7 Quick Takes: Abducted by Aliens Edition

7 Quick Takes

So I was abducted by aliens had a sleep study last night…

— 1 —

Why? I am a crappy sleeper, somewhat narcoleptic during the day, and I snore. I finally got a referral to sleep medicine this summer and saw the specialist at the end of September. He was a bit freaked out by the fact that I was using polysyllabic words but couldn’t follow his finger with my eyes without moving my head. (I was tired, OK?)

— 2 —

Reporting for duty! I went to Skagit Valley Hospital last night, checked in, and was sent down multiple corridors until we finally arrived in the sleep lab. The other abductees patients were two older men. We waited until they were ready for us, and then we were taken to our rooms.

— 3 —

My room for the night. I was expecting a hospital bed, but I walked into a room that looked like a really nice hotel room with a recliner, a bed, a bathroom ensuite, and just beautiful furniture. I probably would have slept like a baby in the recliner, but they wanted me flat on my back with minimal pillows to get the best data.

— 4 —

Checking out the masks. S, my minder, brought in some different CPAP masks and had me try them out. I really didn’t like the “pillow” which involved two things going into my nose and blowing the air pressure in as I felt like I really wanted to breathe through my mouth but couldn’t. The second one covered my mouth and had my nose resting on it. It was cool because I could breathe through either my nose or mouth, and it was really relaxing to wear it.

— 5 —

The sensor attachment. After letting me have some time with the mask, S returned so she could attach the sensors to me. EKG stuff was attached to my chest, a few were run down my shirt and the legs of my pajama bottoms, and the rest were attached to my head and face with some nasty goop. (After a hot shower and application of a hot washcloth, I’m still finding adhesive that hasn’t come off.) I was plugged into a thing that I could actually put around my neck and take to the bathroom with me if I had to get up for that reason.

— 6 —

The part that really felt like an alien abduction. After the sensors were on and I was plugged in, they had to make sure everything was working, so S was contacting me over an intercom and asking me to do things like looking left and right without moving my head, moving my feet a certain way, etc.

In the middle of the night, I got asked via intercom to roll back onto my back (I had rolled onto my side to get to sleep). Apparently, they needed me flat on my back with minimum pillows to get the best results. I complied and went back to sleep pretty fast. I even had some interesting dreams too!

— 7 —

Waking up. S let me sleep until 6:30 a.m. She gave me a hot washcloth to get the adhesive off my face (I’m still finding it in places), and offered some conditioner to dissolve the stuff on my head. I opted to just walk through the hospital looking like the bride of Frankenstein instead, and took a long hot shower when I got home. I managed to get the gunk out of my hair (using all the hot water in the house to do it), and I’m chilling in my jammies in bed (after getting Daniel off to school) pondering a nap. Minion is berserking around my room, and eating the plastic straps that were around my new bed slats (which suck just as much as the old ones and I am biting my thumb at IKEA). I’ll probably drag myself out to get coffee in a bit.

It was a surreal experience, but I slept better than usual… strange as it sounds.

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