Reading about this on several pages brought back memories of college. (The story was about the Vatican spreading lies that condoms don’t prevent the spread of AIDS. I understand that they are against birth control but… their idiotic words are going to cost people their lives because they’ll have unprotected sex. But anyway…) At UC Santa Cruz, they assumed that we were all having free sex 24/7 (because that’s all college kids do, right?) and as a result, women going to the health center would frequently be asked if they should be tested for pregnancy. If I had been sexually active in college, this would have been OK. However, I wasn’t and it was annoying that whatever bloodwork they did on me included a pregnancy test.
During my first year of college, I was always sick with something having to do with my upper or lower respiratory system. I got bronchitis at least quarterly and it frequently developed into walking pneumonia. That spring, I went to the health center with a sore throat. They did a throat culture and told me to come back in a few days for my lab results. I came back a few days later and checked in. The nurse called “Jennifer” and nobody else in the waiting room looked up. I went in and the following dialogue ensued.
Nurse: “OK.. your pregnancy test came back negative. Now why do you think you’re pregnant?”
Ummm yeah… they gave me a THROAT CULTURE. A swab of cotton against the back of my throat is a pregnancy test. OhhhhhK….
Me: “You gave me a throat culture.”
Nurse: “You mean you’re not Jennifer _______???”
Me: “No… I’m Jennifer M________.”
Nurse: “Oh no! You’re the wrong Jennifer!”
They got the correct Jennifer in and I guess they counselled her on birth control or something. (My throat culture came out negative.)
I too have noticed how at UC campuses they assume a lot of things about you–I guess that has to do with the way so many people are living their lives, but it is still sad that it takes so much explaining to someone to say that you are celibate.
It sounds from this blog that you can give me some good sympathy on this bronchitis I have then…
It became almost a joke after a while. When they’d ask me or my friend Susanna, we’d reply “Nope… I haven’t seen any angels lately and my name isn’t Mary.”
Susanna ended up in the local ER for a heart thing and they asked her repeatedly if she had taken any crack. Her reply: “No, but if you want to put some in my IV, I’d be happy to start.” When asked if she was pregnant, she replied, “Only if you believe in the Immaculate Conception.” The nurse’s reply: “Well… this IS a Catholic hospital.”