Something I Needed To Do

i went to messiah this sunday as i needed another service for my anthro final project. (getting class credit to go to church — good concept.) when i got home, i decided to take care of something that had been really troubling me the night before. my friend steve lazaar died 2? years ago and i never really got to say good-bye or even grieve properly. it was funny that my Bible reading yesterday was on the woman at the well because jon pointed out that i hadn’t dealt with it yet, telling me to do whatever it took to get closure. last night, jon sat up with me as i let all of the 2? years of grief out. this afternoon, i walked down to the stevenson knoll and entered my favorite redwood grove. there, i stood and sobbed as i talked to steve and told him how much he had meant to me and thanked him for the influence that he had on my life. i then prayed for God to release me of my grief. the wind was whipping me as i left and walked down to the track where i prayed and meditated as i walked. it was a really calming experience. i know that some grief still remains but i have now gotten to say my good-byes.

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About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.