For those who don’t know, Jen Fulwiler of ConversionDiary.Com had her baby on April 8th. He has some breathing issues (unrelated to Jen’s pulmonary emboli) and is at a different hospital with better NICU facilities. She’s out of the original hospital but Joseph’s hospital is 30 minutes away. Priest’s Wife of Fear Not Little Flock put together a post on surviving the NICU and I thought I’d share my own wisdom as the picture below represents life for us 4 years ago.

[+] Be gentle with yourself. It’s hard having a kid in the NICU. You get to cry as much as you want. If nothing else, you’re post-partum and it’s in the job description. You also need to take care of yourself though which means that you need to make an effort to eat, sleep, and do whatever you have to do to be functional.

[+] Ask LOTS and LOTS of questions. If you have qustionas and the doctor isn’t around, write them down and ask him when he rounds. (Oh yes… find out what time rounds are and be present for them.) There are no stupid questions when it comes to your baby. Want to know why they’re giving your baby a transfusion? Want to know what your child’s blood volume is? (I’m not kidding — I did actually ask the last one.) Ask away.

[+] Be as hands-on as you can. My son Daniel had specific care times at specific intervals. Our NICU encouraged me to be as involved as possible with them so I would take his temperature, change his diaper, and do anything else they needed done. It was good for me because I got to know what his baselines were and learned how to do things like bathe him without having to take a class. It also helps you know when there is something going on that needs attention. Something I didn’t know was that blood oxygen levels for preemies should be between 85-95% — anything higher can cause blindness.

[+] Engage in as much “kangaroo care” as possible. It has been empirically proven that “kangaroo care” (skin-to-skin contact with mom or dad) is beneficial to your baby as it helps them regulate their temperature and breathing. One of the best memories I have is of Daniel falling asleep on my chest. I also had the experience of him puking on my chest and having to remove my bra because of all the puke. 🙂

[+] Get the number for the NICU so you can call if you can’t room in with your baby. We couldn’t room in with Daniel until the end so I’d call the NICU before I left for the hospital and then when I got home. (I had a 2 hour commute each way so my favorite nurse actually instructed me to call when I got home.) I even called at 3 a.m. a few times when I needed an update.

These are my thoughts 4 years later. If you have any wisdom to offer, leave it over at Fear Not Little Flock.