My wonderful twin brother gave me a gift certificate to Amazon.Com for Christmas and one of the books I got with it was A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. It was written after his wife Joy died and I have to say — it’s a very raw account. His other works (including Surprised by Joy which is his conversion account) are very polished. This was probably not the best book to read, given my mental state; but I read it nevertheless.

One of the most striking statements was that grief is like fear, and I can really see that. When my friend Steve died, I had no closure and I would get a pit in my stomach every time I thought of him, until I *finally* decided to seek closure 2 1/2 years later. It gives validity to the “how can I go on without ___???” idea that you get when someone close to you dies.

I think the thing I appreciated most about the book (other than his denunciation of platitudenous people as those who really don’t understand his situation) was that he really showed his thought process on how he was dealing with this in his faith life. He does refer to God as the “Cosmic Sadist” on occasion and I think that there are times when that feeling is appropriate. I know I know I know… all good things come from God; but the bad stuff does too. (I’m not into a dualistic God.) I think the bad stuff really causes us to look at the good times and understand where God has worked in us, and it makes us appreciate those good times much more.