31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: You Know You’re The Mom of A Developmentally Delayed Kid…

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

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I’m in the midst of a week where I have a boatload of work due on Thursday and Friday so there might be “cheater” posts put up by me in the next couple days. Today’s is one that I wrote in November 2011 that applies to what I’m writing about this month. Enjoy!

Daniel had a pediatrics appointment today. After it was over, I seriously felt like I should be putting together a “You Know You’re A _____ If” list. So without further adieu…

You know you’re the mother of a developmentally delayed kid when…

[+] You rejoice because your kid is at the 25th percentile for height/weight/head circumference because they can finally plot the points on their growth chart.
[+] You can succinctly describe your horrendous pregnancy and birth experience in under 10 words but most of them have three or more syllables.
[+] The sight of your kid walking at 2.5 years old makes their pediatrician clap with joy because, dude, this is HUGE.
[+] You aren’t fazed by your kid’s abysmal MRI results because you got the report six months ago and your child’s physical therapist from Easter Seals talked you off the (figurative) ledge at that point.
[+] Your child’s pediatrician tells you that your child’s brain has many abnormalities (see “MRI results above”) and will never be like the brains of other kids their age. Your response: “We’ll see” while thinking to yourself that your child has a habit of defying predictions like these.
[+] Those abysmal MRI results get you a consult to every specialist you ask to see.
[+] Your child has more specialists in their lives than most hospitals have on staff. (Josh’s mother Susan is my former IV area director.)

Now for the ones that don’t apply to the peds appointment today!

[+] You know that you will cry when your child turns three and (in California) you lose your Easter Seals therapists. (Under the Lanterman Act in California, your child becomes the problem of their local school district once they turn three.)
[+] All your child’s developmental milestones are VERY BIG DEALS!!!!!!!
[+] You have stories from the NICU, PICU, and Peds wards of the hospital.
[+] You’ve had to explain to people why your kid is not waving at them, why your kid does not need a children’s menu, or why your kid isn’t doing ____ when other kids their age can do it.
[+] You finally just learned how to (joyfully) suppress the urge to say “Bite me!” to the person who asks the third question on that last item. (OK… again this is probably just me.)
[+] It makes you happy when people acknowledge your child/have a normal conversation with them instead of talking over them.
[+] You read the blogs of other mothers who have kids with developmental delays/Down’s Syndrome/autism spectrum disorders and can identify with their posts.

To the Man In $tarbux

To the man in $tarbux who is going around talking to people at a decibel level reserved for jet planes,

I don’t like you. I don’t want to hear you. I have an incredible amount of homework and classwork due on Thursday and Friday and am working here so I can sprawl across two tables. I have my ear buds in because I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!!!!

Coming over and talking to me will cause me to glare at you and tell you to SHUT YOUR GD PIEHOLE AND EFF OFF!!!! Continuing to try and talk to me will piss me off more and the only reason you are still in one piece is that the barista came over to talk to you and saved me the trouble.

Let me reiterate:

I DON’T LIKE YOU.

THE MERE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE PISSES ME OFF.

I DON’T WANT TO SOCIALIZE WITH YOU.

So please, LEAVE MY COFFEE SHOP AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE YOUR MERE EXISTENCE IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN A HOMICIDAL RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Snuggles,

The Tiny Irish-American Woman with the Earbuds and the Accounting Books

My Allegiances for the MLB Play-Offs

This is kind of tongue-in-cheek so keep that in mind. 🙂

So… here is who I’m rooting for in the division series, the championship series, and the World Series.

First and foremost allegiance: GIANTS!!!!!!! While I had an opinion on who would take the various ALDS series, I’m ultimately rooting for my Giants and hoping/praying they make it to the World Series.

Who I will root for if my boys don’t make the Series: the Nats or the Cubs (even if they eliminate my boys, they’re having a fabulous season and they’ve more than earned their place in the post-season)

Who I will not root for under any circumstances: the Losers from LA (a.k.a the Dodgers, who are the bitter rivals of my beloved GIANTS), the Indians (I hate Cleveland teams), and the Rangers (Bush Jr. used to own them and I personally love it when people mess with Texas).

This means…

Cubs vs. Giants: I’m rooting for the Giants. Duh.
Losers vs. Nats: I’m rooting for the Nats.
Indians vs. Red Sox: I was rooting for the Red Sox. Unfortunately, they’ve been eliminated. 🙁
Toronto vs. Texas: I was rooting for Toronto. They did not disappoint. 🙂

Conditions under which I will not watch the World Series period: Losers vs. Indians