Category Archives: Ministry
Church Educational Material
One of my classmates in seminary once commented to me that church educational resources are a good example of someone writing pages and pages and pages on a subject and really not saying anything at all. As much as I hate admitting it, they were right. I have seen the stuff I have to use to lead a WELCA Bible study next month and I could probably distill 5 pages of it down to a single simple sentence. Added on, it’s all very esoteric — it took me a few readings to get the main point and I’m a master’s candidate in the field. This is in contrast to the educational material which is usually insipid and dumbed down to the point that a normal five year-old could use the 4th and 5th grade material. It’s almost like they expect people to go from that to an accomplished theologian magically.
This isn’t just exclusive to my church’s publishing house either. Very little church education curriculum is really usable for most churches. (The only curriculum I’ve found that really even works is Concordia Publishing House and that’s only because they have people with Ph.D’s who have worked as DCE’s writing their material.) Everything is either too esoteric or too dumbed down. I feel like Goldilocks — nothing is just right. I had to write my own Confirmation curriculum so that I could get through a lesson with my kids in a normal fashion.
To remedy this (or at least feel like I’m making some kind of difference even if all I’m doing is blowing off steam in my journal), here are the myths of Christian education and the rebuttals.
Myth: You have 20-40 kids under the age of 12 in Sunday school each Sunday.
Reality: If you have 10, you’re pretty lucky. In city and suburban churches, you’ll have more but most churches (even in the suburbs) have very few kids in Sunday school. Kids either don’t go (it means the parents have to stay at church longer) or have spotty attendance.
What This Means: You can’t teach Sunday school as you would a regular grade school class. Having the kids break up into 5 groups of 5 works if you have 25 kids. Most churches don’t, so you have to have teachers who can adapt lesson plans. Could we maybe start with smaller groups and include instructions for adapting it to larger groups?
Myth: Kids need Bible stories written at the reading level of a 5 year-old because they aren’t going to learn them otherwise.
Reality: Kids aren’t being taught basic Bible stories (mostly because a lot of them don’t come to Sunday school) but that doesn’t mean that all the story materials used have to be geared toward 5 year olds.
What This Means: Children in grades 3-5 can comprehend a lot more than kids in grades K-2 and we need to make the work a little more age-appropriate. In the older grades, you can talk about sin and the consequences a lot more.
Myth: Teens want material in flashy packages with videos of people rapping the 10 commandments.
Reality: Teens sit there and make fun of the stuff.
What This Means: Forget the Bible Dude stuff and discuss Scripture and current events with the kids. Most of these kids are skeptical about whether or not this stuff is relevant to their lives. MAKE IT RELEVANT and they will listen.
Myth: Most Confirmation students come in knowing the 10 Commandments, Lord’s Prayer, Apostles’ Creed, and lots of Bible stories.
Reality: Most of these kids couldn’t tell you who Adam was, let alone recall the one about Elijah and the prophets of Baal.
What This Means: We really need 3 years of Confirmation because we have to cover the Small Catechism with the kids as well as the whole Bible. We need materials that convey the stories to the kids without fluffy introductions and materials that make the stuff applicable to their lives. This is a pomo xian generation — everything is relative to them and we have to somehow convince them that there is truth and this is it. We need to stop having them memorize the explanations for the sake of memory work, but rather help them to understand the explanations.
Myth: Every adult Sunday school class should read The Purpose-Driven Life, The Prayer of Jabez, or some other evangelical Christian cult-classic.
Reality: Most of those books are pop culture Christianity and are used as one-size-fits-all adult Christian education when they really only apply to a small percentage of churches.
What This Means: Find something that actually applies to your community and your church even if it means that you just have a pericope study on Sunday. (The pericope are the lessons for that week.) Those books work for some churches that have that specific hermeneutic but not for most.
There are others, but these cover my current frustrations.
8 Ways To Run Your Pastor Off
I saw a link to this on From The Anchor Hold and I thought it was very much worth sharing.
(Karen Marie, I don’t know if I’ve told you that I am incredibly happy to have you back online and in one piece. I missed caching your writing while you were sick.)
Confirmation and Palm Sunday
Confirmation at one of Jon’s parishes was yesterday and the service went well. We did have one kid almost faint but we got him off his feet before he fell. The kids read their faith statements and did a great job. The two most touching ones were the ones from two of my kids who have learning disabilities. The music was wonderful despite not having enough communion hymns to cover the communing of 150 people. (Our communion system works well for 60 and acceptably for 100. 150, however, is 45 minutes of sitting. Our sanctuary couldn’t even accomodate that many.) I also had to go get more wine and one of the fathers had to go and get more cups with me. Afterward, we had a lunch for the kids and then we went to the open houses for three of them. I’m not planning on eating again until probably Thursday — I am still completely stuffed because I had to eat at all three places (though not too much) to be polite. We slept until noon today — we were just so exhausted.
The other church’s Palm Sunday service was wonderful. We sang All Glory, Laud, and Honor (which I love and unfortunately only gets sung once a year) and the kids processed around with palms. We had just enough wine consecrated for communion and I could see our deacon mumbling a prayer about that. Jon’s sermon was excellent and featured some Hebrew — something that made the interim pastor (who was worshipping with us because he was also going to be at the confirmation service and thought he should make appearances at both churches in the parish) joke that Jon was trying to upstage him. 🙂
Parenting Strategies
Chris blogs about parent-teacher conferences. I recommend reading the post — it illustrates everything I hate about many parents today who refuse to discipline their kids. They (or at least the ones I’ve been unfortunate enough to deal with) don’t discipline their kids because they don’t want their kids to hate them.
News flash: Most kids say “I hate you” because they don’t have the verbal skills to say “I am very frustrated with the approach you have taken to dealing with my behavioral infraction.” Your kids are not going to be your friends and they shouldn’t be. If you are relying on them to be your friends, you really need to get out of the house and develop relationships with people your own age.
I also get the “if my kid doesn’t want to do it, he doesn’t have to do it” with some of my Confirmation parents. I don’t give a rat’s butt if their kids don’t want to go to Confirmation or if they don’t want to go to church, acolyte, write their faith statement, do sermon notes, or take their Confirmation test — they’re going to do it if they’re in my Confirmation class. I would like to throttle these parents because all they’re doing is turning their kids into slackers who will never have decent employment because they’ll be fired the second they tell their boss that they “don’t feel like coming into work today so [they] shouldn’t have to.” I’ve already lost two kids in my first year Confirmation class because I refused to let them have that attitude. (They were already thinking of leaving the church anyway so it wasn’t much of a loss.) My second year kids whine at me plenty and they’ve learned that whining gets nowhere with me, mostly because I really don’t care if they’re unhappy because they have to do something. I’m not getting paid to teach them and their parents have given control of their religious education to me, so I can really do what I darn please.
I think the parents who have this lame attitude are the ones who never heard the word “no” as kids. From the 1960’s onward, there has been this movement to abolish the word “no” with regard to discipline. Apparently, there’s a misguided belief that giving kids limits stifles creativity. It doesn’t — it teaches them boundaries. This lack of boundaries has created an epidemic and it has made me much more aware of how I’m going to raise my kids when I have them. My kids will not get everything they ask for and they will not be raised in front of the TV. Some TV is OK — using it as an electronic babysitter is not.
Confirmation Test
I gave my first 5 confirmands their Confirmation test tonight. They were tested on the 10 commandments, Apostles’ Creed, the Lord’s Prayer, who Jesus is/why He is important, Biblical names/terms, basic Christian knowledge, and basic Lutheran knowledge. Out of 100 points, the lowest score was 90 and the highest was 105.5 –I’m not sure if the test was too easy or I’m just a *REALLY* good teacher. 4 of the 5 could say the Creed perfectly and the 5th one got 7 out of 10 on it.
I have 3 more this week. Let’s hope they do just as well…
The Bishop’s Draft
Tomorrow is the Bishop’s Draft in the One True Church. This determines Jon’s placement for a parish. I am right now how I always am in these situations.
Please lift up prayer and very good karma.
-The Management
***UPDATE***
We got the assignment today and it is…
[drumroll]
Region 3: Southwestern Minnesota Synod