To the Man In $tarbux

To the man in $tarbux who is going around talking to people at a decibel level reserved for jet planes,

I don’t like you. I don’t want to hear you. I have an incredible amount of homework and classwork due on Thursday and Friday and am working here so I can sprawl across two tables. I have my ear buds in because I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!!!!

Coming over and talking to me will cause me to glare at you and tell you to SHUT YOUR GD PIEHOLE AND EFF OFF!!!! Continuing to try and talk to me will piss me off more and the only reason you are still in one piece is that the barista came over to talk to you and saved me the trouble.

Let me reiterate:

I DON’T LIKE YOU.

THE MERE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE PISSES ME OFF.

I DON’T WANT TO SOCIALIZE WITH YOU.

So please, LEAVE MY COFFEE SHOP AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE YOUR MERE EXISTENCE IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN A HOMICIDAL RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Snuggles,

The Tiny Irish-American Woman with the Earbuds and the Accounting Books