Category Archives: Health

Flattened (II)

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Daniel did rebound last night and has stayed stable since. Here are some vignettes from today.

[+] A friend from college is taking me to dinner tonight to get me out of the hospital and I’m simultaneously happy to get away from the hospital for a couple hours and terrified that something is going to happen while I’m gone. Everyone has told me that this is something I *HAVE* to do — if I stay on the unit 24/7, I will go crazy and I know this. I thought I was being so good though in taking meal breaks… (Dinner was good. We had pho. Daniel was fine while I was gone.)

[+] Because of the possibility that Daniel might still be needing ECMO last night, I was banished to the “quiet room” for the night where I made a pallet on the floor. I didn’t think I’d sleep well but I actually got six uninterrupted hours without being woken up for x-ray techs.

[+] I’ve gotten to be friends with the family at the opposite end of the PICU. (I ended up comforting the baby’s aunt on Monday when they called a code on her nephew and she and her husband were being present for me last night.) Her nephew is in worse shape than Daniel and the mom and I had a talk today about the whole thing. She had a copy of Our Daily Bread and she was talking about how she’s been reading it to her son. I think I’ll start doing that with Daniel. Her family is praying for Daniel and I’m praying for her baby.

[+] The resident who seems to be on during the day needs some better instruction in bedside manner. It doesn’t work to be an ice princess when you’re dealing with fragile parents. I think she’ll improve with time but it was irritating talking to her on Tuesday. Her attending is being more careful with me after watching me go to pieces (justifiably) two days in a row. The other peds resident who came in today was wonderful — very polite and asked if I minded if he examined Daniel. (He didn’t have to ask but I did appreciate it.) He then expressed concern about how I was doing and urged me to get off the unit and out of the hospital when I could. It was nice that he was concerned — it does help to know that I’m part of this.

[+] The anesthesiologist who did Daniel’s intubation on Monday stopped in to see him. This was really sweet — he didn’t have to do it and I thanked him for it.

[+] I’m not incredibly happy with God still (issues with WHY this is happening) but He is no longer on notice.

God willing, we’ll have another quieter day tomorrow and no drama tonight.

My Sanctity of Life Week Post

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I heard on Air1 that it’s Sanctity of Life week and I felt like I should weigh in. (In other words, free posting topic!)

My Sanctity of Life story comes from my pregnancy with Daniel. At one of my appointments, Dr. Awesome asked if I wanted the MSAFP test (it tests for Down’s Syndrome and spina bifida). I didn’t really feel like getting it but Jon wanted it so I gave in. A week later, Dr. Awesome herself left a message on my answering machine at home which was a red flag. (Nurses usually call with test results. Dr. Awesome calling meant something was wrong.) It turns out that the test came back elevated for Down’s Syndrome and they were getting my 3-D ultrasound scheduled in Great Falls ASAP. After getting 5 phone calls in a 10 minute period, my co-workers caught on that there was a problem and a lot of them were freaking out for my sake.

I was more angry because the reason they were getting the ultrasound moved up was so that they could do amniocentisis if need be and abort the baby if the amnio came back showing Down’s Syndrome. Seriously, if Daniel had been born with Down’s Syndrome, we would have been OK with that. He was a WANTED child and would be a LOVED child.

The 3-D ultrasound showed that he was fine (and the “elevated” level was a 1% chance which I wish I’d known — it would have saved a lot of people a lot of worry). The doctor doing the ultrasound (my peri-natalogist Dr. Fabulous) was the one who delivered Daniel two months later so it was good that I had the patient relationship with him.

Learning That I’m Not Alone

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When I saw that the Promise Walk had a northern California event, I emailed the organizer and offered to do some social media stuff (i.e. Twitter, Facebook, etc.) for it. Little did I know that I would eventually become one of the organizers.

It’s been humbling to read some of the stories of my fellow organizers who not only got hit with pre-eclampsia as I did early in their third trimester (or even before), are HELLP survivors who ended up in the ICU, or lost their baby because of the pre-eclampsia. A number of walkers are doing the walk as part of their healing process just as I am and it’s comforting to know that I’m not some bizarre anomaly, that other people have dealt with the developmental delays, the feeding issues (preemies who had feeding tubes or ventilators have really underformed oral muscles and texture issues), and that it is completely possible to have a healthy pregnancy after pre-eclampsia. (Not that I’m considering one any time soon…)

Monday morning (after getting up to change Daniel), I had a dream where Sara Sidle of CSI had it and died. (They weren’t sure that the baby was going to make it.) I was in a complete rage at the doctor for letting Sara die (which does unfortunately happen with pre-e, especially if it’s HELLP and the liver ruptures) and I was ripping up books, beating people up, etc. I think it was my subconscious expressing the anger I have that women still die from this (especially in 3rd world countries where pre-natal care can be non-existent).

Please click the graphic on my sidebar and donate. I don’t care if it’s as little as $1. This is a cause about which I feel passionate because I survived it only because the doctors knew what they were doing.

You’ve Got to Be Freaking Kidding Me…

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CNN.Com: Medical journal: Study linking autism, vaccines is ‘elaborate fraud’

The doctor who perpetrated the fraud (who has been stripped of his medical license) is actually *DEFENDING* the study. Bimbo actress Jenny McCarthy is perpetrating the lie that all this information is being put out in an attempt to prop up vaccine makers.

OK… how about this: WE DON’T HAVE THE PROBLEMS WITH ALL THESE DISEASES THAT EXIST IN THE THIRD WORLD BECAUSE WE VACCINATE OUR KIDS!!!!! Seriously, all the problems we’ve had with whooping cough outbreaks are because morons don’t vaccinate their kids or themselves.

It reminds me of the House M.D. episode where some simpering woman in the clinic tells House that her baby is getting “mommy protection” (i.e. breastfeeding) instead of vaccines and House replies sarcastically that “mommy protection” is only good for about 6 months.

VACCINATE YOUR KIDS, PEOPLE!!!!