Not Some Good News

I was prepared to make this a reflection on how much I am looking forward to Lent. Instead, this is where I am working out my feelings regarding how I am feeling about what has happened today.

Jon’s pre-Internship interview was today and it is important because Internship basically decides if you’ll be ordained, especially if it’s a terminal internship like Jon’s is. At the meeting, they broke the news to us that they would not be able to keep Jon in the Columbus area and give him a site that would benefit him the most. Since I am the most flexible, they asked me if I might want to take a year off of school and go wherever Jon needs to go for his site. (He needs a good site because there are factors like age and his previous experience that are not in his favor as far as being called to a parish.) I commented that I would be OK with dropping seminary for a year so that Jon could go on Internship. They told us to talk about it and pray about it and get back to them at the second interview on February 26th.

Truth be told, I would be OK with taking a year off because I need the break. I have squeezed 18 years of school into 17 and it would enable me to rest and have them find out what is so wrong with my stomach. However, this morning pulled everything stable in my life out from under me with the exception of Jon and God, and I think I do have a valid reason to be upset about that. I was looking forward to seeing Ed and Thuan again after Internship and having another year with Karen and Joene and Julie and everyone else in my class. I’ll miss Darby and having Dr. Petersen and Dr. Schroeder for Church History and possibly Dr. Taylor for NT II. I was looking forward to working with Carol and Dr. Ramseth on the Christmas party next year.

Yes, I know that they could very easily find Jon something that’s an hour away and he can commute to Internship and that would be my wish; but I also know that when I promised to go where God led me, God really wanted me to keep my end of the bargain. I have been in tears for much of the day as I have no ****ing idea where I will be in 5 months — just that I will be with God and with Jon. That is really scary for someone who has never lived in one place less than 3 years and who grew up in the same house from birth until high school.

I know that God will not put me in a place where His grace cannot protect me but I am still really hurting. Please keep me and Jon in your prayers though I feel like I’m the one getting shafted by what just came up today. We have to give them our answer on February 26th and this process needs to be accompanied by a lot of prayer and discussion. C/S

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About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.