I’ve debated posting on this all day because I know there are some readers who are going to be nasty about this… but it’s my blog and my life, so people are going to have to deal.

I saw one of the OB/GYN’s in town about a bilateral tubal ligation today.

Why did I do this, you ask? Because I have a disproportionately high risk of HELLP Syndrome reoccurring if I get pregnant again and this fact has been causing me mental anguish for 8 1/2 years. I’ve had people point out that I’m in the process of getting divorced and I should just cross the HELLP Syndrome bridge when I get pregnant if I ever remarry… but that kind of defeats the point of doing something to prevent it NOW when it’s messing with me and messing with mental health. Additionally, I am high enough risk that I would be on bedrest for my whole pregnancy and that doesn’t work with a kid like Daniel — I do live with my parents and they do help with Daniel but asking them to pretty much take over his care for 9 months is unfair to ask… and none of this takes into account that there is a 50% chance any future kids would be autistic to the same degree as Daniel, if not more. Given that I already struggle with balancing school (and eventually the need to make a living) and parenting already, I can’t have two kids with moderate/severe autism.

All of these things have been on my mind for the last 5-8 years and I finally talked to my regular doctor about them this summer. This all falls outside her specialty so she referred me to Women’s Health. The provider I saw today has absolutely no problem with going to bat with my insurance company for this if there’s an issue, given the issues I have with my periods and the degree to which I had HELLP with Daniel. I signed a consent form for it today and then I have to wait 30 days, see them again for a pre-op appointment, and they’ll do the procedure probably in the beginning of December.

We’ll see how this unfolds in the coming weeks…