i went to messiah this sunday as i needed another service for my anthro final project. (getting class credit to go to church — good concept.) when i got home, i decided to take care of something that had been really troubling me the night before. my friend steve lazaar died 2? years ago and i never really got to say good-bye or even grieve properly. it was funny that my Bible reading yesterday was on the woman at the well because jon pointed out that i hadn’t dealt with it yet, telling me to do whatever it took to get closure. last night, jon sat up with me as i let all of the 2? years of grief out. this afternoon, i walked down to the stevenson knoll and entered my favorite redwood grove. there, i stood and sobbed as i talked to steve and told him how much he had meant to me and thanked him for the influence that he had on my life. i then prayed for God to release me of my grief. the wind was whipping me as i left and walked down to the track where i prayed and meditated as i walked. it was a really calming experience. i know that some grief still remains but i have now gotten to say my good-byes.