Category Archives: Gold Country Life

Please Say It: Things to Say and Ways to Help Moms with Kids Who Have Special Needs

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This past week, I had a guest post over at Worthy of Agape about things not to say to the mom of a child with special needs. In one of the comments, my friend Mandi suggested that I write a post about things to say/things to do to help moms like me. Here you go, Mandi!

I really try not to complain about life with Daniel because I love him and there are so many amazing moments in life with him. However, it *is* hard at times and there are days when I’m not sure how I’m going to make it until bedtime. I know that there are a lot of really well-meaning people who would like to help and don’t know how, so here are a few things you can say/do that will make my life easier:

Compliment me on something… ANYTHING related to Daniel. Seriously, hearing that I’m doing something right in raising Daniel does help. I have a wonderful woman in the parish who finds something to compliment me on every Sunday that I make it to church, even if she’s just saying that Daniel was… exuberant that day.

Tell me how good it is to see me when I’m out doing errands by myself. If you see me at the grocery store by myself, it means that I either found a qualified respite worker to watch Daniel or that Jon is home with him. Asking me pointedly where Daniel is and mentioning that you never got to go do errands by yourself when you had kids is not going to do anything except make me ponder how best to make you shut up. Pleasepleaseplease ask me how I’m doing, compliment me on the fact that I escaped the house to go shopping, and if all else fails, compliment me on the fact that I’m wearing pants and managed to slap on some deodorant before heading out in public.

If you see me struggling with a door or having trouble wrangling the bear child, please ask me how you can help. I don’t know when it stopped being common courtesy to hold doors open for people who are having trouble entering a room or building; but I wish it would come back into fashion. Seriously, opening the door for me and keeping it open while I wrangle a stroller or try to keep my hands on Daniel will make my day better. If I’m in the checkout line at the grocery store and am having trouble getting my items on the belt, feel free to ask if I need help. It might just mean entertaining Daniel in the cart for a minute while I quickly empty all my purchases from the cart’s basket.

Treat Daniel like you would treat any other 4 year old. The people at the Trader Joe’s in Elk Grove are great examples of this. One of my favorite workers will stop and have a conversation with Daniel (albeit a one-sided one) on his way to the back of the store for something and another worker will make race car noises when he’s pushing the cart as he helps us out to the car. Both of these things will make Daniel smile and make my day nicer.

Be patient with us. I know that you’re probably in a hurry and we’re blocking your exit — I’ve been in that situation as well. However, I’m doing my best to keep things moving and if I have the stroller with me, I’m pushing close to 45-50 pounds of dead weight. If you have to brush past us, just say “excuse me”. It’s the polite thing to do.

These are my two cents. I know there are other mamas like Mary, Kelly, and Kathleen who could probably add to this list.

7 Quick Takes: Dinner Fail, Malala on The Daily Show, and Cute Animals

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

Only in Montana… I found the following stories in the Great Falls Tribune today:

Canadian man ticketed for driving 154 mph in Montana. (Did he forget that our speed limits are in miles, not kilometers???)

Montana woman too drunk to get out of her car calls 911. (I shouldn’t laugh because drunk driving isn’t a joke. However, this one just boggles the mind.)

— 2 —

A worthy cause. Malala Yousafzai was on The Daily Show this week. She rendered John Stewart speechless. There is an organization started in her name to advocate and raise money for women to receive education around the world. Go check out the Malala Fund. She is also nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and I’m hoping she wins. (She’s the youngest person ever nominated.)

— 3 —

Orphans. Do you see these two precious children?

L-R: Brett and Iris
BrettIris

Brett still needs a mama. Iris finally has a family committed to her and they are compiling their dossier to send to her country.

— 4 —

Prerequisite baseball take. I’m rooting for the Cardinals because the Giants didn’t make it to the post season. They knocked out the Pirates and will be facing Jon’s team (and mortal enemies of the Giants) the Dodgers. There will be lots of good-natured trash-talking over Twitter and Facebook during this series.

I also just saw that the Tigers beat Oakland. Things are as they should be. 😉 (Oakland is the OTHER Bay Area team and I’m still grumpy about the 1989 World Series.)

— 5 —

The zoo zoo zoo. I saw footage of the surgery that was done on the Sacramento Zoo’s tiger and the pictures don’t do justice to his size. He was sitting in the window of his enclosure and his paw was bigger than my hand! His son, CJ, is getting so big as well!

There’s also the red panda blog. We saw Kodari, the baby last month and he is adorbs!!!

— 6 —

Dinner fail. I got some of ciopinno from Trader Joe’s which I’m sure is lovely but it was too fishy for me. (It’s a seafood stew. Imagine that!) OK… onto the Gardenburgers in my freezer… which tasted weird. I finally gave up and nuked some Morningstar Farms stuff and added some baby carrots to it.

— 7 —

Research study. I got to talk to a researcher doing a project on PCOS on Friday. I wish I’d had better answers for her but it was nice to be part of a study and get to do something that might help out with eventually finding a cure for it someday.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

{Virtual} Coffee Date (vol.10)

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{Virtual Coffee Date}

Once you’re done here, go visit Karianna and the other coffee drinkers.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you how thankful I was that the traffic to UCD Medical Center this morning stayed moving. We were still late but not as late as we could have been. I think my guardian angel is a little irritated with me though (rush hour traffic was a bit daunting) so I’m going to humor them and not try to do any more travel today.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that Daniel’s peds appointment went well today. He does have toes pointed inward due to an issue with his femur but it’s not something that needs surgical correction. (His doctor even has it.) It’s a PT thing so we’ll find out what exercises to do with him after the PT for the school district takes a look.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about how Daniel’s hearing aids have made a difference and how we’ve seen the start of him talking. He’s getting LOTS of praise every time he says a word (or tries to say one) so, God willing, he might be talking by the end of this school year.

Thanks for joining me for coffee (or tea) this week. See you next week!

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: October 6, 2013

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY October 6, 2013

Outside my window… dark. I meant to finish this earlier. Oops!

I am thinking… about the traffic to Daniel’s peds appointment tomorrow. Not looking forward to it!

I am thankful… for the time this weekend with my family.

In the kitchen… nothing new.

I am wearing… grey maternity shirt and black capri sweats.

I am creating… novel plans for NaNoWriMo.

I am going… to hope for a quiet day with no surprises tomorrow.

I am wondering… what the heck is with drivers who assume that your turn signal is a request for them to pull up next to you and refuse to let you pass?!?!?!?!?

I am reading… Pastorix by Nadia Bolz-Weber.

I am hoping… Daniel goes down easily tonight.

I am looking forward to… my massage on Wednesday morning.

I am learning to ask for help.

Around the house… cleaned up real good.

I am pondering… many many things.

A favorite quote for today… ??What does seem to me poisonous, what breeds a type of patriotism that is pernicious if it lasts but not likely to last long in an educated adult, is the perfectly serious indoctrination of the young in knowably false or biased history – the heroic legend drably disguised as text-book fact. With this creeps in the tacit assumption that other nations have not equally their heroes; perhaps even the belief – surely it is very bad biology – that we can literally ‘inherit’ tradition.?? — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… flour taquitos.

A few plans for the rest of the week: peds appintment for Daniel tomorrow, massage and errands on Wednesday, and ABA therapy every day from Tuesday to Friday.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

7 Quick Takes: A Relatively Boring Week

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

Take that, Joel Osteen! I don’t remember who shared this during the week but I love it! It’s a series of /joel Osteen tweets with responses taken from some of Luther’s more *interesting* responses. As I despise Joel Osteen for many reasons, this made me proud to be Lutheran.

— 2 —

A useful tool. One of the parody accounts I follow mentioned Perfect Potluck. If my church wasn’t an older congregation, I would totally suggest this for the next gathering. I might even suggest it for the next family gathering.

— 3 —

Orphans. Do you see these two darling children?

L-R: Brett and Iris
BrettIris

Brett still needs a mama. Iris finally has a family committed to her and they are compiling their dossier to send to her country.

— 4 —

OMG NCIS!!!! I’ve loved the episodes of NCIS from the last two weeks. It was sad to see Ziva that dejected but I think it was a good way to wrap things up with her. I also love that the new NAVSEC is female. I forsee that this will be an interesting thing for story lines.

— 5 —

The Millers. I’m currently watching it and it’s interesting enough. The mom is kind of like an American version of Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances. The father is incompetent in a comic way. It’s not addicting like The Big Bang Theory is but it works for 30 minutes.

— 6 —

Respite. I’m headed to San Jose for the weekend for some respite. It’s been an insane week with some less than pleasant portions. My parents will be happy to see Daniel and I could use some TLC from my mom as well.

— 7 —

Bliss. Daniel’s latest “falling asleep” thing has been curling up in our laps while we’re watching TV and cuddling until he falls asleep. I know this isn’t a forever thing so I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

{Virtual} Coffee Date (vol. 9)

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{Virtual Coffee Date}

Once you’re done here, go visit Karianna and the other coffee drinkers.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you how well Daniel’s audiology appointment went this morning and how he wore his hearing aids for 8 STRAIGHT HOURS without taking them out. It was amazing. I just hope I can get them in correctly tomorrow as I won’t have his audiologist helping me.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about this news story and how I have no sympathy for them. (The gist of it: she ran a red light and her fine was $100 more than on the sign.) Suck it up, buttercup! You ran the light. You were caught on film. You can pay your fine. I’m glad the judge didn’t see through your sob story.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask you to pray for Mary of Passionate Perseverance. She tweeted and posted on Facebook that she and her daughter Courtney were in route to Georgetown ER after Courtney had 3 seizures in 30 minutes and turned blue. Serious prayers are needed for Courtney that the doctors can figure out what’s going on and how to treat it as well as prayers for Mary and her family because this is a terrifying situation.

Thanks for having coffee (or herbal tea since it’s pretty late at night) with me. See you next week!

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: September 29, 2013

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY September 29, 2013

Outside my window… warm. We’re getting a chill at night though.

I am thinking… about the stray cat we dropped off at the emergency vet hospital after its legs ended up under my back wheels this morning. They thankfully have a Good Samaritan policy (we can relinquish strays and they will either treat or euthanize) and it’s making me feel mildly less horrible about the situation. At least if they have to euthanize him, he got some love and care in the last hour of his life.

I am thankful… for Jon being able to drive me to the emergency vet as I’m not in any shape to drive after not sleeping last night.

In the kitchen… I microwaved some chicken and cheese taquitos from the frozen food section. #healthyeatingfail

I am wearing… forest green v-neck shirt and running shorts.

I am creating… the last of the devotions for the book and starting on plans for NaNoWriMo this year (which pretty much consists of recycling my notes from last year).

I am going… to hope that I get sleep tonight.

I am reading… Sundays in America by Suzanne Strempek Shea. I need to just buckle down and finish it this week.

I am hoping… to get some walks in this week.

I am looking forward to… seeing my parents this weekend.

Around the house… working on laundry.

I am pondering… many things internally.

A favorite quote for today… ??If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.?? -C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… Crystal Light Iced Peach Tea.

A few plans for the rest of the week: ABA therapy for Daniel on Monday/Wednesday/Friday, audiologist appointment for Daniel on Tuesday, Ladies’ Night Out on Wednesday, nail appointment on Friday morning, possibly a massage that afternoon, interview with PCOS researcher on Friday afternoon, and heading to San Jose for the weekend.

A peek into my day… a lapful last night. (Pardon my lovely double chin that only appears when my head is tilted down.)

A lapful.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook