This post contains much whining and talk of my recent bowel movements. Feel free to skip it…

I went to bed on Friday night feeling icky and woke up constipated on Saturday morning. I badgered Jon into taking me to the store to get some Ex-Lax and had to wait in line (even though there were 4 stinking cashiers standing around socializing) while some old fart in front of me counted out his total in nickels, then dimes, and finally quarters. Meanwhile, I’m almost passing out into the candy display. Fun fun fun.

The Ex-Lax worked pretty fast and I spent the rest of the day seated on my porcelain throne while the contents of my bowels liquified. I’m not sure what’s worse: liquification of bowel contents or vomiting — it’s pretty much a tie for me. I was going to try and get stuff planted but my crappy health prevented that.

I had severe stomach pain last night (probably my own doing) and didn’t get to sleep until 2:30 am. I pretty much ruled out church this morning until I heard some parishioners stop by to get bulletins. I then tossed on my running pants, ran outside, and flagged them down. I then asked them if they would take me to church if I could get ready in under 5 minutes. They said yes and I quickly tossed on church clothes (khakis, a long-sleeved shirt, and my loafers). I made it to church for the Memorial Day coffee in honor of the veterans. Since I knew that my chances of finding something edible to me were pretty slim, I brought along my travel cup with some ginger ale in it. I attempted to be social even though I was feeling like crap and did manage to talk to some people. My bowels then decided to liquify so I spent much of the first half of the service in the bathroom. When I got upstairs, I decided to sit for the rest of the service as pew aerobics would not have boded well on my stomach.

After church, we went to DeToy’s for lunch and I got a grilled chicken sandwich with tomatoes, onions, and pickles. I then watched with lust as Jon finished his cheese pizza. (I want cheese and grease and bacon and I want it NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) After coming home and taking a short rest, we headed out for graduation open houses.

The two open houses were good. I was able to eat some of the food (though I did sin and eat some forbidden stuff, which soon came back to haunt me) and I got to socialize for really the first time in 2 1/2 weeks. Since we’ve gotten home, I watched the Surreal Life reunion on VH1 and “Grey’s Anatomy”. I’ve started getting into the series so it was kind of cool to see the first episode. Hopefully I’ll get caught up this summer?

Right now, I’m sipping the last of my reduced-sodium chicken broth (which is icky — give me the regular “50% of my daily sodium intake” stuff!) and waiting for my popsicle to thaw a bit. I’m thinking that if I do one bland meal a day and clear liquids the rest of the time, I can make it until the 16th without a problem? I was told by some parishioners today to move up my surgery date. Believe me… if sexual favors worked, I would be offering them in exchange for my surgery to be moved up. I want my eating habits and my energy level to be back to normal!!!!

The crap going on with my gallbladder is leaving me really drained and really depressed. I’m starting to get small flickers of temptation to scratch and I’m doing everything I can to avoid doing it. I want to cry — I just feel so tired and run-down. I can’t walk more than a mile and a half without feeling worse than I do when I jog 4 miles. As someone who is used to walking every day, this is torture.

Maybe this is a sign that I should go to bed?