The Simple Woman’s Daybook: November 20, 2016

For Today… November 20, 2016

Simple Woman's Daybook

Looking out my window… dark. It was chilly today with some scattered showers and temperatures in the 40’s Fahrenheit. I am really hoping my boots arrive from L.L. Bean before the snow comes!

I am thinking… about some of the political news and how to deal with it appropriately.

I am thankful… for the chance to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law later this week when they come up for Thanksgiving. There will be football involved as the Apple Cup is happening on Friday and there are some inter-family rivalries between the UW and WSU. My cousin Sarah is the president of the WSU Marching Band and my parents are UW alums so Facebook should be really fun this week!

One of my favorite things… Daniel calmly curled up asleep. I’m enjoying the quiet time to blog before I go back to sleep.

I am wearing… my Online Debate Team shirt and black capri sweats. (In other words, my jammies.) Church clothes from this morning were the usual shirt from Old Navy (charcoal today) with my black slacks and cardigan from Kohl’s. When I got home, I switched out the slacks and cardigan for jeans and a light grey hoodie.

I am creating… Excel files for my Practical Accounting homework and Access forms for my online class. Whee!

I am watching… The Big Bang Theory re-runs.

I am hoping… the advising thing I have to attend tomorrow isn’t a brain-numbing waste of my time. I’m going because it’s a hoop I have to jump through in order to register for classes but I’m not happy about being forced to do it.

I am learning… about employer taxes.

In my kitchen… we chose to just get some pizza for Sunday dinner tonight with my aunt, my uncle, and my grandmother.

In the school room… Daniel’s speech is exploding.

Post Script… someone shared this 12-step program for responding to president-elect Trump.

Shared Quote… I wrote one of my college admissions essays on this fragment of an Enya song:

My life flows on in endless song
Above earth’s lamentation
I hear the sweet though far off hymn
That hails a new creation
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing
It finds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from singing
— “How Can I Keep From Singing”

A moment from my day… I love this Audrey Assad cover of “How Can I Keep From Singing”.

Hosted by The Simple Woman.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: November 6, 2016

For Today… November 6, 2016

Simple Woman's Daybook

Looking out my window… sunny and quite nice. Weather.Com is saying temps are around 51F but it feels warmer than that. There’s definitely rain offshore and we were supposed to get hammered on Election Day, but it’s starting to look like the rain is holding off until Wednesday.

I am thinking… about my Accounting test tomorrow and what subjects I need to brush up on tonight after dinner.

I am thankful… for whoever found my pocketbook and turned it in at Haggen on Friday. It’s good to know that there are honest people out there.

One of my favorite things… the view of evergreen forests from my bedroom window.

I am wearing… a v-neck shirt and jeans. Church clothes were a dress, camisole, cardigan, tights, and my black flats.

I am creating… Access queries. Fun.

I am reading… Trump fans’ erroneous thoughts on President Obama defending an pro-Trump protestor at a rally. Whether or not you like him or agree with him, you have to acknowledge that Obama is a class act and so incredibly different from the degenerate nominated by the Republicans to replace him. He told the crowd that they needed to respect the protestor because he was veteran, elderly, and we live in a country where we value free speech.

I am hoping… Hillary wins on Tuesday. I’m not a fan of hers but the alternative of Trump as president makes me nauseated.

I am learning… how to perform queries in Microsoft Access.

In my kitchen… Dad is making something for Sunday dinner.

In the school room… Daniel is saying more and more words. It’s like someone turned on a faucet in the speech section of his brain.

Post Script… The Cubs set a record for the 7th largest gathering in human history. (My friend’s son described it as “the zombie apocalypse with Cubs fans”.) Beat that, Cleveland!

Shared Quote… “The American ideal is not that we all agree with each other, or even like each other, every minute of the day. It is rather that we will respect each other’s rights, especially the right to be different, and that, at the end of the day, we will understand that we are one people, one country, and one community and that our well-being is inextricably bound up with the well-being of each and every one of our fellow citizens.” – Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, M.D.

A moment from my day… This fits my twisted sense of humor.

This fits my twisted sense of humor.

Closing Notes: An ear worm for you!

Hosted by The Simple Woman.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: Mental Health

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

Yesterday, I spoke about the caretaker parent needing to have time scheduled in for recharging. In the past, I’ve been told that making such a request was unreasonable and as the mother, it’s my duty to stay home with my son.

Yeah… no.

My mom stayed home with us until we were 4 years old and then had to put us in preschool/daycare because she had to go back to work. (My dad was a mechanical engineer and Silicon Valley was having job issues at the time. It was not economically feasible for her to continue staying home with us, even though she wanted to.) As much as I hated being left at daycare every morning (and howled for months every time we were dropped off), I did have fun and was in daycare after school every day until my brother and I were old enough to stay home by ourselves. When I got pregnant with Daniel, I expected that he’d be in daycare and I’d be working. The bump in that road came when he was born so prematurely. Daycares *REALLY* don’t like preemies because they tend to have lingering problems and their immune systems are really fragile. While we were living in Montana, Jon and I managed to juggle our work schedules so one of us could be home with Daniel every day. I didn’t start being a housewife and stay-at-home mom until we moved to southern California.

So… having said that, having that time to recharge (and I’m talking about maybe an hour or two to myself at the end of the day) is essential to my well-being and it’s not an unreasonable request. After all…

You can't give what you don't have.

There is such a thing as caregiver fatigue and I’ve seen some pretty scary cases of it in my own family. The caregiver needs to have some break from what they’re doing — it is impossible to give that much without doing something to recharge your mental/emotional reserves.

Another aspect of mental health is your spiritual life. If you’re atheist, that might look like keeping your belief in good people. If you’re me, that means getting some time each day to pray and read Scripture. What that prayer time/quiet time/devotional time looks like is up to you but it is essential to find time for it.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: October 16, 2016

For Today…

Simple Woman's Daybook

Looking out my window… cloudy and windy with temps in the low 50’s. We missed getting hit with the worst of the big storm last night but we’ve still got some of the winds from it blowing.

I am thinking… about my Practical Accounting test tomorrow and the Excel work to get done before Wednesday.

I am thankful… we didn’t lose power last night or have any of the big trees in the yard fall on the house like it was predicted to happen.

One of my favorite things… calm nights where I can listen to music and chill.

I am wearing… chocolate brown shirt from Fred Meyer and jeans from Kohl’s. Church clothes were my burgundy Old Navy shirt and my black slacks/black cardigan from Kohl’s with my trusty black flats.

I am creating… a folder for the student files for this chapter of Excel. (We have database files that we play with as we work through the chapter.)

I am listening to… the wind outside.

I am hoping… my glasses arrive from Firmoo soon and that they do in fact fit and look good on me.

I am learning… about maintaining workbooks in Excel and adjustments in Practical Accounting.

In my kitchen… I think chicken cacciatore is on the menu tonight.

In the school room… Daniel has school pictures on Wednesday so I need to schedule in a haircut for him in the next two days.

Post Script… I was greatly amused by this during the last debate.

Shared Quote… I thought this was awesome.

My new motto.

A moment from my day… I had the song “I’ll Tell Me Ma” in my head last night and found a cool version by Dr. Eric Jones that involves body percussion. The original song is on top and the Eric Jones version is on the bottom.

Hosted by The Simple Woman.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: October 9, 2016

For Today… October 9, 2016

Simple Woman's Daybook

Looking out my window… sunny though chilly (at least to me). The Grumpy Cat Weather app on my phone says it’s in the low 60’s.

I am thinking… about people who are dismissing Trump’s statements as “locker room talk” or “jock talk”. Especially odious are the people *WHO HAVE DAUGHTERS* and are doing this. His alleged apology showed no remorse — “I’m sorry if you were offended” is narcissistic crap as is his explaining away what he did and alluding to Bill Clinton. True men don’t deflect their behavior onto others when they apologize.

I am thankful… for those I follow on Twitter who are live-tweeting the debate tonight so I don’t have to waste 90 minutes of my life watching it. (Lest I be accused of creating my own little bubble of like-minded people on Twitter, most of the people I follow are people with whom I disagree on politics.) I’d love for the mainstream media to stop moderating these debates and give them back to the League of Women Voters. There might actually be some civility if each politician isn’t trying to vie for the ability to get their soundbite into the debate.

One of my favorite things… having all of my Excel work done 24 hours ahead of when it is due.

I am wearing… blue-green shirt and black capris. Church attire this morning was my burgundy shirt from Old Navy with a black cardigan and black slacks from Kohl’s. My shoes were my amazingly awesome black flats from Naturalizer that are two years old and still going strong.

I am creating… a separate page with the comment policy for this blog. It *WAS* listed on the page with the ground rules for this site but I have some readers who apparently are illiterate and *SHOCKED* when I dare to enforce it. Having it on a separate page might solve this issue. πŸ™‚

I am reading… not enough. I need to make a better effort to commune with my e-reader more often!

I am hoping… for a relatively quiet week.

I am learning… about journalizing and posting in my Accounting class.

In my kitchen… I think Mom is making “Jimmy Chicken” tonight. It’s a family recipe.

In the school room… Daniel continues to enjoy school and even tried some of the applesauce his class made for a fall-themed activity.

Post Script… I’m hoping the research they’re doing pans out.

Shared Quote… Yay adulting!

Let them eat cake!

A moment from my day… We were blessing animals today so we sang this for our processional:

Hosted by The Simple Woman.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: IEP’s and 504 Plans

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

I’ve heard some of my homeschooling friends on Twitter talk about how they’re homeschooling their kids so that they’re not forced to have an IEP or 504 plan. I really wish I could tell them that neither one is a bad thing and that they ensure that their kids will have access to what they need in order to succeed in school.

So what are they, Jen?

An IEP is a written-out plan that spells out the special educational environment in which a student learns. (“IEP” stands for “individualized education plan”.) Putting it simply, it describes what needs to be in place instruction-wise in order for him to succeed. His covers not only educational goals but also goals for physical, occupational, and speech therapies. Every three years, they do what is referred to as a “triennial IEP” where they do very thorough testing (which is paid for by the school and/or district) to make sure that the student still needs an IEP and also to see where the student is in terms of their therapies and their psycho-social-behavioral development. To qualify, a student needs a diagnosis of one or more of 13 different disabilities and need a very specific environment in order to make progress in their education because of that disability. It came out of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) which states that individuals with disabilities are guaranteed a free and appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment possible.

A 504 plan deals with ensuring that students get accomodations needed to make progress in their education. It covers things like audiobooks, notetakers, and extended time for tests. It basically exists to level the playing field for general education. A child qualifies if they have a disability and that disability makes it harder to learn in a general education classroom. The qualifications are a little more broad than they are for a child to qualify for an IEP. It comes from Section 504 of the Rehibilitation Act of 1973.

Which one does Daniel have?

Daniel has an IEP and has had one in place since March 2012. In order to put one together or make changes, an IEP meeting or IEP amendment meeting has to be called and the IEP team has to gather. The team is comprised of me, his special education teacher, a general education teacher for the same grade level, his various therapists, a special education person for the district, and a school psychologist. If a meeting is called and someone cannot attend for whatever reason, I have to sign paperwork excusing them from the meeting. Otherwise, everyone has to be present.

What happens at an IEP meeting?

At the beginning of every meeting, I get handed a thick packet which contains all of my rights and the procedural safeguards. They are required by law to offer it to me, even if I choose to refuse it. (I usually do unless it’s the first time I’ve met with the team at that particular school and/or that particular school district.) Everyone has to sign a paper saying that they were present and I have to sign something saying that the procedural safeguard paperwork was offered to me and that I chose to refuse it, because an IEP is a legal document and could be admissible in court if I sued the school or district for violating Daniel’s rights under the IDEA Act. We go over the various goals spelled out in the previous IEP, talk about any meeting of goals and/or progress made, and what new goals they are setting or new services they want to add. At the end, I have paperwork to sign, stating that I agree with everything outlined in the plan. If I don’t agree with something, I have right to refuse to sign it and they need to fix the issue to my satisfaction.

Honestly, it’s ~2 hours once a year for the yearly IEP review and maybe 20-45 minutes for an amendment meeting which is maybe once or twice a year (if even that often).

If you want a lovely table that illustrates the similarities and differences between the two, click here.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: My Story

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

It’s interesting that this covers the month of October because I found out I was pregnant with the kidlet on October 11, 2008. It was simultaneously a joyful and terrifying thing. πŸ™‚ I was due around Father’s Day 2009 and it seemed like it was going to be a semi-normal pregnancy… until my hands started swelling in March 2009 and strange symptoms started happening. I had no idea that I was going to have to have an emergency c-section at 29.5 weeks gestation because of Class II HELLP Syndrome and that Daniel’s birth weight was going to make my 3 lb 12 oz. one seem gigantic. (Kiddo weighed 1 lb 15 oz. and was 14 1/4 inches long.) I think it’s probably good that God didn’t let me in on that little fact when Jon and I decided to try for a baby because I can *TOTALLY* see myself pulling a Jonah and figuratively fleeing to Tarshish!

Daniel was pretty tiny and he did have a lot of growing to do… but he is definitely *MY* child because he ignored the memo on all of this and decided that 3-4 months in the hospital was a little too long to hang out there. He came home on his 2 month birthday and did not require oxygen. He did have an inguinal hernia that we eventually had repaired (once he was old enough for anethesia) and ROP but that corrected itself as well.

While he was as fierce as I am about overcoming things, he did unfortunately have a 50% developmental delay and we started him in physical therapy at 13 months old, occupational therapy at 17 months old, and speech therapy a little after he turned 2 years old. He didn’t sit up until he was a little over a year and a half old and didn’t take his first independent steps until he was 2 1/2. He is only now really using a pencil well with special grips and is finally developing speech and sentence structure. The good thing is that when something developmental comes for him, it takes off like wildfire so I’m thinking he’ll probably be talking somewhat well by his next birthday?

His immune system was also compromised because of prematurity and that unfortunately meant that he could not fight off basic infections, especially respiratory ones. The scariest one was probably the one that landed him on a ventilator for a week and a half in the PICU at UC Davis Medical Center followed by a bit more than a week on the pediatric unit. We’ve also seen quite a bit of time in various pediatric ER bays at UCD and had a couple more smaller hospitalizations, the most recent one being a week-long one three years ago.

He was diagnosed with autism at age 2 1/2 and started school in an ABA preschool class at age 3. We added in-home ABA therapies a year later. Four years later, he is still in an autism-specific class but we’re OK with that and he seems to be thriving with it. Let’s just say that I have become almost an expert on IEP’s. πŸ™‚

A year ago, his pediatric neurologist diagnosed him with ADHD and put him on Adderall. While this is not a popular decision in some of the circles in which I travel (because, you know, ADHD *TOTALLY* isn’t a thing… except when you have a kid with no off switch), it’s been a lifesaver for us and for Daniel. He can sit down to play and focus on what he is doing, freeing me up to take care of my own school, do housework, take a shower, eat a meal sitting down… We’ve seen a child psychiatrist who met with us monthly and his pediatrician up here in Washington sees us regularly as well as his Adderall requires a special prescription and in-depth supervision.

So what would you like me to write about this month? Leave me a comment to let me know and I’ll see what I can do. πŸ™‚