OK… I’ll admit it.
I can’t write like I used to.
When I was 22-23 (i.e. the year 2003), I could write angsty entries about pretty much any subject and I rarely had the writer’s block I do now. I wrote about politics, religion, current events, etc with no problem whatsoever. These days… I can’t really write about anything because I have to self-censor. There’s this fear that someone from one of Jon’s churches is going to find the blog and out me or that some future employer is going to google me and find it or the admissions people at whatever grad school I attend are going to use this blog as an excuse to deny me entrance.
Dude… the synod pastor in SW MN Synod described this site as “further evidence of self-destructive behavior on [my] part” after some people at MN Church #1 found it and used it to get at Jon. Like I can really blog out feelings here now?
A lot of my friends who are my age are giving up their blogs, trimming down their online presences, or just not writing as much. Many are adopting passworded sites if they’re going to write and it seems like the carefreeness that we all enjoyed 3 years ago is gone because people are now using whatever we write as a basis for employment or as a way to get into our business.
Am I the only one feeling this way?
I’ve trimmed down my online presence and rarely post anything anymore unless it’s a friends-only post in livejournal. for me, some of it is nervousness about someone stumbling on whatever I write, and concern for future job opportunities. another part is that I just don’t feel very interesting. there are lots of people my age, married with a dog and a roommate and working… why does anyone want to hear about my personal variation on that theme? 😉 seriously though… I just don’t have much to say and I’d rather not say anything at all.
I’ve taken to writing some stuff on the weblog, stuff I don’t mind the public reading, such as my knitting, gaming, and other random stuff I do. It’s rare, but when I do write personal things, I do it in friends-only Livejournals.
It does suck that people use what you write online as basis for jobs. I can’t ever post anything sensitive on star shaped because it is very, very easy to find it when googling for my name.
someone asked me recently if i thought maybe i should password protect my blog so “people didn’t get the wrong idea” after someone misread and misinterpreted one of my posts and left a nasty comment. i don’t however think it is my responsibility to somehow everyone who reads my blog understands what i’m saying…
but i have to admit, i do censor myself a lot lot lot more than i used to, mostly because my readership has changed (RLF readers).
i do miss the old days.
I definitely feel you on this.