I’m back this week and writing this before (and probably a little after) Bible study.

Dear newlywed friends,

By now you’ve survived the intense time that is wedding planning and you’ve made it through the ceremony, reception, and possibly (if you chose to go somewhere that rendered you incommunicado) the honeymoon. You might have the “what’s next?” feeling. Here’s some advice for what lies ahead:

01.) You will fight. I don’t care if you lived together for a time before marriage or if you did the “living apart until holy matrimony” thing. Once you said those vows, it all became real and you now have to learn how to share your life and house with one other person. This means arguments over how to the dishes, the correct way to face the toilet paper, probably some words exchanged about finances, and tiffs over things you thought were totally self-explanatory. Guess what? They aren’t.

02.) You will learn to fight correctly. This could be part of the paragraph above but I’m keeping it a separate thing. You might have heard the Bible verse about not letting the sun go down on your anger. Don’t let your anger fester for days but there are times when it’s better to just go to sleep and hash things out in the morning when you both have level heads rather than fighting until 2 a.m. (Ask me how I know this.) You’ll also learn to pick your battles, especially ones where neither one of you will give any ground.

03.) You will learn new ways of doing things. Maybe your spouse has a more efficient way of washing dishes or loading the dishwasher. Maybe they know how to fold fitted sheets rather than just wadding them up and putting them in the linen closet. Maybe it is easier to just toss your wrinkled shirt in the dryer. Learn from your spouse if you expect them to learn from you.

04.) Your relationship will change. As I said, things become real once you’ve said the vows and you’re no longer that cute engaged couple — you’re now those adorable newlyweds. This could be a small change or a drastic change but it’s change nevertheless and you will go crazy trying to make things “like they used to be”. Live in the time/space where your butt is at that moment and you will enjoy things much more. This also applies to when you have kids — lots of change there.

05.) You will learn things about yourself. Living with someone else teaches you things about yourself that are useful to know. You might discover that you actually *like* folding clothes if you can do it with your spouse. You might never have tried parasailing on your own but you tried it on your honeymoon and you can’t wait until you get a chance to do it again.

Above all, you will find out that the curves life throws at you will be easier to handle with someone else there who has your back and you will be a better person for it.

Blessings,
jen

Now go see Becky and what everyone else wrote.