Last night, I was journalling and doing my study on Isaiah and at the end of the study, it was put on my heart that I have to forgive everyone involved with the church debacle. I’ve known I’ve had to do this for awhile but I’ve had too much anger and bitterness. I journalled for a good half hour on it in my paper journal, part of it being prayer about how I’m a broken person and I can’t do this on my own.

I will readily admit that I am a broken and sinful person and that I need God to be whole — what would be the point of the Cross if I could be whole on my own? I didn’t realize, however, how much anger and bitterness I was storing in my heart and praying about it, both in my journal and afterwards on my own, was humbling. It was like seeing the gaping chasms in my soul and realizing that the anger and bitterness were just making them larger. Praying and seeking forgiveness from God was a step toward filling those chasms in.

Forgiveness is going to be hard but it’s something I have to do. Pray for me. I have a rocky road ahead.

2 thoughts on “Forgiveness

  1. Forgiveness is not easy. It’s something I struggle with on a regular basis – and the person I have the most trouble forgiving is dead – so whether I do or not doesn’t matter to him a whit. But it matters to me. If I let it, the anger and bitterness can consume me. But if I let go of it, God can soften my heart, and His Spirit can work.

    Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Which is contrary to what most people think – “forgive and forget” – no. If you could forget it that easily, there wouldn’t be much to forgive. Over time, the emotions get less, kind of like once you’ve rung a bell, you can hear the sound for a long time, but it gets less and less.

    Hugs to you.

  2. It seems to me that forgiveness is exactly opposite of what our selfish, prideful sinful nature desires. Yet, Christ commands it and says that if we do not forgive others, we will not be forgiven. To follow Christ is hard, and that includes forgiving others.

    Not only are we to forgive people, we are to love them as well. Even our enemies.

    Anyway, I love your blog. Keep up the great work and God bless you!

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