Category Archives: Personal Issues

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: April 29, 2013

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY April 28, 2013

Outside my window… dark. It was in the 90′s today. I will be smacking the next person who denies climate change.

I am thinking… that in response to people posting about homeschooling their kids to keep them away from “godless liberals”, I totally want to respond by saying that I’m sending my kids to public schools to keep them away from the people saying those things. I almost want to get a shirt that says “I’m the godless liberal your parents warned you about.”

I am thankful… for the water fight and tickle fight I had with Daniel today and in general I’m thankful for his laugh.

In the kitchen… nothing from scratch. Must fix that.

I am wearing… blue v-neck shirt and capri sweats.

I am creating… nothing yarn-wise but always coming up with plot things for NaNoWriMo.

I am going… shopping tomorrow for toiletries and trying to figure out something to cook that I actually want to eat.

I am wondering… how to post something on Facebook calling out those who are posting partisan and factually incorrect things and telling me that I don’t know that I’m talking about because I give in to the “liberal media”. Riiiiight… the fact that I have a B.A. in Religious Studies focused around comparative religon and part of a Masters in Theology can’t mean that I actually know what I’m talking about, right? (Not to mention that one of the things that they’re making factual inaccuracies about is one of my areas of specialty.)

I am reading… Just finished The Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penny. She is amazing when it comes to the chiaroscuro of the human soul. Next book will be Death by the Dozen by Jenn McKinlay or possibly taking Maphead by Ken Jennings back up.

I am hoping… my allergies/cold/crud is on its way out.

I am looking forward to… Ladies’ Night Out on Wednesday.

Around the house… clean thanks to having company on Saturday and a young mom in the congregation to come and clean for me. (I pay her well and she is the reason I’m functional.)

I am pondering… how someone could have gotten my debit card number when I’m fanatical about keeping it secret. Thank God I was checking my account online and caught the bogus charge.

A favorite quote for today… “Why I often find myself at such cross-purposes with the modern world: I have been a converted Pagan living among apostate Puritans.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… making a good play on Words With Friends.

A few plans for the rest of the week: shopping tomorrow and possibly filing a police report, Morning Prayer and NCIS/NCIS:LA on Tuesday, Ladies’ Night Out on Wednesday, watching the cinecast of Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me on Thursday, and possibly a trip to San Jose this weekend.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

Five Favorites: Stupid Things People Say When I Tell Them That I’m A Pastor’s Wife

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Five Favorites

If you didn’t know, I’m married to a Lutheran pastor. Most people either know this or smile and nod politely but it causes some people to say some pretty *interesting* things. Here are the five most interesting ones that I remember, three that are reactions to hearing that I’m a pastor’s wife and two that are stupid things people have said because of who I am.

One

“So this means you can have sex, right?” This was said to me at 2003 at a visitation for a parishioner who had passed away by a co-worker of the parishioner’s son. I was standing in the funeral home next to the church in some fairly conservative clothes with my husband and his internship supervisor next to me. My response: “I really hope so.” The person walked away and I remember seeing my husband’s internship supervisor’s face turning an interesting shade of purple and his eyes almost popping out of his head. Apparently, this was one of the more interesting things he had encountered at a funeral visitation.

Two

“Does this mean that you’re a nun?” This was said to me by a Lutheran kid at a Lutheran church camp. (I point out that it was a Lutheran setting because our clergy are almost always married.) Apparently, he really hasn’t paid attention in church because I knew his pastor and said pastor is very much married with kids who are my age!

Three

“But you don’t look like a pastor’s wife!” One of my former co-workers said this during my second week of work when I came to work wearing my “Pastor’s wife of an LQPV Eagle” sweatshirt. (LQPV is the local high school in the area where my husband served his first parish.) Apparently, I’m supposed to be old and wear long dresses or denim jumpers or something??? I mean… I did the long dresses and skirts but apparently I don’t fit the stereotypes otherwise?

Let’s now just go into stupid things people have said to me because I was the pastor’s wife.

Four

“You’re a pastor’s wife! You’re supposed to be holy and doing the work of God’s church!” This was said to me by a 90something parishioner in Minnesota when I told him that he couldn’t just walk into our parsonage unannounced. It had been a week since I had undergone a laproscopic cholecystectomy (“lap chole” for short — gallbladder removal) and I was walking around the upper floor of our parsonage in my sports bra and running shorts, so I was a bit panicked when the front door suddenly opened and I heard someone calling out, “Pastor?!? Mrs. Pastor?!?” Thankfully, one of our elders was nice enough to go talk to him and explain politely why this wasn’t allowed. He was more amenable to him explaining it than the 25 year old pastor’s wife.

Five

“You’re a pastor’s wife. You can’t drink alcohol if you’re out at a restaurant.” This was said to me by one of my “special” people in Montana who decided that she needed to lecture me about my appearance and my reputation when she saw me out shopping in sweats. What she didn’t know: I never drank alcohol around parishioners and I hadn’t had a drink in probably… over a year at that point because my liver had a death wish and they had to scrape scar tissue off of it when I had my lap chole. (I’m also the world’s cheapest drunk so it wasn’t a stretch to give up drinking.) She felt that she had a duty to lecture me about my reputation and standing as a pastor’s wife which meant that she would criticize everything I did, regardless of whether or not everyone else approved of me.

Go love up Hallie and the others.

I Am Stunned and Saddened

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Social media guru RickCaffeinated dies of natural causes before crash.

I met Rick through blogs4God in late 2002/early 2003 where we were both moderators. He and I exchanged friendly barbs via our blogs and got to be friends. When I was denied candidacy for ministry in the ELCA in 2003, he was one of the people who helped me pick up the shattered pieces of my confidence. When I had an ovarian cyst and insurance decided not to pay for it, he sent me some money to help me pay some of my medical bills with the stipulation that I not worry about paying him back. He guest-posted when I was on vacation and we exchanged Christmas cards. Our friendship continued on Twitter where I would mock him and his wife when their tweets got too mushy for me.

People talk about how the Internet is a faceless place. I beg to differ. He was part of a community of people online who came with me on every one of my moves as a pastor’s wife. My world is definitely better place because he was part of it.

Please pray for his wife Vicki and their kids Trace and Cammi.

As a way of paying tribute to him here, I’m linking his guest posts.

Guest Blogging & Politics
Giving Props
HBD
Travellin’
Winter Weather

God speed, Rick. I look forward to you showing me all the cool coffee places when we meet again someday in Heaven.

7 Quick Takes: Lots of Baseball and Some Politics

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7 Quick Takes

Jon will be home from St. Louis tonight and I’m looking forward to it. It’s been a relatively easy week of solo parenting but I’m exhausted.

— 1 —

Oh. Em. Gee. NLCS Game 7!!!! The Giants are the comback kids of the MLB. They came back from being 2 games down in Cincinnati and 3 games down in St. Louis. Game 7 was two excellent teams playing and while the score wasn’t even close, there were awesome moments. It was hysterically funny to watch Marco Scutaro enjoying the rain the 9th inning and I loved seeing Sergio Romo’s reaction to winning the game. Probably the best moment was Scutaro catching the fly ball from Holliday… who had injured him in Game 2 while sliding into second base. I have profound respect for the Cardinals — they messed with Texas last year. I also have a great deal of respect for Jason Motte, their closer, who issued this tweet after the game.

— 2 —

My World Series bet. I have a World Series bet with Emily. If my Giants win, she’ll donate $10 to International Justice Mission. If her Tigers win, I’ll be donating $10 to To Write Love on Her Arms. Both are worthy organizations and I’m glad that one (or maybe both) will benefit.

— 3 —

I’m wondering what happened in Game 1 of the World Series. Seriously… all the sports talking heads have been playing up Verlander and how he was going to shut out the Giants. Yeah, that totally happened… NOT! Verlander lasted only 4 innings and our Panda bam-BOOMED three home runs out of the park. Scutaro (whose jersey I’ll be acquiring one of these days) made it on base every time he was up and continued his 11-hitting streak. My homeboys won it 8-3 (2 of those points coming because Angel Pagan couldn’t jump high enough to catch a homer).

— 4 —

What truly disgusts me. You all have probably heard about Ann Coulter’s tweet in which she calls President Obama a “retard”. Many of you probably saw the well-written letter to her from a Special Olympics athlete. What really disgusts me, however, is seeing people who advocate for special needs children defending Ann Coulter. I saw someone on a message board explaining that Ann Coulter is “just a comedian like Stephen Colbert”. Two problems with that: 1.) Ann Coulter is not a comedian by any stretch of the imagination. She is a political commentator. 2.) Stephen Colbert may be a comedian but he knows that there is a line between being funny and being insulting. Ann Coulter never fails to go for the insult. Hearing people defend her is as nefarious to me as Greta Van Sustren’s statement that “nobody was insulted” by Todd Akin’s statements on “legitimate rape”.

— 5 —

Do you see the handsome young man on my right sidebar? His name is Brett and he needs a mama. Could this person be you? Go click on his picture and see how amazing he is. While you’re there, would you mind contributing to his grant?

— 6 —

Really? This morning, I was walking the bear child to preschool when two minivans pulled up behind each other, barely avoiding us on the sidewalk. Two adults pile out and were pulling kids out of the car while screaming at them to get moving and that they were going to be late for school. Granted, I may or may not have been walking Daniel to school in my pajama bottoms but seriously??? YOU MORONS ALMOST RAN OVER MY SON AND ME!!!! This is freaking preschool — your kid is not going to get detention for being late like they would if it was middle school or high school where they were responsible for getting themselves to school. If you have a persistent problem with being late, try getting your precious sweetling up earlier. It’s not even like there was a drop-off line issue — the two of them came flying out of nowhere and the second one almost rear-ended the first one. Watching the adults and kids piling out was almost like watching a bunch of circus clowns.

— 7 —

Game 2 tonight. I used this as my last take because I generally put together Quick Takes over a few days and I was watching the game while assembling these. The pitchers seemed equally matched tonight. There were no runs batted in and had Posey not tagged Fielder out in the 2nd, it could have been Detroit who won. I also loved the interview with Romo and seeing him photobombing the Panda.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: August 6, 2012

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY August 6, 2012

Outside my window… dark. It’s supposed to get to 106F this week.

I am thinking… that I wish I had time to be part of the Sacramento Choral Society. In case I wasn’t clear in my Quick Takes, I could pass the audition to join without a problem and I’ve sung a chunk of the repertoire for their first concert but… it isn’t meant to be this season. I just have too much on my plate.

I am thankful… for my weekend with my parents.

In the kitchen… nothing to speak of.

I am wearing… black ratty Arabic shirt and black running shorts.

I am creating… this entry and some crocheting.

I am going… to hope I can get some decent crocheting done on the way down to LA in a week or so.

I am wondering… how long it’s going to take to smog the car and replace the tires that need to be replaced on Friday.

I am reading… Death on Demand by Carolyn Hart which I finished during my doctor’s appointment today.

I am hoping… the pain in my ears goes down. My FNP says the infection in my ears is gone and that the residual pain is my sinuses being inflammed and putting pressure on my ears.

I am looking forward to… a fairly quiet week. Daniel was supposed to have a playdate tomorrow at Fairy Tale Town but I’m not up to taking him.

I am learning that I have to rest myself and not push myself too much when I’m sick with a sinus infection or anything else that is sapping my strength.

Around the house… dishes and vacuuming to do.

I am pondering… how to deal with someone who is seriously irritating me.

A favorite quote for today… “It is better to forget about yourself altogether.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… Crystal Light peach tea.

A few plans for the rest of the week: car-related errands on Friday and making cookie dough at some point.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook

Tips For Surviving Your First Year (Or Ten) Of Marriage

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Katie, the awesome chica behind NFP and Me is hosting a link-up as a way of celebrating her 2nd wedding anniversary. As I’ve now been married for 10 years, I figured that I’d toss in my $0.02 on the subject.

[+] Respect your spouse’s limitations. I’m a serious introvert (which may/may not surprise people) and I’m married to someone who is the exact opposite — an off-the-charts extrovert. Jon *likes* being around people and gets recharged that way. I, on the other hand, need to have time in a dark and quiet room after sharing the Peace at church. As it would look really wrong if people found me in the coat room reading a book during coffee hour in Montana, we used to take two cars to church. This way, I could leave when I felt “peopled-out” and Jon could stay and have all the conversations he needed. It also means that I need much more “alone” time than he does and I have to be really intentional about communicating this in a way that does not come across as “I don’t want to be around you”.

[+] It is occasionally OK to go to bed angry. There’s a point at which things have been discussed to death and no good is going to come out of talking/fighting about it any more for that night. There are also times when one person needs to decompress before they can really deal with the situation. In those occasions, it is actually better to just get some sleep and deal with things in the morning when everyone is not cranky and tired. I know that there is the verse in Ephesians 4 about not letting the sun go down on your anger but the point that Paul is making to them is not to let things fester. As long as you do plan to deal with it in the morning or at some point the next day, just go to bed. It will work out better.

[+] If you really can’t live without something being done a certain way, just do it yourself. You’re each going to come into the marriage with a specific way of doing things from folding laundry to loading the dishwasher. If something has to be done a specific way or at a specific time and asking your spouse to do it your way is going to start a fight, just do it yourself. It’s easier in the long run and spares the two of you a fight over why not matching socks while folding laundry is a crime that should be punishable by death.

[+] You need to be on the same page when it comes to starting a family. This was one of the reasons why Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert divorced her husband. The idea was that she would give up her career at age 30 to start a family and she wasn’t ready to do it. There were other things that contributed to her divorce (like her adultery) but that was the main one she listed. Is the wife going to stay home with the kids? Is there a compelling reason to avoid a pregnancy? (I’m assuming that anyone clicking over here from Katie’s blog is probably going to be Catholic and an NFP advocate.) Is a home birth an option? The only piece of advice I can give (other than to be on the same page) is to give yourselves some time to enjoy each other before you start having kids. It’s not to say that there isn’t life after kids — it just becomes a bit harder to get that weekend away once kids are in the picture.

Those are my thoughts on the subject. Happy “not-killing-Steven” anniversary, Katie!

7 Quick Takes: Big Brother, Roasting Beasts, and Not Reading 50 Shades

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

To those of you trolling the “Catholics for Choice” group on Facebook: CUT IT OUT! I’m aware that you feel that they’re raging heretics and hypocrites and you’re entitled to that opinion. I’m not going to argue with you on that one. What I will argue with you on is the efficacy of getting yourselves banned from the group. All you’re doing is giving them ammo to say that pro-life Catholics are intolerant, so cut it out! It’s also really bad manners.

— 2 —

REMINDER: Brett’s Blogathon 2012 is next Friday. It goes from 7 a.m. on Friday the 27th to 7 a.m. on the 28th over at Blogging for Brett. I’ll have information on how to donate on a sticky post at the top of the blog during the event.

— 3 —

Big Brother is back on. I don’t have a contestant I dislike thus far as much as I disliked Rachel on the last two iterations but Mike Boogie is starting to be a contender. I’m glad Frank got HOH for this coming week though — it will be interesting to see if he puts Willie up.

— 4 —

My evil twin and hopefully my sister-in-law are coming over for a barbecue on Saturday. If Jeanette (my sister-in-law) is coming, I’ll be needing to find a My Little Pony to put on her birthday cake as well as acquiring some cake mix. I also have to figure out the menu which means figuring out which beast to roast and how I want to roast it.

— 5 —

Going back to #1, I got a call from Planned Parenthood a few weeks ago. It was interesting because I never heard from them during the years when I was sympathetic to them. (I’m not unsympathetic to their practice of providing care to impoverished women — I’m just not in favor of abortion.) I’m guessing that they got my name from the campaign to take down Dan Lungren (my Congresscritter who I loathe because he’s a tool, not because he’s Republican). I don’t know exactly what they were calling about because after the person explained who they were, I politely said, “I should probably tell you that I’m pro-life and I’m not really interested.” I said good-bye and hung up. I’m sure there are some who would argue that I should have tried to debate with them but I had the bear child clamoring for my attention and I had no desire to pick a fight with someone who was probably trying to be nice and volunteer their time for their charity of choice.

— 6 —

Facebook had an interesting Yusef/Cat Stevens question this week. The question was which song you’d want to hear if he ever toured again and sang his secular stuff. It was interesting because a number of my Facebook friends commented who had absolutely no connection to each other. (My answer, by the way, is “Peace Train”.) I still can’t listen to “Moonshadow” with a straight face after the parody someone did on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me after Cat Stevens was taken off a plane in Maine for being on the no-fly list. “I’m being followed by an air marshall/Air marshall/Air marshall…”

— 7 —

I finally had a parishioner ask about 50 Shades of Grey today. She couldn’t understand why I was laughing so hard until I explained about the review that described it as “Twilight with spanking and no sparkly vampires”. What I told her was that she’s an adult and can read whatever she wants but I didn’t think it would benefit her Christian witness. It was at that point that I found out that she had joked about me having it on my NOOK during Bible study that morning. Yeah… not so much. :) I’m generally not into reading whatever is popular with the exception of the Harry Potter books. I didn’t read the Twilight books until they had been out for awhile.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.