31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: Choosing Life (II)

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

One thing I didn’t cover yesterday was the issue of when you get the news that your kid *DOES* have a condition that *IS* actually incompatible with life. Knowing that your kid will die the second they exit the womb is a scary thought and most people I know whose kids are diagnosed with anencephaly or some kind of similar condition have chosen to terminate the pregnancy. I cannot judge them for that decision because I don’t know what I would have done at the time if I was in their position.

Tommy Tighe, one of the people I follow on Twitter, faced this dilemma earlier this year when his fourth child was diagnosed with renal agenesis. He wrote about his experiences on Aleteia.Org and talked about the decision that he and his wife made to carry their child to term, knowing fully well that they were planning for a funeral instead of decorating a nursery.

I’m not condemning anyone who chose to end their pregnancy after a diagnosis like that but what Tommy wrote has made me think about what I would do in the situation.

2 thoughts on “31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: Choosing Life (II)

  1. This humble and reverent affirmation of loving parents who discern either choice in a heartbreaking, hopeless situation is so beautiful and courageous, Jen. Thank you so much for saying it when most Christians who identify as prolife cruelly condemn the mothers who make –or are pressured into–the choice to interrupt, smugly confident they would never consider it. I wish that abortion healing ministries, which do a lot of good, did even better by not insisting on repentance even in the most extreme and justifiable cases like these. And I wish that perinatal hospice were much more widespread to make it more of a real choice by offering a rich array of support in the agonizing wait for those who would like to carry the baby to term. And that our ableist, misogynist culture would be transformed to make that a safer choice as well. Natural completion of pregnancy would be my deep desire if it happened to us but it wasn’t till I read this that I realized, given the severity of my HG in the three pregnancies that I made it full term, I might not be able to endure the ordeal knowing the baby would not survive. And, like every other woman, I would deserve honor and even deeper compassion if that were the case.

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