Category Archives: Politics

They Get A Cookie

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On Countdown, Keith Olbermann told us about the decision of NBC and MSNBC to refer to the conflict in Iraq as a “civil war”.

And lo didst the heavens open and a voice wast heard to be saying “DUHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

(Apparently, the current administration hasn’t gotten a clue yet.)

Election ’06: The Good, the Bad, and the Concession Speeches

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Let me just make something very clear: I am not a blue dog Democrat. (I’m not! I’m not! I’m not!) I vote for people, not parties. However, the following must be said:

The Good
[-] Dems are back in control of the House! It has been ransomed from the evil Republican captors.
[-] My state contributed to what I hope will be the Democratic takeover of the Senate. (Hello Jon Tester! Good-bye Conrad Burns!)
[-] Virginia likely has a Democratic senator too though the racist thug Senator Allen will probably call for a recount.
[-] Claire McCaskill kicked her opponent’s butt in Missouri.
[-] My home-girl Nancy Pelosi is poised to become the first ever female Speaker of the House. (Hopefully Dennis Hastert didn’t leave anything behind on her rightful throne.)
[-] Rick Santorum got pwned!!!
[-] Mike DeWine got slaughtered!!!!!!!
[-] Montana’s minimum wage got raised by an overwhelming majority.
The Bad
[-] Bob Corker ran a filthy racist campaign in Tennessee… and won. It’s so painful to know that racism still exists in the South.
[-] The Robo-Calling. Like I needed 50,000 more phone calls to screen.
[-] Monica Lindeen didn’t win the House seat for Montana. (I really don’t care that much about her or Denny Rehburg in all honesty — I kinda just voted Democrat to help them out.)
[-] The Governator is back in California. (Phil Angelides, you suck!)

The Concession Speeches
[-] Harold Ford Jr: so much grace and eloquence — Tennessee, you don’t deserve his presence in your state!
[-] Conrad Burns: we’re waiting!
[-] George Allen: just get off your high horse and admit that Webb pwned you by 7000 votes.

I leave you with this podcast by Sage of Quirky Nomads.

The Laws of Gravity and Voting

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Could someone please remind me not to challenge gravity to a duel? It always wins.

Jen is a klutz!

(It’s a bad sprain of both my ankle and my foot. I thought I was on the floor when I stepped out off one of the stairs and I was sorely mistaken. What isn’t showing here is the bruise on my behind and the scrape on my arm.)

As for voting, GET OUT AND DO IT!!!!! I’m not going to tell you who to vote for (unless you’re in Montana, in which case I implore you to vote for Jon Tester because Conrad Burns was involved in the Abramoff scandal and is a buttmunch) — just VOTE!!!! You have no license to complain unless you VOTE!!!!

How Not To Commit Voter Fraud

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Attention Santa Clara County:

I have not had residence in the county for 5 years.Â? This means that you need to stop sending my parents absentee ballots and voter pamphlets for me.Â? They are a waste of money and ink.
Thank you for not calling me for jury duty in the last year and a half.Â? I appreciate not having to find a place in Montana to fed-ex the form back telling you that I have residency in a different county and state for the 4th or 5th time.Â? I’m sure you enjoyed receiving those forms from 2001-2004 and seeing the different counties and states I’ve lived in since then.

Snuggles,
jen

Olbermann!!!!!!!!!

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Countdown had some interesting stories last night:

  • Why does Ann Coulter have to dress like such a slut?Â? You’d think someone that conservative would avoid the “little black dress” route.Â? She looks positively skanky at best!Â? Oh yeah… there’s also that voting fraud thing.Â? Oh let me guess… I’m a traitor for questioning her love of democracy?

Silly right-wing wackos!

Oh yeah… there’s also Bush’s super secret plan in Iraq!