Category Archives: Life in Big Sky Country

Five Favorites: Stupid Things People Say When I Tell Them That I’m A Pastor’s Wife

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Five Favorites

If you didn’t know, I’m married to a Lutheran pastor. Most people either know this or smile and nod politely but it causes some people to say some pretty *interesting* things. Here are the five most interesting ones that I remember, three that are reactions to hearing that I’m a pastor’s wife and two that are stupid things people have said because of who I am.

One

“So this means you can have sex, right?” This was said to me at 2003 at a visitation for a parishioner who had passed away by a co-worker of the parishioner’s son. I was standing in the funeral home next to the church in some fairly conservative clothes with my husband and his internship supervisor next to me. My response: “I really hope so.” The person walked away and I remember seeing my husband’s internship supervisor’s face turning an interesting shade of purple and his eyes almost popping out of his head. Apparently, this was one of the more interesting things he had encountered at a funeral visitation.

Two

“Does this mean that you’re a nun?” This was said to me by a Lutheran kid at a Lutheran church camp. (I point out that it was a Lutheran setting because our clergy are almost always married.) Apparently, he really hasn’t paid attention in church because I knew his pastor and said pastor is very much married with kids who are my age!

Three

“But you don’t look like a pastor’s wife!” One of my former co-workers said this during my second week of work when I came to work wearing my “Pastor’s wife of an LQPV Eagle” sweatshirt. (LQPV is the local high school in the area where my husband served his first parish.) Apparently, I’m supposed to be old and wear long dresses or denim jumpers or something??? I mean… I did the long dresses and skirts but apparently I don’t fit the stereotypes otherwise?

Let’s now just go into stupid things people have said to me because I was the pastor’s wife.

Four

“You’re a pastor’s wife! You’re supposed to be holy and doing the work of God’s church!” This was said to me by a 90something parishioner in Minnesota when I told him that he couldn’t just walk into our parsonage unannounced. It had been a week since I had undergone a laproscopic cholecystectomy (“lap chole” for short — gallbladder removal) and I was walking around the upper floor of our parsonage in my sports bra and running shorts, so I was a bit panicked when the front door suddenly opened and I heard someone calling out, “Pastor?!? Mrs. Pastor?!?” Thankfully, one of our elders was nice enough to go talk to him and explain politely why this wasn’t allowed. He was more amenable to him explaining it than the 25 year old pastor’s wife.

Five

“You’re a pastor’s wife. You can’t drink alcohol if you’re out at a restaurant.” This was said to me by one of my “special” people in Montana who decided that she needed to lecture me about my appearance and my reputation when she saw me out shopping in sweats. What she didn’t know: I never drank alcohol around parishioners and I hadn’t had a drink in probably… over a year at that point because my liver had a death wish and they had to scrape scar tissue off of it when I had my lap chole. (I’m also the world’s cheapest drunk so it wasn’t a stretch to give up drinking.) She felt that she had a duty to lecture me about my reputation and standing as a pastor’s wife which meant that she would criticize everything I did, regardless of whether or not everyone else approved of me.

Go love up Hallie and the others.

Five Favorites: Boston and Fictitious Twitters

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Five Favorites

Before I post my favorite fictitious Twitter accounts, I want to say this:

BOSTON, YOU FREAKING ROCK!

Your blood banks were already full before the explosion happened and you stepped up to house/feed/take care of displaced marathoners. Seeing the spreadsheet of people who volunteered to transport people, house people in spare rooms, and feed people brought tears to my eyes. May God reward your efforts and may your city experience healing.

OK… onto my five favorites…

Uno

@UnvirtuousAbbey. I love these irreverent Canadians who inspire myself and many others not to take ourselves too seriously as Christians. Whether it be Star Wars prayers, Beatles prayers, or 80′s prayers, they never cease to make me laugh.

Dos

@CatFoodBreath. I have no doubt that there is a real cat inspiring the account but whoever writes it is hilarious. The user info describes the cat as “a 17 pound Siamese cat with a sushi habit” and this doesn’t surprise me given that Siamese cats are considered to be the pitbulls of the domestic cat world. I can imagine my monsters saying just about everything CFB tweets though mine definitely haven’t discovered buttered toast unless Jon has been feeding it to them.

Tres

@Rev_Norespect. I think he has my experience in ministry covered except for the Lutheran-specific parts. It’s not all bad but there are some things like getting a boatload of produce during the summer from people (or canned fruits/jams/salsa in our current parish) that are unique to it. I also love his You Might Be a Small Church Pastor If… list because many of them are true.

Quatro

@AnonChurchSec. I’m not the church secretary here for many reasons but I’ve helped out in Jon’s previous calls so I love Church Secretary. In the parishes where we’ve actually had one, I’ve made friends with them because they frequently are a source of support and also can sometimes be the gatekeeper to keep the crazies at bay. Having helped out, I can totally identify with a lot of what she says, especially her advice to get a guy from the church to come fix something. (I am totally not opposed to batting my eyelashes to get my way.)

Cinco

@ThePastors_Wife. I most solemnly swear that I am up to no good that this is not my Twitter account. I do identify with a lot of what she writes though, especially on the words she doesn’t want to hear, how to get people to shut up and stop feeding me information that I shouldn’t be privy to, and she also loves (and retweets) Grumpy Cat.

Go love up Hallie and the others.

7 Quick Takes: Cartacacoethes, Baseball, and the Ring Theory

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7 Quick Takes

Before we start, please lift up some prayers for Jen (our usual hostess) and her son Joseph Thomas who was born on Monday and is in the NICU 30 minutes away with lung/breathing issues. We’re well acquainted with the NICU here at ::Meditatio:: and I hope Jen knows that my husband Jon, our son Daniel, and I are praying for her and her family.

— 1 —

The Ring Theory. This article was published in the L.A. Times and shared around Facebook this week. The premise is making a dot in the center (the person suffering) and drawing concentric circles outward representing different subsets of people ranging from the spouse/family to close friends to colleagues etc. The rule is that any negative comments can only be directed to the outer rings from wherever you happen to be while comforting words can be directed to everyone inward.

Example of ring theory
(HT: LA Times website)

Can I just say that I love this and wish I could have had it for some special people in Montana?

— 2 —

Search term fun. Thanks to the installation of the Jetpack plugin for WordPress, I can engage in sharing interesting search terms. The vast majority of mine have to do with famous brothers in literature because of a post I wrote 9 years ago while trying to find names for my mom’s boys. The interesting ones in the last three months have been…

gallbladder soy cheese
mentos tsa
darius rucker pat tillman memorial
i hate niacin
jack nicholson “as good as it gets” candy in jars
sergio romo tastic t shirts
spanking and fibromyalgia

— 3 —

Update on Ian. Some of you might remember me asking for prayer for Ian Brown, one of my college classmates. The last time I updated, he was dealing with sinusoidal obstructive syndrome which is a rare liver disease associated with his bone marrow transplant. The only hope was an experimental drug called Defibrotide which is only made in Italy. They procured some for him and after a 21 day course, he is doing MUCH better. The latest blog post had a picture of him walking to the local Farmer’s Market which required a 3 1/2 mile walk there and back. For those of us who know Ian, this is nothing new. He is the embodiment of “abundant life”.

— 4 —

Brett. This is Brett. He needs a mama.

Brett

Could you possibly be his mama? Click his picture to learn more about him.

— 5 —

Kaia. Do you have a bunch of loose change lying around? Want to use it to make a BIG difference?

Kaia's Kindergarten Fund

Click on the picture of this beautiful young lady (Kaia) to find out about how your loose change can help her family bring her home and let her go to kindergarten this fall.

— 6 —

Baseball. The Giants did not do well against the Cardinals last weekend (a 14-3 loss on the 7th was the most embarrassing) but they swept their series with the Rockies and have done well against the Cubs thus far. I’m kind of bummed that the games aren’t usually shown up here in Sacramento except on rare occasions but I appreciate that I can usually catch them online.

— 7 —

Cartacacoethes. A few weeks ago, Leah of Unequally Yoked mentioned the book Maphead by Ken Jennings. I’ve stopped and started it a couple times because I’m finding that I can’t be reading anything else at the same time and my local library seems to have cleared the backlog on my request list. I’m aiming to read it during my spare moments this weekend (which may just be Saturday night — Jon has Acquire the Fire and Daniel will be at a Respite Night). Meanwhile, I’m having major cartacacoethes.

For more Quick Takes, visit the fabulous Grace at Camp Patton.

Surviving the NICU

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For those who don’t know, Jen Fulwiler of ConversionDiary.Com had her baby on April 8th. He has some breathing issues (unrelated to Jen’s pulmonary emboli) and is at a different hospital with better NICU facilities. She’s out of the original hospital but Joseph’s hospital is 30 minutes away. Priest’s Wife of Fear Not Little Flock put together a post on surviving the NICU and I thought I’d share my own wisdom as the picture below represents life for us 4 years ago.

Daniel being baptized on April 10, 2009

[+] Be gentle with yourself. It’s hard having a kid in the NICU. You get to cry as much as you want. If nothing else, you’re post-partum and it’s in the job description. You also need to take care of yourself though which means that you need to make an effort to eat, sleep, and do whatever you have to do to be functional.

[+] Ask LOTS and LOTS of questions. If you have qustionas and the doctor isn’t around, write them down and ask him when he rounds. (Oh yes… find out what time rounds are and be present for them.) There are no stupid questions when it comes to your baby. Want to know why they’re giving your baby a transfusion? Want to know what your child’s blood volume is? (I’m not kidding — I did actually ask the last one.) Ask away.

[+] Be as hands-on as you can. My son Daniel had specific care times at specific intervals. Our NICU encouraged me to be as involved as possible with them so I would take his temperature, change his diaper, and do anything else they needed done. It was good for me because I got to know what his baselines were and learned how to do things like bathe him without having to take a class. It also helps you know when there is something going on that needs attention. Something I didn’t know was that blood oxygen levels for preemies should be between 85-95% — anything higher can cause blindness.

[+] Engage in as much “kangaroo care” as possible. It has been empirically proven that “kangaroo care” (skin-to-skin contact with mom or dad) is beneficial to your baby as it helps them regulate their temperature and breathing. One of the best memories I have is of Daniel falling asleep on my chest. I also had the experience of him puking on my chest and having to remove my bra because of all the puke. :)

[+] Get the number for the NICU so you can call if you can’t room in with your baby. We couldn’t room in with Daniel until the end so I’d call the NICU before I left for the hospital and then when I got home. (I had a 2 hour commute each way so my favorite nurse actually instructed me to call when I got home.) I even called at 3 a.m. a few times when I needed an update.

These are my thoughts 4 years later. If you have any wisdom to offer, leave it over at Fear Not Little Flock.

December 21: Traditions/Christmas Decor

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Farm equipment for the holidays.

When we lived in Minnesota, there was a John Deere dealer down the street from us and I used to walk down there and buy toy farm implements for my dad because he was an engineer and utterly *fascinated* with the equipment. When I got to go combining in Montana, I called him from the combine to gloat. :) He stores his collection in the guest bathroom and changes up the load in the grain trailer depending on the season. This is the Christmas incarnation.

December 19 and 20: Something Far Away and a Free Day

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My picture didn’t get posted last night because Daniel ended up in the ER with a febrile seizure. He hasn’t seized again but he has a decent fever so I’ll be giving him Tylenol every 4-6 hours until we can get that fever down.

So… something far away:

Sweet Grass Hills

This is Montana and if you squint, you can see the Sweet Grass Hills in the difference distance. I could honestly say that I could see Canada from my house. ;)

For my “free day”:

Niiiiiice buffalo...

No… the bison wasn’t charging me — I happened to get it out of my window while driving through Yellowstone one afternoon in March 2008 when we were at Chico Hot Springs for Pastor’s Retreat.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: September 24, 2012

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We’re taking a break from posting on the 47% today to do my Monday meme. Thomas of Listening for the Shepherd and I are chatting via Twitter so there should likely be a post tomorrow.

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY September 24, 2012

Outside my window… sunny and in the low 80′s. I cannot wait for actual fall weather to get here.

I am thinking… about how to reform social services.

I am thankful… for Anna’s liver transplant. It took 2 years and 8 months for the transplant to come but it’s still an awesome thing.

In the kitchen… dishes to be done. I did make orzo this weekend though.

I am wearing… navy blue maternity shirt and Jon’s Left Behind shorts.

I am creating… an entry based on my convo with Thomas (eventually).

I am going… pray that Daniel will hold tight until I’m done with this entry.

I am reading… Bossypants by Tina Fey.

I am hoping… tomorrow is quieter than Tuesdays usually are around here.

I am looking forward to… the NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles season premieres tomorrow night.

I am learning how hard it can be to type with a house panther on one’s wrists. (Yes Edda, I’m talking to you.)

Around the house… vacuuming to do among other things.

I am pondering… the feeling of claws in my flesh. (Edda, please let go of my stomach. Mommy doesn’t like it when you draw blood.)

A favorite quote for today… “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… house panthers. (Edda totally told me to say that.)

A few plans for the rest of the week: Morning Prayer, season premieres on CBS, PECS training for Daniel, massage on Friday, and Run for Courage on Saturday.

Hosted by The Simple Woman’s Daybook