Author Archives: Jen

About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.

Flattened (II)

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Daniel did rebound last night and has stayed stable since. Here are some vignettes from today.

[+] A friend from college is taking me to dinner tonight to get me out of the hospital and I’m simultaneously happy to get away from the hospital for a couple hours and terrified that something is going to happen while I’m gone. Everyone has told me that this is something I *HAVE* to do — if I stay on the unit 24/7, I will go crazy and I know this. I thought I was being so good though in taking meal breaks… (Dinner was good. We had pho. Daniel was fine while I was gone.)

[+] Because of the possibility that Daniel might still be needing ECMO last night, I was banished to the “quiet room” for the night where I made a pallet on the floor. I didn’t think I’d sleep well but I actually got six uninterrupted hours without being woken up for x-ray techs.

[+] I’ve gotten to be friends with the family at the opposite end of the PICU. (I ended up comforting the baby’s aunt on Monday when they called a code on her nephew and she and her husband were being present for me last night.) Her nephew is in worse shape than Daniel and the mom and I had a talk today about the whole thing. She had a copy of Our Daily Bread and she was talking about how she’s been reading it to her son. I think I’ll start doing that with Daniel. Her family is praying for Daniel and I’m praying for her baby.

[+] The resident who seems to be on during the day needs some better instruction in bedside manner. It doesn’t work to be an ice princess when you’re dealing with fragile parents. I think she’ll improve with time but it was irritating talking to her on Tuesday. Her attending is being more careful with me after watching me go to pieces (justifiably) two days in a row. The other peds resident who came in today was wonderful — very polite and asked if I minded if he examined Daniel. (He didn’t have to ask but I did appreciate it.) He then expressed concern about how I was doing and urged me to get off the unit and out of the hospital when I could. It was nice that he was concerned — it does help to know that I’m part of this.

[+] The anesthesiologist who did Daniel’s intubation on Monday stopped in to see him. This was really sweet — he didn’t have to do it and I thanked him for it.

[+] I’m not incredibly happy with God still (issues with WHY this is happening) but He is no longer on notice.

God willing, we’ll have another quieter day tomorrow and no drama tonight.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: March 1, 2011

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I almost lost Daniel tonight so pardon me if I’m a bit bitter and cynical.

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY March 1, 2011

Outside my window… the hallway to the MSICU and the PICU where Daniel is.

I am thinking… about how I’m going to get through this time of Daniel being in the PICU.

I am thankful for… Daniel rebounding and not needing to go on ECMO.

From the kitchen… I’m eating out of the hospital cafeteria — when I have an appetite.

I am wearing… grey shirt and pajama bottoms.

I am creating… this entry.

I am going… nowhere anytime soon except the bathroom and the PICU. (I’m banished to the “quiet room” tonight because they need to keep Daniel’s room open in case ECMO has to happen tonight.)

I am reading… Auntie Mayhem by Mary Daheim.

I am hoping… Daniel pulls through this soon and his lungs start making a turnaround. Mostly, I’m just hoping he makes it through the night without any more problems.

I am hearing… Jon sleeping, the ventilation system, occasional alarms. God willing, I will not hear “Code Blue: Tower 7 PICU.”

Around the house… I’m at UC Davis Medical Center. I don’t know when I’ll see the parsonage again.

One of my favorite things… the amount of support from family, friends, and parishioners. Also the way the nurses take care of me in addition to Daniel.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Being here in Sacramento at the UCD MC PICU.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing… My life is too horrific at the moment to photograph.

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OMG

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Daniel (with God’s help) pulled off a coup and managed to rebound with some ventilator tweaks and stay stable. They’re going to put off ECMO for the moment and God willing it will not have to be done during the night.

Praise God!

(God, you’re still on notice though.)

Flattened (I)

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I signed the paperwork for Daniel to be put on the heart-lung machine (ECMO) about half an hour ago or so.

Yes, it is seriously that bad.

I’m completely flattened. I threw up my dinner and I don’t know that I can eat again for a long time.

I’m simultaneously thoroughly pissed off at God and trusting Him to get us through this.

I’m just at the end of things.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: February 21, 2011

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY February 21, 2011

Outside my window… Sunny and chilly. I got spoiled by southern California — I need to grow a winter coat!

I am thinking… that it’s worth it to have Daniel tear up the kitchen in order to get this post done. I’m also thinking that the table cloth and pretty arrangement are going to be gone imminently because he likes to pull on them.

I am thankful for… naptime. Enough said.

From the kitchen… Kraft Deluxe Mac n’ Cheese. Yes, it’s horrifically bad for me. It was also what I craved this morning.

I am wearing… light green v-neck shirt, black sweats.

I am creating… this entry. Also formulating an interesting idea for NaNoWriMo. Too bad that it isn’t until November.

I am going… to the store for diapers right after I write this.

I am reading… nothing at the moment. Also going to stop at the library.

I am hoping… that this two year old molar teething stops soon for Daniel.

I am hearing… Daniel wailing. His fangs hurt.

Around the house… boxes still abound but we’re working on it.

One of my favorite things… Cullen being a snuggle kitty at night.

A few plans for the rest of the week: unpacking as much as I can when I can.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing… Daniel’s new nursery

Daniel's new nursery

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