’s clean and a place where I’d be OK with Daniel crawling on the floor. It’s cheerful-looking and the staff is wonderful. (They weren’t bad in southern California — it was just that nutritionist.)

I am an enthusiastic recommender of WIC because I honestly believe they do good things. Both offices I’ve dealt with have a social worker there some days to deal with things like food stamps, Medicaid, and other programs and I think they could also recommend a pediatrician to me if I needed one. Granted, there are experiences like the one I had in southern California but even that was at least somewhat helpful in that they still gave me the checks and it still helped out immensely with feeding all of us.

Anyone else have experience with WIC?

Regarding My Quick Takes on Being the 47% (I)

This is going to be a multi-part entry because there were a lot of comments that need to be addressed. I know that Cari’s comment needs to be its own post and it’s also early in the weekend so there may be other comments that need addressing.

The first thing I want to do is let you know what happened, what programs we’re still part of, and why.

2009: Daniel is born at 29.5 weeks. As we knew we’d be looking at a massive hospital bill for him, the NICU social worker advised us to file for SSI for him which would also make him eligible for Medicaid. Based on his birth weight (1 lb 15 oz.), he was also eligible for Social Security to write off whatever insurance did not cover of his NICU bill.

2010: We moved from Montana to California after Jon’s parish situation deteriorated. We went through our savings in about two months and ended up applying for WIC, food stamps, and Medicaid for the three of us. (We had lost Medicaid for Daniel when SSA discovered an error.) We were granted WIC but our caseworker screwed up on the food stamps and Medicaid. Jon eventually got a youth pastor position which helped a bit and started working for his parents. He also supply-preached and did funerals which also helped. (Funeral homes will frequently have pastors on-call in case a family doesn’t have a church but would like a religious funeral for their loved one.) In September, he was called to Metanoia as the interim pastor. Meanwhile, I applied for Healthy Families (California’s S-CHIP) and Medicaid for Daniel. Straight Medicaid was denied but they’d kick something in after something like $1300/month. Healthy Families was denied because you had to be without insurance for a specific period of time before you were eligible. (My mom, God bless her, paid our insurance premiums so that there would be no lapse in coverage — neither Daniel nor I could be without insurance and until last year, Daniel was uninsurable.) We also got hooked up with the Regional Center (California’s agency for developmental disabilities). In November, I reapplied for SSI for Daniel as his developmental delays qualified him.

2011: Jon was called to Metanoia full-time in January and we moved up to northern California in February. His income was still under the threshold for WIC so we transferred up here. A week and a half after moving up here, Daniel ended up in the hospital for three weeks. The hospital social workers hooked me up with California Childrens’ Services which required me to apply for Medicaid. We were granted Medicaid which would kick in after $500 in medical costs per month. Meanwhile, SSI chugged through and I had to go into the office in the town to the south of us and get that squared away. It took two months and learning how to harass the right people but Daniel finally got approved and we were granted retroactive SSI and retroactive Medicaid. California Childrens’ Services paid for his hematology appointments and his Lovenox while he still required shots and we got things transferred to the Regional Center up here who are the epitome of awesomeness. They covered physical/occupational/speech/infant program through Easter Seals and one independent contractor. Daniel’s clot (from his central line during his hospitalization in March) disappears and we’re able to be kicked out of the hematology practice and California Childrens’ Services.

2012: Daniel turns three which means that the local school district is now in charge of speech/occupational therapy. He is diagnosed with autism (thank you to the Regional Center for paying for the testing) and is in an ABA classroom. We’re still hooked up with the Regional Center and are trying to get an in-home program in place. We’re also still hooked up with WIC and will be until our income is higher than the threshold or until Daniel turns 5.

OK… onto addressing comments!

From Stacy (who, by the way, is a social worker and knows her stuff):

I get SO ANGRY when people talk about those who abuse the system. For every one person who is abusing it, I’m sure there are 100+ who aren’t. Not to mention that the system is set up for people to you know…. not really be able to get out of it! Sooo frustrating. On another note, our Medicaid/food stamp office is BEAUTIFUL. I’ve never seen anything like it but it makes me so happy that the people going there for help don’t have to feel like they need to go on antibacterials afterward.

Granted, I’m seriously mysophobic so the anti-bacterials are a given with me. However, part of the problem is that a number of programs are housed at the DPSS in Pomona and the DHHS in Sacramento and they’re both located in seriously urban areas so they get a lot of traffic. I think if I went at the moment they opened, it would be less nasty for me. (OK… I’ve actually done that with the DPSS and it was still nasty.) The WIC office I go to in northern California is beautiful and clean (and located within walking distance from me) so that’s actually a positive. The one in southern California was not bad but it was overused so it got yucky.

From Jen:

What??s sad/true is that you have to be somewhat well-educated/literate in English to be able to wade through the bureaucracy, including knowing where to get official documents, how to correctly fill out the forms, etc. My husband sees a lot of this in his line of work??with former incarcerated men trying to re-enter the community. They aren??t well educated, they don??t have certain common sense skills (like how to start looking for their birth certificate) and there??s little to no help in teaching them these types of things (that a lot of us take for granted), so it??s no wonder why many of them end up back in prison. Because it??s easier. The staff at the halfway houses and re-entry programs can only do so much to assist, but there??s not enough time, money, staff, etc. Vicious cycle.

Having done prison ministry, I can attest to this. A lot of the men I dealt with when I’d go into the local prison in Montana (a for-profit medium security prison housing inmates for the state of Montana) were from disadvantaged backgrounds so they were there after making some really bad decisions. I could totally see me going in and teaching a class in how to do all these things but I stopped going in after getting pregnant because of the potential to be taken hostage while in the prison. Granted, it’s not even the most intuitive process for those of us on the outside to do things like getting a copy of a marriage certificate because it requires knowing what county to contact and what’s needed to do so. I know it was really hard to get a copy of my birth certificate for a library card when I didn’t have a valid ID in Minnesota — I had to go to a parishioner who was a loan officer and had notary privileges to get stuff signed to make the request.

OK… heading to bed. Will write more tomorrow.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: September 17, 2012

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY September 17, 2012

Outside my window… hopefully cooling down. It’s the 16th straight day of 90F or above and in 4 days, we will have set a record.

I am thinking… that friends don’t let friends read bad Twilight fanfic. (50 Shades started out as a fanfic piece based on the Twilight books.)

I am thankful… that Jon brought me home a sandwich from Subway — even if I did have to fight the 4 furballs to eat it in peace. (3 guesses as to what was in the sandwich.)

In the kitchen… spinach salad with feta and a balsamic vinagrette for lunch today.

I am wearing… Old Navy flag shirt and running shorts.

I am going… to hope Daniel doesn’t flip out on my laptop before I finish this entry.

I am wondering… if I get geek cred for having the theme song to “The Big Bang Theory” memorized.

I am reading… Bossypants by Tina Fey. Because, you know, I’m so up on the latest trends. /sarcasm

I am hoping… to get some formatting done on the devotional book this week.

I am looking forward to… seeing my evil twin and hopefully my sister-in-law this weekend.

Around the house… *putting my fingers in my ears* I can’t hear you!

A favorite quote for today… ??We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.?? — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… sitting in a quiet chapel and listening to the birds sing.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Morning Prayer, working on the devotional book, and a barbeque with my evil twin and (hopefully!!!) my sister-in-law for the autumnal equinox.

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