Monthly Archives: October 2016

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: You Know You’re The Mom of A Developmentally Delayed Kid…

Posted on by

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

There is a giveaway from the lovely people at Dayspring. They really want to give someone a $100 gift card. The Rafflecopter for the giveaway is below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I’m in the midst of a week where I have a boatload of work due on Thursday and Friday so there might be “cheater” posts put up by me in the next couple days. Today’s is one that I wrote in November 2011 that applies to what I’m writing about this month. Enjoy!

Daniel had a pediatrics appointment today. After it was over, I seriously felt like I should be putting together a “You Know You’re A _____ If” list. So without further adieu…

You know you’re the mother of a developmentally delayed kid when…

[+] You rejoice because your kid is at the 25th percentile for height/weight/head circumference because they can finally plot the points on their growth chart.
[+] You can succinctly describe your horrendous pregnancy and birth experience in under 10 words but most of them have three or more syllables.
[+] The sight of your kid walking at 2.5 years old makes their pediatrician clap with joy because, dude, this is HUGE.
[+] You aren’t fazed by your kid’s abysmal MRI results because you got the report six months ago and your child’s physical therapist from Easter Seals talked you off the (figurative) ledge at that point.
[+] Your child’s pediatrician tells you that your child’s brain has many abnormalities (see “MRI results above”) and will never be like the brains of other kids their age. Your response: “We’ll see” while thinking to yourself that your child has a habit of defying predictions like these.
[+] Those abysmal MRI results get you a consult to every specialist you ask to see.
[+] Your child has more specialists in their lives than most hospitals have on staff. (Josh’s mother Susan is my former IV area director.)

Now for the ones that don’t apply to the peds appointment today!

[+] You know that you will cry when your child turns three and (in California) you lose your Easter Seals therapists. (Under the Lanterman Act in California, your child becomes the problem of their local school district once they turn three.)
[+] All your child’s developmental milestones are VERY BIG DEALS!!!!!!!
[+] You have stories from the NICU, PICU, and Peds wards of the hospital.
[+] You’ve had to explain to people why your kid is not waving at them, why your kid does not need a children’s menu, or why your kid isn’t doing ____ when other kids their age can do it.
[+] You finally just learned how to (joyfully) suppress the urge to say “Bite me!” to the person who asks the third question on that last item. (OK… again this is probably just me.)
[+] It makes you happy when people acknowledge your child/have a normal conversation with them instead of talking over them.
[+] You read the blogs of other mothers who have kids with developmental delays/Down’s Syndrome/autism spectrum disorders and can identify with their posts.

To the Man In $tarbux

Posted on by

To the man in $tarbux who is going around talking to people at a decibel level reserved for jet planes,

I don’t like you. I don’t want to hear you. I have an incredible amount of homework and classwork due on Thursday and Friday and am working here so I can sprawl across two tables. I have my ear buds in because I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!!!!

Coming over and talking to me will cause me to glare at you and tell you to SHUT YOUR GD PIEHOLE AND EFF OFF!!!! Continuing to try and talk to me will piss me off more and the only reason you are still in one piece is that the barista came over to talk to you and saved me the trouble.

Let me reiterate:

I DON’T LIKE YOU.

THE MERE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE PISSES ME OFF.

I DON’T WANT TO SOCIALIZE WITH YOU.

So please, LEAVE MY COFFEE SHOP AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE YOUR MERE EXISTENCE IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN A HOMICIDAL RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Snuggles,

The Tiny Irish-American Woman with the Earbuds and the Accounting Books

My Allegiances for the MLB Play-Offs

Posted on by

This is kind of tongue-in-cheek so keep that in mind. 🙂

So… here is who I’m rooting for in the division series, the championship series, and the World Series.

First and foremost allegiance: GIANTS!!!!!!! While I had an opinion on who would take the various ALDS series, I’m ultimately rooting for my Giants and hoping/praying they make it to the World Series.

Who I will root for if my boys don’t make the Series: the Nats or the Cubs (even if they eliminate my boys, they’re having a fabulous season and they’ve more than earned their place in the post-season)

Who I will not root for under any circumstances: the Losers from LA (a.k.a the Dodgers, who are the bitter rivals of my beloved GIANTS), the Indians (I hate Cleveland teams), and the Rangers (Bush Jr. used to own them and I personally love it when people mess with Texas).

This means…

Cubs vs. Giants: I’m rooting for the Giants. Duh.
Losers vs. Nats: I’m rooting for the Nats.
Indians vs. Red Sox: I was rooting for the Red Sox. Unfortunately, they’ve been eliminated. 🙁
Toronto vs. Texas: I was rooting for Toronto. They did not disappoint. 🙂

Conditions under which I will not watch the World Series period: Losers vs. Indians

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: School Choices

Posted on by

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

If you read my post on IEP’s and 504 plans, you’ll know that all children with disabilities are guaranteed a free and appropriate public education in the least restrictive setting. This can look different depending on what schools are available in the area.

Public schools: In California, the school district takes over services at age 3 and I think it is the same situation in Washington. In any case, the district would pay for certain evaluations to be done as well as accept reports from any therapists already working with the child. All of these evaluations are compiled together into a report and an IEP or 504 Plan meeting is called. The results of the evaluations are discussed and you are given a choice of programs. I think our choices for Daniel were the ABA classroom, a special day class, or neither one but to just receive certain therapies.

Private schools: This wasn’t an option for Daniel but it might be for your kiddo. If you can ensure that they have whatever supports they need and you’re willing to pay for it, go for it!

Charter schools: Sometimes a charter school exists like Land Park Campus in Sacramento. If the school meets your kid’s needs, this might be a workable option.

Homeschooling: If you feel like this is your best option, there are curricula like this one from Memoria Press. (HT: Julie.) You can get therapy services from the school district but educate your kid yourself.

What we decided to do: Jon was homeschooled from K-12 but I had no desire to homeschool Daniel, even if he had been neurotypical. With the added issues from the autism, there was just no way I could do it and retain my sanity because working with Daniel would require more patience than I possess. We were very fortunate to have the ABA class at our local preschool in Galt and that was the option we chose. I’m still in contact with his teacher and she was such a wonderful resource for me. It also gave me the morning for doctor’s appointments and to get done what I needed to get done. For Daniel, it became a fun place for him to go and meet people and grow as a child, something that doesn’t happen with a mother who is as introverted as I am. It was honestly a win-win for all of us.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: Information Literacy

Posted on by

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

Before I write a blog post on the lack of connection between vaccines and autism, I wanted to do a post on “information” literacy” so that people understand why getting their information on vaccines from a blog on whole foods is not an appropriate thing to do.

So.. what is information literacy? Well…

Information literacy is a set of abilities requiring individuals to “recognize when information is needed and have the ability to locate, evaluate, and use effectively the needed information.” (Source)

Putting succinctly, it’s a set of abilities to process what you read and hear appropriately.

The competency standards are:

  • Determines the nature and extent of information needed
  • Accesses the needed information effectively and efficiently
  • Evaluates information and its sources critically and incorporates selected information into his or her knowledge base and value system
  • Uses information effectively to accomplish a specific purpose
  • Understands many of the economic, legal, and social issues surrounding the use of information, and accesses and uses information ethically and legally
    (Source)

The part of information literacy that I want to get into today is Standard 3, Performance Indicator 2 on this page:

The information literate student articulates and applies initial criteria for evaluating both the information and its sources.

Outcomes Include:

a.) Examines and compares information from various sources in order to evaluate reliability, validity, accuracy, authority, timeliness, and point of view or bias
b.) Analyzes the structure and logic of supporting arguments or methods
c.) Recognizes prejudice, deception, or manipulation
d.) Recognizes the cultural, physical, or other context within which the information was created and understands the impact of context on interpreting the information

Why this particular passage? Because I’ve found that there are a lot of people who take whatever they read on the Internet as completely true or who go searching for things to cite that fit their actual viewpoint instead of searching for what is true and provable.

The example given in the reading comprehension thing I had to do for the college was of a student doing a paper on acne. They had to choose between a piece written by the American Medical Association, something written by the maker of Accutane, and a blog entry. The question was about which piece was a better choice based on the criteria in this performance objective. (Psst! The answer is the piece from the American Medical Association.)

So why am I bringing this up? Because parents have to sort out all the good information from the bad regarding their kids’ conditions. For example, parents need to know to dismiss it when people tell us something about autism that they learned from their neighbor’s girlfriend’s college roommates’ boyfriend’s sister’s nephew.

This post lays out the framework for some things I’ll be writing in the coming days so thanks for hanging in there with this. 🙂

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: October 9, 2016

Posted on by

For Today… October 9, 2016

Simple Woman's Daybook

Looking out my window… sunny though chilly (at least to me). The Grumpy Cat Weather app on my phone says it’s in the low 60’s.

I am thinking… about people who are dismissing Trump’s statements as “locker room talk” or “jock talk”. Especially odious are the people *WHO HAVE DAUGHTERS* and are doing this. His alleged apology showed no remorse — “I’m sorry if you were offended” is narcissistic crap as is his explaining away what he did and alluding to Bill Clinton. True men don’t deflect their behavior onto others when they apologize.

I am thankful… for those I follow on Twitter who are live-tweeting the debate tonight so I don’t have to waste 90 minutes of my life watching it. (Lest I be accused of creating my own little bubble of like-minded people on Twitter, most of the people I follow are people with whom I disagree on politics.) I’d love for the mainstream media to stop moderating these debates and give them back to the League of Women Voters. There might actually be some civility if each politician isn’t trying to vie for the ability to get their soundbite into the debate.

One of my favorite things… having all of my Excel work done 24 hours ahead of when it is due.

I am wearing… blue-green shirt and black capris. Church attire this morning was my burgundy shirt from Old Navy with a black cardigan and black slacks from Kohl’s. My shoes were my amazingly awesome black flats from Naturalizer that are two years old and still going strong.

I am creating… a separate page with the comment policy for this blog. It *WAS* listed on the page with the ground rules for this site but I have some readers who apparently are illiterate and *SHOCKED* when I dare to enforce it. Having it on a separate page might solve this issue. 🙂

I am reading… not enough. I need to make a better effort to commune with my e-reader more often!

I am hoping… for a relatively quiet week.

I am learning… about journalizing and posting in my Accounting class.

In my kitchen… I think Mom is making “Jimmy Chicken” tonight. It’s a family recipe.

In the school room… Daniel continues to enjoy school and even tried some of the applesauce his class made for a fall-themed activity.

Post Script… I’m hoping the research they’re doing pans out.

Shared Quote… Yay adulting!

Let them eat cake!

A moment from my day… We were blessing animals today so we sang this for our processional:

Hosted by The Simple Woman.

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs: Doctors

Posted on by

31 Days of Parenting Kiddos with Special Needs

Given that my kiddo had his ADHD appointment and flu shot on Wednesday and I had my flu shot/pneumonia shot yesterday, the subject of doctors is fresh on my mind. I thought I’d share some things I’ve learned in having to find doctor’s and specialists for Daniel. As always, your experience may vary.

[+] Do your homework. Generally, most medical practices have a website and they usually talk a little bit about the doctor’s education, what their passions are with regard to medicine, if they do anything outside of the clinic like medical missions trips, etc. Read up on all of this so you can ask intelligent questions.

[+] Look for doctors who can think out of the box a little bit. Daniel hates doctors. He HATES them and part of it is that he hates being stuck in an exam room or restrained for an exam. Dr. Phenomenal, his pediatrician at UC Davis, used to have them schedule us for her first appointment of the morning when part of the clinic would be empty. We’d go for a walk around the empty part so that Daniel could open/close doors to his hearts content and she and I could have a conversation about whatever was concerning me. We’d pop into empty exam rooms every so often so she could do things like check his ears or listen to his heart, but she was more than happy to let him run. In return, he was slightly better about her messing with him to check his ears.

Dr. Awesome, his pediatrician here in Washington, is similar in that her approach is not to mess with him unless she has to. She lets him play with the automatic paper towel dispenser and turn off the computer screen for her which probably makes him like her because he *NEVER* gets to do stuff like that when it’s just me in the room!

[+] Find a balance between respecting their education but also not letting them speak down to you. Remember that your technical degree or bachelor’s degree in the humanities is not equivalent to their medical degree. This means that while you can ask questions about that blog post you read on the Wheatbelly blog that talks about how all gluten is bad for us, they’re going to tell you that only around 1% of the population actually *HAS* celiac disease and the Wheatbelly people are quacks and you should *LISTEN* to them. (Dr. William Davis is a cardiologist, not a gastroenterologist. There’s a difference.)

By the same token, don’t settle for doctors being condescending to you. You know your kid and they need to treat you with respect, even if you come across as a hysterical mom. One of Daniel’s pediatric neurologists had a resident working under her who treated me like I could only understand one-syllable words. Later, I mentioned to the neurologist and her entourage that Daniel was starting an ABA preschool program and Dr. Condescending asked me what ABA was. The rest of the entourage was similarly clueless so the neurologist asked me to explain it to them. It was fun watching their faces when I told them that “ABA is a methodology of working with kids with autism in which you achieve the desired behavior by modifying the antecedent.” They looked at me as if to say, “oh crap… she has a brain!”

This is all for now. Leave me any questions you have.