Category Archives: Personal Issues

Psalm 13

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11 years ago, I was coming back to school after having been to Urbana 2000. It was a positively AMAZING experience (and I don’t say that lightly) but I had developed a severe case of bronchitis which triggered a depressive attack. My mom had dropped me at my dorm and I had unwrapped my new 2001 calendar which she had given me and had pictures of nature with snatches of Psalms on them. (My mom isn’t Christian which should tell you how wonderful that gift was to me.) The January picture had Psalm 13:5 on it which reads as “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.” Seeing that, I decided to read the whole psalm and started weeping in a mixture of sadness and joy because it was like “THANK YOU LORD!!! YOU KNOW THAT I’M SUFFERING AND YOU CARE!!!”

Someone who has become a friend of mine is dealing with depression right now and I thought that it would be fitting to post Psalm 13 again as it is an appropriately Lenten psalm and also one that speaks to depression. I’m posting the King James Version because as I’ve said before, the psalms just sound so much more elegant in Elizabethan English.

How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death;
Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.
–Psalm 13 (KJV)

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: February 27, 2012

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY February 27, 2012

Outside my window… sunny and neutrally warm.

I am thinking… about too many things to list.

I am thankful… for one of my teenagers who is going to baby-sit Daniel tonight during Bible study.

In the kitchen… I’m liking Bertolli’s frozen soups. Their florentine soup with chicken and tortellini was excellent.

I am wearing… blue maternity shirt, sweats, and my Jameson fleece.

I am creating… just this entry right now and later tonight, I’ll work on my Occupying Lent entry.

I am going… to Bible study tonight. Again, so grateful for one of the teenagers at church who can baby-sit because I don’t have the energy to chase Daniel.

I am wondering… when Daniel will fall asleep so I can wet-jet the Pediasure off the floors.

I am reading… nothing at the moment. I just finished Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis by Lauren Winner which was EXCELLENT and highly recommended.

I am hoping… everything falls into place that needs to this week.

I am looking forward to… being able to eat meat again on Fridays. I miss going and reading at the local sushi/teryaki place which had gotten to be a Friday habit.

I am learning that I am so incredibly out of practice in discussing theology — something I’ve studied at a graduate level.

Around the house… waiting to wet-jet those floors. Woo.

I am pondering… too many things. I’m a hugely introverted person and I think my mind has ADHD.

A favorite quote for today… “When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less.” — C.S. Lewis in “Mere Christianity”

One of my favorite things… good church music. I’m loving the non-contemporary classical stuff coming out of Unapologetically Episcopalian.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Bible Study and “Hart of Dixie” tonight, PT on Tuesday, speech and mid-week Lenten soup supper on Wednesday, OT on Thursday, speech eval on Friday, and hopefully nothing on Saturday.

A peek into my day… The “Occupy Pack n’ Play” movement started by my boys. In this picture, it’s my sissy tabby cat Cullen.

Cullen occupying the pack n' play.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

7 Quick Takes — Mea Culpas, Susan G. Komen, and Marshmallow Shooters

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7 Quick Takes

Wow! Lots for me to choose from this week in the news, so I guess I’ll get started.

— 1 —

Mea culpa. I owe a number of you an apology for posting the link to the White House blog and saying that there were religious exemptions if you had mentioned the HHS situation on your Quick Takes. Thank you to Lisa at All Things Gale for emailing me and explaining the intricacies of the situation politely and civilly. Thank you also to Katie of NFP and Me for giving me the link to the roundtable on ABC that includes this discussion.

— 2 —

Regarding the Susan G. Komen debacle, it is THEIR choice as to whom they choose to grant funding. Yeah, it was spineless of them to have caved to public pressure but it would also be dishonest if they did not fulfill the grant money that had already been promised for this year. Next year, however, is different and they can sever ties at that point. The damage has already been done — their donations will drop because of this. This should also be a sign to Planned Parenthood that they need to acquire some mammography machines and get some licenses to use them so they can actually claim truthfully to promote breast health rather than making referrals out to other providers.

— 3 —

On Monday night, I found a great article on being a super successful introvert. I’m one of the last people to like anything sanctioned by Oprah but this article is excellent. I’ve actually put some of these things into practice in past situations and they really do work. And seriously… I’m proud to be part of a class of people that includes Abraham Lincoln and Eleanor Roosevelt.

— 4 —

The petition to rescind the HHS mandate hit 25,000 signatures on Tuesday. It’s not surprising given that even *I* signed it because I think that the terms of the mandate needed to be adjusted to allow for issues of conscience for *ALL* religious groups, not just the Catholic Church. (I signed it on February 1st if anyone wanted to know). 25,000 is the threshold to go to the HHS peeps and the president so I hope this all gets resolved soon. It doesn’t go into effect for another year but it isn’t good to have more tension in a country that is already polarized enough and has been for a very long time (since 2000 at least).

— 5 —

I’ve been having to sleep in the living room because of the cough from the MUTANT DEATH COLD. I can’t be flat or I start coughing up a lung, making it really hard to get sleep. I’m on the last few days of my antibiotics which were supposed to treat any infection if it was present (as bronchitis = hospital for me) and the only difference is that I’m maybe getting some stuff up now. I don’t know if I just have a really inflamed area in my throat or what but this is getting frustrating. *makes a mental note to get more cough drops*

— 6 —

Dude… marshmallow gun. President Obama and Joey, an 8th grader from Arizona, shot a marshmallow across the State Dining Room of the White House using the air cannon that Joey built for his science project at the White House Science Fair.

I don’t care how you feel about Obama — I think shooting *anything* out of an air cannon needs to be viewed… repetitively.

— 7 —

This article on helicopter parents in the workplace from NPR is scary. I honestly can’t imagine my parents calling the seminary or the clinic or UPS Supply Chain Solutions (my brokerage in Montana) to make them be nice to me or make them pay me more. For one thing, it’s highly unprofessional and it also shows that the candidate cannot function independently if their parents are still fighting their battles for them. My mom has told me who happened to be hiring when I was looking for a job one summer and I’ve asked her advice with regard to work situations (she’s calm and diplomatic which is what I aim to project); but that’s the limit. The only reason she met my boss in Montana is that she was at the baby shower that the UPS Supply Chain Solutions people threw me when Daniel came home from the hospital. Helicopter parents in general just stymy me. I mean, I’m uber-involved in Daniel’s life and advocate for him but he’s also only two years old and autistic. I’ve told friends of mine to shoot me if I ever show up to a parent-teacher conference and complain that the teacher doesn’t see Daniel’s innate specialness.

— Bonus —

In California news, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against Prop 8. This is kind of a useless ruling because it was going to be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, regardless of in whose favor the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled. (The 9th Circuit Court gets overturned by the Supreme Court 54% of the time which another reason why this ruling is useless.) I probably should have an opinion on this… and I don’t. I have too many friends on both sides of the issue who are going to be wounded when it is decided one way or the other that I’ve just decided to keep my mouth shut. I will say, however, that this is not a good thing for those who were in favor of Prop 8 (which means that they are against same-sex marriage) because the Supreme Court deciding the law is unconstitutional means that the door is WIDE open for DOMA to be repealed and other states to pass laws allowing same-sex marriages.

For more Quick Takes, visit Hallie Lord at BettyBeguiles.Com who is graciously hosting this meme while Jen pushes toward the end of her manuscript.

7 Quick Takes — Coughs, Books, and Women’s Health Politics

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7 Quick Takes

Dude… everyone and their mother did Quick Takes last week! It took me DAYS to get through all the entries with me reading 40 entries a day. It was good to see some new people as well as some who haven’t participated for awhile.

— 1 —

I finally went to see the doctor about the cough that has been lingering from my MUTANT DEATH COLD at Thanksgiving. I ended up seeing Dr. Passive Aggressive and his thought was that it was probably a side effect of the Lisinopril (my blood pressure medication — I am the phenotypical embodiment of every negative gene on both sides of the family). He switched me to another one (whose name I can’t remember and should learn in the event that I end up in the E.R.), put me on Doxycycline to nuke any potential bronchitis as bronchitis and asthma don’t mix well (apparently, I actually looked like I was sick because of the sleep deprivation), and gave me a lab slip which I’ll deal with next week when I’m not binging on cough drops. (That whole fasting from midnight onward doesn’t work when you require cough drops to numb your throat so that maybe you can sleep.) I am also having to sleep in the recliner because I have coughing spasms when I lie down. OK… end of whining about this particular thing.

— 2 —

I finally finished Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. The siege of Galbatorix’ capital and the fight between him and Eragon is maddening to read because it feels like it stalls but it was good. The chapters after the demise of Galbatorix kind of drag because you want things decided and wrapped up quickly. (OK… spoiler there but seriously, the book’s ending is going to suck if Eragon doesn’t win.) Still, it was a wonderful read and I will be downloading the other three books onto my NOOK so that one fine day, I can read all four in order.

— 3 —

I guest-posted on A Day in the Life this week. Emily put out the invitation for the married ladies (and single ones too if they had anything to say on the subject) to do a guest post on the subject of our vocations as wives. It’s kind of scary that I’m probably the oldest contributor and I’m only 31 (32 in May)! Do some women who have been married longer than I have (10 years in March) have anything to add? If you do, please talk to Emily.

— 4 —

The home visit portion of ABA training is tomorrow (Friday) morning at 11:00. I’m having an attack of “OMG-I-suck-as-a-mother-because-Daniel-doesn’t-fit-into-this-little-box” flipping out because I’m not getting exactly three seconds of eye contact and OMG Daniel isn’t at 100% for putting on his shirt (the skill I’m teaching for it). My mom talked me off the ledge on Tuesday night and explained that none of this means that I’m a loser mother and that they do understand that kids (especially autistic ones) do not perform on command. The whole reason I’m flipping out is that Friday’s visit determines whether or not we receive services for Daniel through the Regional Center.

**UPDATE** We passed with flying colors. The person doing the home visit was impressed with the work I’d done with Daniel and with his skill level. This is one more check off my list as I trudge toward March 26th and his IEP.

— 5 —

I signed the petition to have the HHS mandate rescinded. I know that my pro-choice friends probably think I’m traitorous for doing so but… while I support the idea that health plans need to provide access to birth control that isn’t prohibitively expensive, I also believe that there should be a way for those whose conscience is violated by this to opt out. It’s not just THE CATHOLICS but also Jews and some conservative Protestant groups. If President Obama or Secretary Sebelius could come up with a way to do this, the firestorm would probably die down. I think their idea is good in theory (my birth control pills are mitigating out the PMS that can land me in bed for a week out of the month) but they failed to take the faith issue into account.

I also wanted to share this piece that was written by my favorite KU med student Katie of NFP and Me. Katie, thanks for letting your combox be taken over for discussions.

— 6 —

My new laptop arrived today (Thursday). It was worth being woken up from my nap to answer the door. I’m glad it’s here so that I don’t have to keep harassing the Fed Ex drivers that stop on my block. It’s an HP dvt6 and I’ll be transferring stuff over this weekend after I can get myself to Best Buy to get a migration cable. In the tradition of naming my personal electronics after titles for Orthodox priests’ wives, this one will be “Presbytera” which is the Greek Orthodox title. (My iPod is “Panimatushka” and my NOOK is “Popadija”.)

— 7 —

Given that my homeboys (the 49’ers) got knocked out by the Giants last week, I think I’ll be rooting for New England this weekend. I’m not a football person and I don’t understand how the game works. However, the 49’ers game the weekend before last was excellent (and I actually watched it) so I might watch the Super Bowl to see if it’s even close. Of course, there’s the most important thing: THE COMMERCIALS!!!!!

For more Quick Takes, visit Hallie at Betty Beguiles who is graciously taking over hosting for the next few weeks.

7 Quick Takes — Raindances

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7 Quick Takes

After having one of the driest Decembers on record, we’re receiving a few weather systems that should make a dent in our needed rainfall and hopefully add some snow to the Sierras. (Yes, I’m fully aware that “Sierras” is like writing “mountainses”. However, everyone around here pluralizes it.)

— 1 —

If you view my blog as a whole, there’s a sticky post at the top which explains the button on the sidebar. Restating it briefly, I can’t throw my weight behind any of the GOP candidates, so I’m supporting Obama. The political discussion on this blog regarding the 2012 election stops at that point (Twitter is another story) and I’m perfectly OK with anyone who wants to pass over my blog until November 7th. I’m not going to gripe about any of the GOP debates or any candidate — the only complaining I may do is about the number of political ads on TV come autumn.

— 2 —

I think everybody in the pro-life movement needs to read this. Kate is another Quick Takes blogger and she is so perfectly on-the-money with what she has to say. I have friends on both sides of the issue and she brings a lot of grace to the pro-life side of it. (Thank you to Katie @ NFP and Me for re-tweeting it.)

— 3 —

I have parent training this weekend for the autism program that will be working with Daniel. I’d prefer doing it over two Saturdays instead of Saturday/Sunday but the only way we can have this in place before Daniel turns three is for me to do it this weekend. I’ve almost got the care schedule for Sunday morning in place and I’m thankful that the people of Metanoia are so awesome to offer to take care of him while Jon is conducting worship and teaching Sunday school. (For those not in the know, I’m married to a Lutheran pastor.) We get an hour-long break for lunch so I’ll definitely be charging my NOOK so I can curl up with it during lunch. (It also has a pad of paper in the cover so I can take copious notes.)

— 4 —

I just found out that a seminary friend of mine is pregnant again… with triplets. I managed not to remark that she was going to have her hands full — I imagine that there will be plenty of people telling her that in her congregation. I’m hoping for a healthy pregnancy for her — pregnancies of multiples can be tricky by nature. (The hospital where I used to live in Montana refused to deliver twins or higher because there was so much that could go wrong.)

— 5 —

I had lobster for the first time last weekend at the lobster feed put on by the Chamber of Commerce. Honestly, it’s not my first choice for shellfish — it was a little bit too rich. The shrimp from the Low Country Boil on the other hand… I wish I’d taken some of it home with me although at the time, the thought of more food was more than I could handle. It was a fun evening and I’m thankful to one of my parishioners for inviting me to go with her.

— 6 —

I have to admit that I’m somewhat amused at the revelation that Paula Deen has Type II diabetes. There are a number of people crying “HYPOCRITE!!!” at her because she pushed her high-fat comfort food while living with the condition and I don’t doubt she is a bit guilty of hypocrisy; but people also had a choice to follow her recipes and eat that food. She claims to have always preached moderation and that’s something that we Americans have problems in practicing. The normal dinner plate size has increased insanely in the last 30-40 years and having appetizers, an entrée, and dessert at most major restaurant chains will use up your daily allowance of calories in just that meal in addition to all the excess fat and sodium.

— 7 —

I’m getting kind of addicted to the Friday lunch special at the local sushi place. Soup, salad, teryaki chicken or beef, rice, and a roll of choice for under $15. It works. They’re also more than happy to let me just sit and read after I eat.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: January 9, 2012

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY January 9, 2012

Outside my window… dark. It’s 10:40 p.m. It started out cold this morning and ended up fairly warm — the 60’s maybe.

I am thinking… about the ADOS testing today and Daniel’s diagnosis of autism.

I am thankful… for getting through today even if I was completely drained of energy when I got home. I’m also thankful for the guy on the motorcycle who waited until Daniel was in the car and the door was closed so that him starting the motorcycle wouldn’t scare Daniel.

In the kitchen… next question.

I am wearing… black Arabic shirt and black capri sweats.

I am creating… this entry.

I am going… to enjoy having tomorrow as a quiet day.

I am wondering… what the future holds with Daniel’s diagnosis.

I am reading… Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. I think I’m going to download the other three books onto my NOOK so I can read them in order when I’m done with this one.

I am hoping… I sleep well tonight.

I am looking forward to… lobster feed this weekend with one of my amazing church ladies.

I am learning a lot about autism.

Around the house… curtain rods being replaced.

I am pondering… many things that I can’t vocalize.

A favorite quote for today… “A person’s a person no matter how small.” — Dr. Suess

One of my favorite things… Crystal Light Peach Tea

A few plans for the rest of the week: therapies, meeting with the school district regarding Daniel, lobster feed on Saturday night.

A peek into my day… My boy and I at Miwok Park in Elk Grove.

Daniel and I

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

7 Quick Takes — Brought to You by Fibromyalgia Grumping

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7 Quick Takes

I haven’t gotten half decent sleep since… yeah, it’s been that long but it’s been especially bad this week which means that my fibromyalgia is flaring up. This means that I’m in a boatload of pain and in an extra cranky mood. Jon had to be in the office and doing visits today but his day off is tomorrow and that means I get to sleep in guilt-free. (OK… so I also slept in on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but that had to do with having problems sleeping and having to be more than semi-comatose to take care of Daniel.)

— 1 —

I still have remnants of the mutant death cold from Thanksgiving. I still have random coughing spasms that wake me up and keep me up at night. I was almost coughing to the point of vomiting on Tuesday night and my dad ended up bringing a couple packages of Ricola to the guestroom — I guess I was waking him up and keeping him up. I don’t know what specifically is irritated and causing it — it’s not asthma-related so my inhaler and nebulizer are useless against it.

— 2 —

I see that the Rose Parade is being held on Monday. The joke is that it (almost) never rains on the Rose Parade because the organizers have a deal with God: they don’t hold it on Sunday and God gives them good weather. It illustrates the fallacy of prayer making God into the Cosmic Vending Machine but it is curious that they usually have amazing weather even though it falls during the rainy season.

— 3 —

There’s a new season of The Biggest Loser starting. The only problem is that it’s on at the same time as NCIS:Los Angeles. I missed pretty much all of last season — I only caught the Thanksgiving show where they showed who kept the weight off. I think I’m going to have to pick a night to watch it online or something.

— 4 —

My resolution for 2012: be more active. Fibro can be a catch-22. It helps to be active and get moderate exercise but… the pain makes doing so difficult, especially with me because I’m also under a huge amount of stress and that exacerbates things. I think I’m going to have to be super intentional about taking the time out to go for a walk, do playground stuff with Daniel, or just… DO SOMETHING.

— 5 —

I’m getting a ton of political fundraising emails. Apparently, there’s a huge FEC deadline on December 31, 2011 and all the political stuff I support are hitting me up for money. Can I honestly say that I’m really not looking forward to all the politics and media crud that will be coming soon?

— 6 —

I had to put down The Magicians by Lev Grossman. It was interesting in the beginning but it seems like Grossman took the whole Harry Potter thing and twisted into this dark and fatalist thing. It did sort of keep my attention but it was also depressing how hopeless the characters attitudes were. I still haven’t used up my whole gift certificate from my birthday and I have an additional one from my sister-in-law that she gave me for Christmas so I think it’s time that I invested in some stuff that I do want to read. I also finally figured out how to “close” books on my Nook. Go me!

— 7 —

I did the Saint’s Name Generator again this year. For 2011, I had St. Gianna Beretta Molla which was good because I did need to get to know her better, especially as she also had a killer pregnancy (which unlike me, did eventually kill her). My saint for 2012 is St. Luke which should be interesting. I think this will be a year of reading his Gospel and the Acts of the Apostles. As a Lutheran, we don’t revere saints in the same way as Catholics or Orthodox do — for us, it’s more of “this is a person we should emulate”. I think I’ll be pondering some of these things internally for awhile.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.