Why I Love My Mom

Jen: one of my parishioners has offered to go with me to get my ears re-punched and double pierced if/when i decide to do it
Jen: apparently, i can do it in town
Mom: hmmm Lutheran Goth — not incompatible.

My Prayer

O LORD , you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD .

You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

–Psalm 139:1-18

If to Heaven’s heights I fly,
You are still beside me.

Or in death’s dark shadows lie,
You will stay close by me.

If I flee on morning wings,
Far across the gray sea;
Even there your hand will lead,
Your right hand will guide me.

-“If I Flee on Morning Wings” by Fernando Ortega

What This Site Is

Since I know I have some new readers who know me in real life, I thought I should explain what this is.

::Meditatio:: is a collection of my various webjournals from the last 4 1/2 years. I started in July of 2000 as “Agape” and moved to Livejournal. I started ::Meditatio:: in February of 2002 as a faith journal and merged it into my normal journal as my faith started to blend more into my life.

I post on a variety of topics here from politics to things in my faith to what’s happening in my daily life. This is the place where I work out what is happening in my life and how it intersects with my faith, my mind, and my emotions. It is a small glimpse of my chaotic mind and how it works. Not all the workings of my mind are posted and some of them are posted in passworded entries.

Enjoy!

One of My Favorite Songs

Jennifer Juniper lives upon the hill
Jennifer Juniper sitting very still
Is she sleeping? I don’t think so
Is she breathing? Yes, very low
What’cha doin’, Jennifer my love?

Jennifer Juniper rides a dappled mare
Jennifer Juniper lilacs in her hair
Is she dreaming? Yes, I think so
Is she pretty? Yes, ever so
What’cha doin’, Jennifer my love?

I’m thinking of
What it would be like if she loved me
You know just lately this happy song
It came along and I like to somehow try and tell you

Jennifer Juniper, hair of golden flax
Jennifer Juniper, longs for what she lacks
Do you like her? Yes, I do, sir
Would you love her? Yes, I would, sir
What’cha doin’, Jennifer my love?
Jennifer Juniper, Jennifer Juniper, Jennifer Juniper

Jennifer Juniper vit sur la colline
Jennifer Juniper assise tres tranquille
Dort-elle, je ne crois pas
Respire-t’elle, oui, mais tout bas
Qu’estce tu fais, Jenny mon amour
Jennifer Juniper, Jennifer Juniper, Jennifer Juniper

My dad used to play the record of this song and I’d dance around the living room when I was 3 years old. It’s the kind of happy feeling that makes me cry.

(Lyrics c/o Song Facts)