This week’s topic: if I could turn back time…

I try to live my life without regrets but there are things in my past that I wish I could do over.

If I could turn back time, I would make sure Daniel got the high-risk screening in Montana. Granted, our lives were in such chaos at the time that it would have been ONE MORE THING but it would have let us know that there was a problem before we reached southern California and had to figure out how to get him help.

If I could turn back time, I would not have compared Daniel to every other child I encountered. Doing all the comparing just made me feel like the worst mommy ever… and for things that weren’t my fault.

If I could turn back time, I would not have been so jealous of moms with normally-developing kids. This has been another source of stress in my life and it’s one that kept me from appreciating Daniel as much as I should have. I’m not going to lie — it is hard having a kid with special needs — but it is ten times cooler when he hits those milestones.

If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have procrastinated as much in high school. I did get good grades but they could have been better if I hadn’t put things off until the last minute.

If I could turn back time, I would have gone with my strengths in college and double majored in History and Linguistics. I’m glad I had all the Biology and Chemistry but my college GPA would have been better if I had gone with history classes and language classes, areas where I excel.

If I could turn back time, I would have learned NFP before I got married. The Pill had some negative effects on me and other forms of contraception don’t appeal to me. I wish I would have learned how to read my body to know what my fertile signs were so that I wasn’t in the dark about how my body works.

If I could turn back time, I would tell myself not to sweat the fact that I was never invited to Homecoming because it was overrated and I had better times at the formals in college. It really depressed me in my junior and senior years not to be invited and I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me. The answer: nothing. The really awesome guys who I hoped would ask me all turned out to be gay. Yeah… didn’t see that one coming.

If I could turn back time, I would take better care of myself. I’m having to drop a chunk of weight and am finding that doing so is a catch-22. My fibromyalgia is better with exercise… but the exhaustion makes it hard to exercise. I really need to find something I like doing and stick to it.

If I could turn back time, I would ignore the lies I was being told by Satan that any church I attended would give me crap because my parents weren’t there. I was thoroughly welcomed when I *did* start attending church and they were fine with the fact that I attended by myself.

Now go see Becky and what everyone else would do if they could turn back time.