The Strength to Carry On

For those not familiar with what’s been happening lately, Daniel underwent a sedated ABR on Thursday that showed mild hearing loss. This is not a surprise and while it seems like horrible news, it’s actually a blessing to find this out. Daniel is like a jigsaw puzzle of sorts and this is a puzzle piece that we’ve received as to why he hasn’t developed language yet. The next step is hearing aids and the fabulous audiologist is working on getting that in motion.

I truthfully exist in a state with a stress level of 7 or 8 being calm and normal. My FNP jokes that if I come in and my stress level is that low, things are going well because it’s routinely an 11 out of 10. I don’t whine a lot on this blog about how hard it is to be Daniel’s mom because so many other people deal with harder things regarding their kids and do it so gracefully. I will say though: it is incredibly hard some days to be the mom of an autistic kid with so many health problems and I don’t know how I do it, save for the grace of God who gives me the strength I need to persevere.

There are some thank-yous in order however.

Thank you to my wonderful husband Jon who kept the house quiet today and took care of Daniel (even cuddling him this morning while Daniel napped on his lap) so I could spend the day sleeping and trying to get some strength back. It’s been a tough few weeks and I’ve appreciated the chance to recuperate after beating myself to a bloody pulp as I’ve tried to push through.

Thank you to my wonderful mom and dad who hosted us last weekend for the Promise Walk for Preeclampsia, especially my mom who pushed me to finish the three mile walk and watched Daniel so I could take a hot shower and try to avoid my muscles spasming. She also walked Daniel around so I could attend the program portions of the walk. 4 years ago, she caught the first flight she could get to be with me for a week while I tried to heal from my c-section and dealt with the trauma of everything, holding me as I sobbed every time I left the NICU and ripping the neonatalogist a new one after he made me cry.

Thank you to my friend Mary Kathryn of Crochet Chiq who posted a prayer request to Facebook on *my* behalf, asking for prayers for strength for me to continue being the mom I need to be. I don’t think there are enough words to say thank-you for that and it made me cry tears of gratitude.

Thank you to Jeanne, Mandi, and everyone who emailed me to let me know they were praying for us. You give me strength as you reaffirm that I’m not alone and there aren’t enough words to express how much that means to me.

Thank you to my wonderful #Cathsorority sisters who bless me with prayers for myself and for Daniel despite the fact that I’m not Catholic. I appreciate all of you so much and wish I could tell you how much you bless my life.

Thank you to Thomas of Strong Catholic for letting me babble to you on Facebook as I was sitting in the Recovery Area waiting for Daniel to wake up. I appreciate you listening to me when I’m sure I wasn’t making a huge amount of sense.

Thank you to Audrey Bracchi Au.D of UC Davis for working so well with Daniel and I, helping me formulate blog entries to enlighten people as to the findings, for explaining all of this to Jon over the phone, and for taking care of figuring out the next steps so I don’t have to. I really look forward to working with you.

Thank you to everyone at the UCD Children’s Surgery Center for being so awesome and making this process so painless. From Child Life meeting us at the desk to awesome nurses, a wonderful anesthesiology resident, and everyone else, you made my life bearable on Thursday morning, This is why I love working with UCD Health Services — y’all are just so awesome and patient-focused.

There are many other people (like Mrs. H, Daniel’s teacher) who deserve my undying gratitude but I felt the need to give some massive thanks to all the people who have gotten me through the last couple weeks.